December 31, 2010

Last Rant Of The Year

Rant begins...

As we say ta-ta to 2010 we should have a quick look back to remind ourselves that nothing changes. Absolutely nothing.

I'll skip the first five months because the Labour fucknuts still had the keys to the kingdom. They created a mess of biblical proportions so any incoming government was buggered from day one. Still, it was amusing and staggering, in equal measures, to watch as Colostomy Broon clung to the door frame of No 10. The only way to get him out was to shame him out. Since he was ousted, he has done fuck all. I think he has graced Westminster with his presence twice since the election. Nice work if you can get it, eh? Try that with your employer next year: stay at home all year, but pop in twice to say hello. Your employer will probably be overjoyed to pay your salary month in, month out, without even raising an eyebrow.

With Numbnuts out of the way, in steamed the newly weds, Davey and Nicky. After a slack handful of promises and cast-iron guarantees, they proceeded to do exactly the same as the ZaNuLabour crew. They reneged on every single promise, they gave more money to the EU, plus another fistful of our sovereignty, and they carried on rubber-stamping even more nonsensical EU legislation. That tired them out so they decided to just cut & paste the shite directly onto the statute rolls. They clipped the wings of a few quangoes but it was, and still is, far too little, far too late. We still have a bloated public sector and we are still all slaves, as are our children and their children.

A couple of speed cameras were deactivated. Not in the name of liberty, but because a succession of gormless councils, who are obviously receiving far too much funding, buried it all in ultra-safe bank accounts in Iceland. You know the rest, Iceland went titsup and the councils demanded their money back. Iceland told them to fuck off. Result? We get services cut. Pay the same for less. Lovely jubbly.

The EU wobbled as Greece, Portugal and Ireland went crying to Brussels for more pocket-money, and of course, the Gollum caved in and increased their loans so that they could give it to the banks who in turn, handed it straight back out but this time it was called bonuses. Very nice.

We are still in Iraq, although in limited numbers. We are still in Afghanistan but the reductions come home in body bags. We send replacements, just like the US and A tell us to, and we are told that we are definitely not there for the "newly discovered oil and $1 trillion worth of gold, copper, bauxite and diamonds". That's good because I firmly believed that we were there to deliver democracy to a race of people that have no concept of democracy. They haven't needed it for 5,000 years but they will now that we need to rape them of their natural resources. To my knowledge, no Afghan has ever attacked this island but we are kept in a state of perpetual terror just in case they do. Marvellous.

Not content with interfering in the Middle East, I read in the news today that we are ready to go to bat in the Ivory Coast. Apparently the election was tainted (shock fucking horror) and we need to deliver democracy there too. The oilfields in Ivorian waters have fuck all to do with it. Nosirreebob.

So, we ended up with a government no-one voted for and they have morphed into NuLabour MKII. With people in real need here, they quickly decided that the best course of action was to increase aid to other countries. Which is just Jim Dandy. I know, because I see it everywhere I go in Africa, that the money dispatched by idiots in "developed" nations rests briefly in the destination country before being whizzed off to Zurich where it "earns a better interest" in the account of whoever happens to be the president of the nation in "need".

Your government (they are no longer my business, I have disowned them, legally and lawfully) continue to tinker about with the car window when it is the engine that is about to seize. They genuinely cannot see the large herd of elephants in every room they walk into. They don't listen to the people because the people are stupid. The people are there for one purpose only, which is to generate more money for them to piss up against the wall. The Cabinet has more millionaires than any other in history yet these fuckwits keep insisting we are "in this together". Yeah. I believe you Davey. I believe you Nicky. It must be such a fucking struggle for you to make ends meet. It's so tough that you simply cannot stay away from that trough that the taxpayers obediently keep topping up for you. You are all still thieves. Changing the tie colour didn't fool us.

The only glimmer of hope lies here. It seems that a serious think-tank has prophesised the death of the euro. In five to ten years. Change the timing to five to ten minutes and you will have a very happy bunny on your hands here. The death of the euro will sound the death knell for the EU, and its' demise cannot come soon enough. It thieves from us as well but the inepts in Westminster simply smile and sign off on the cheques. It isn't their money, why should they give a fuck? The most annoying words I hear, and I hear them all the fucking time, are these: "Government money", "Government buildings", "Government lands". They OWN NOTHING! It all belongs to us. All of it. They are not a benefit to society, they are parasites, leeches and vampires. Cut off the money and they will die. We do not need them. They need us.

But we forget that. All the time. We keep donating to this pathetic charity that smiles inanely and wastes almost every penny we "donate".

We are unable to say no. We are unwilling to say no. 99% of us have no idea that we can say no.

Unless and until a shitload of you start saying it we are doomed.

It is simple, it is liberating, and it fucks them up.

Now there's a resolution for you: get off your knees and tell them to fuck off.

Rant ends...



Angry Exile said...

If it's any consolation, and there's no reason it should be, we were only four or five hours into 2010 when I felt like warning everyone in the UK that it felt exactly the same as 2009.... and so of course it turned out to be. Fucker, eh?

Off topic, I know, but you're tagged to describe your blogging environment.

Happy New Year.

Lost said...

Yep Cap that about sums it all up nicely.

"They genuinely cannot see the large herd of elephants in every room they walk into"

Imho Cap the elephants are meant to be there , not only can they see them they were led into the room purposely.

Anyways, Happy Gregorian calender reset to you and yours :)


TTC said...

A very late entry, Captain, but I think you just wrote a contender for 'Blog Post of the Year'...

Have a Rebellious New one...


defender said...

It is my resolution, yet again, to be as awkward a bastard as possible, when given the oppertunity.

I wish you all freedom and justice.
May the cold warm you.

Christopher - Conservative Perspective said...

Rant extraordinaire! Happy New Year Captain!

Anonymous said...

Excellent rant. Some friends of mine have tried to explain the overall Freeman philosophy to me - something about declaring yourself an independent person and disregarding birth certificates and social security numbers (I live in the States). Sounds like a decent idea, although I support taxes when it comes to stuff like roads and schools and hospitals and libraries - anything that helps the less fortunate.

But yeah, it saddens me that my tax dollars are mostly going towards my government's presence in the Middle East. I always thought it would be nice to have an option on our taxes that dictates where exactly the money will go, but for that option to work it would need to be taken seriously by the powers-that-be (fat chance, I know).

Anyways, cool blog and happy New Year.

Caratacus said...

@defender - my resolution every year too! This country must be full of contrary bastards ... which is heartening.

Next year I shall mostly be eating ... porridge.

All the best for 2011 CR. No prisoners.

microdave said...

Excellent round up CR - shame it won't be read out on the Beeb!

Happy New Year.

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks lads!

Have a good 'un.


Captain Ranty said...


"Sounds like a decent idea, although I support taxes when it comes to stuff like roads and schools and hospitals and libraries - anything that helps the less fortunate."

So do I.

I draw the line at donating over 50% of my earnings to them year after year only for them to waste it.

A rate of 5% would possibly give value for money.


JJ said...

More ranting in the New Year - eh?

Anonymous said...

Start as you mean to go on..
Awkward buggers is a great concept.
Could maybe dropping your surname, family name?.
Only slave names. Belong to names..
Why not just be John, George, Edward, no slave name!!! When asked for surname by TPTB say, "Slave name I do not have one"..
Be sure of what you are talking of and they will be surely confused.
Give every child born one name, first name only.Not unlawful to do this.
Use as use, play as they play, it is not that complicated.
Be Well..M.

Angry Exile said...

Something I didn't mention earlier about the Euro and the predictions that it's going to fall apart, but which I've said this elsewhere before. What do you think the reaction of the überEurophiles and EU mandarins is going to be if/when it fails? They may be a lot of things but I doubt they're entirely ignorant of the fact that the model for a historically successful federation is political union first, then deal with the currency later. The Yanks created the dollar as their official currency in 1792, more than fifteen years after declaring themselves to be an independent union and nearly a decade after the war had ended. Australia federated exactly 110 years ago today but took until 1910 to create the Australian Pound and until 1966 to replace that with the Aussie dollar.

When it came to the Euro I remember a few articles pointing out this kind of thing and suggesting that political and economic union might be a prerequisite for a successful currency union. Since they didn't fit in with the goals of the project they were of course dismissed or ignored, but if it goes tits up I'd expect the tune to change: some will blame the failure of the Euro on the incomplete integration of the European nations into the EU and will claim that if all of Europe will just federalise properly it will work next time, really it will. Naturally there'll be no referendum this time either, and whoever is PM of Britain at the time will be leant on, induced and persuaded to accept their office becoming internally as significant as that of the Governor of Illinois (or maybe New York - depends on what happens with the rest of the UK). Then say hello to the United States of Europe, modelled on the defunct federation that once existed to the east. Euro Mk II will be along ten to twenty years after that, and I wouldn't be shocked if some fucker has already got the preliminary designs for the notes on his desk right now.

Incidentally, I'm a fan of federation and in itself I don't think a USE would necessarily be a bad thing if, and this is vital, if it was a federation of competing states, had a directly elected federal government with strictly limited powers instead of an appointed Commission/Politburo that can do what the fuck it likes, and was actually what European people really wanted. I'm not sure all of those conditions will ever be met and sure as hell not in the EU's current form.

Anonymous said...

Magnificent, Captain.

Dr Evil said...

I think the Sontarans are more of a danger to us than the Afghans.

ReefKnot said...

Damn those Sontarans !

Mekusacuppa said...

What a marvellous rant!

I think your blog is stellar. I really enjoy reading it, please continue.

Happy New Year.

defender said...

R U getting up this year? It must have been a right good piss up at Ranty Manor.

When you sober up here is a good interesting read

Dark Lochnagar said...

Yes, well said. That just about sums it up and until we get out on the streets and get the system changed it will remain in place. The politicians are just slaves to the Establishment and the monarchy who have just been handed the keys to the cookie jar in Osborne's budget with access to money from the Crown Estates, for the first time for nearly 250 years. Slipped in and practically no one noticed it.