December 07, 2010

McTax Haven?

Head north, folks!

According to this, living in Scotland could ease your tax burden. Under new powers granted to the Scottish Executive (I refuse to call it a parliament or a government until they start acting like one) MSPs will be able to set the nations taxation from 2015.

Here are a couple of snippets:

"It has already been reported that Scotland was to do away with Stamp Duty Land Tax, now at a painful 5% for properties over £1 million, but the new news is not only that Landfill Tax is also to be ignored (no jokes, please), but also that Scotland is to have its own modified version of income tax.

In actual fact, Holyrood have had the power to adjust UK income tax by up to 3% for some years, but this 'tartan tax' has never been used. Now, the Scottish Parliament will, under the new legislation, need to determine an annual Scottish rate of tax that will apply to 'proper' Scottish people (more on who is, and who isn't Scottish later).

The way the new rules work is that, for non-savings income (so things like bank interest and dividends are excluded, owing to the different charging regime that applies to these sources), Scotland will deduct 10% from each of the basic, higher and additional rates of tax, and then add on the annually-determined Scottish rate.

Clearly, therefore, there is scope for the rate of tax for Scots to be up to 10% less than in the rest of the UK. Sounds quite attractive doesn't it? So under which circumstances exactly can Fools consider themselves Scottish?"


"The last condition, Condition C ensures a small group of people are also able to consider themselves Scottish, should it be to their advantage. Condition C specifically entitles Scottish MPs, Scottish MEPs, and Members of the Scottish Parliament to the Scottish tax treatment."

"Specifically entitles..".Of course it does. There is absolutely no point being in power unless you are going to make special rules for you and you alone.

I wash a little shurpryshed that there washn't a speshul claushe jusht for Shorn Connery. Probably jusht a mishtake.

As you will note, the absolute minimum they can steal off you will be 10%. In RantyWorld that is an obscene amount. 5% or less is nearer the mark. And is there any point taking odds on the Scottish Parliament Executive setting the basic rate at 10%?

Never in life, would be my guess.

Still, if you have a hankering for deep fried* Mars bars, deep fried pizzas, deep fried meat pies, Buckfast, a little racism from the Scots towards the English, smaller class sizes, an abundance of clean water, cleaner air, beautiful countryside, women that swear like dockers, shops that close at 5pm, higher petrol prices, lower house prices, cheaper land, and a bit of snow now and then, this is the place for you.

Flog your two-bedroomed semi down south and don't do what the "wrong type" of English folk do. Which is to say that they head north, buy a huge place and with all their spare cash they immediately buy a flock of goats. All the weirdo's do that. Then they join committees and do their best to make their new place like their old place. They are twats, mostly. Head up by all means, just don't be a twat when you get here. I have survived 21 years here without being a twat. It is not difficult.

Then you too will be able to say, "Yes. One hails from the North Atlantic Region. One bought a small place outside Aberdeenshire. I believe the locals call it Morayshire."


*The Scots will deep fry just about anything, as this well-researched, well balanced and entirely accurate report will tell you.


Anonymous said...

How you going to act on 2011 Census?

Captain Ranty said...

I could Reject for Cause (the cause being that I am in Lawful Rebellion) or I can populate the answer section with bollocks.

I haven't decided until I see the form.

I will post on it when the form arrives.


Dioclese said...

Scottish income taxes? I'd like the see the civil servant who could write a spec for the computer system to make that work - nevermind the rogrammer who could actually get it to work.

For these reasons, it will never happen!

Captain Ranty said...

Yeah, it will be an unholy mess.

On the upside, they have another five years to fuck it right up, even before it begins.


James Higham said...

Paradise north of the border.

Lost said...

Regarding the 2011 census.

I think the Iron legged one had the best idea.

In the religion section put "smoker"

Just for fun :)


Anonymous said...

What about 2 Goats?

Anonymous said...

Jacobite said...

Scotland best part of England.

Anonymous said...

In the religion section put "smoker"

Just for fun :)

Spot on.

The Jedi managed to make Jedi work.