December 01, 2010

Perverts Paradise

I nicked this from El Filthy Engineero.

It bears reshowing. I fly 30 or 40 times a year and I hate this routine invasion of my privacy. They must know that I fly 30 or 40 times a year and they must also know that I haven't ever blown up a plane or even attempted to.

Rant begins.

For the last twenty years almost all the bombers have been beardy dudes with 76 virgins uppermost in their tiny minds. Another clue is their religion: they are all Muslims. As much as I like our Muslim brothers, and I do, the only sensible thing is profiling. Bill Smith the white man is highly unlikely to want to blow the plane out of the sky. No virgins for him, just eternal damnation. Wave him through. Abdullah Abdullah Ahmed Fawsi Delbasset is another kettle of fish. Lots of virgins for him, and some, if Allah wills it, will be as old as seven or eight. Take Abdullah to one side and check him. I'm not saying he will have 12 kilos of Semtex shoved up his glory hole but when you put him alongside Bill, who is more likely to want to kill all the passengers in the name of Allah, praise be upon him?

It isn't fucking rocket surgery, is it?

Then again, the people they employ to carry out this job are not exactly bright, are they? I mostly have to travel through terminal 5 at Heathrow where these chimps all seem to have the IQ of a facecloth. They are rude and they are arrogant. They are unpleasant people and I see them committing enough mistakes to make me sweat. And yes, the people they fuck around the most are the Bill Smiths passing through their nonsensical checkpoints.

Separate queues for Muslims, that's what I say.

And you know what? The good ones will get so pissed off they will take more of an interest in the bad ones and they may start tipping off the chimps.

Or, just ban all Muslims from flying. That way we can all be safe and will not have to endure the humiliation.

Rant ends.



I am Stan said...

Problem is Capitan those of the Muslim persuasion come in all hues of the rainbow,and anyone with a weak mental state can be brainwashed by a skilled operative even "John Smith".

As a security bod myself, managing security for a justice department courts Ive met em all and will take NOTHING for granted.

Ive confiscated bottles of white lightening from piss heads and various weapons and drugs from perfectly "normal" looking people,only once has problem slipped through the net,a chap in a wheel chair no less,stabbed a guard in the leg in a fit of anger when he lost his case,no one thought he would be a threat...BAH!

I see your point though,no doubt intelligence led profiling works to a point but terrorists would and will and probably already have, resort to a "clean skin",and recruit the very last person you would expect as a bombing loon.

Elderly white female anyone?....BOOOM!

"They are rude and they are arrogant. They are unpleasant people"

I show empathy and try to be as polite as possible,even when faced with hostility and aggression,its a game...but a serious one,they win (bad guys) bad things happen!,we win (security) every one goes home safe.

Having said all that I or my crew never touch peoples "Junk"...;)

Anonymous said...

It may wake up some more sheeple.

Anonymous said...

I travel as much as the good cap'n in what looks like a similar line of work to similar places...

I am heartily fed up with the skooritty ratchet, this month (Nov) - 50cm of vinyl tape, a pair of vernier calipers, a 10cc tube of BA toothpaste ... The baboons (Yes Bristol that's you)in "skooritty management" seem to want to up the ante of confiscation to ridiculous heights - jobsworth hardly covers it.

The Sercos , G4S et al of this world are plundering the public purse and paying the footsoldiers peanuts for what looks to me like an exercise in intimidation.

Half the time when I fly they give me steel knives and forks on board that would've been confiscated at "skooritty" FFS.

My present personal annoyance is the allowing of women in stilletto heels on board as these items are a proven and commonly used weapon... Remember you read it here first folks.

will said...

If you've not already read this article check out how the Israelis manage better than us in the face of a much greater threat -
One of their best ideas is if, after all alternative measures are exhausted, a person or their luggage must be scanned/searched this is done within a blast proof enclosure. As the article says, anyone attempting to carry an explosive onto a plane in the UK is now queued up with hundreds of victims before any security measures are encountered. (the Israelis carry out profiling at the carpark entrance). Our would-be bomber in a UK airport is now surrounded by victims and faced with the prospect of imminent discovery. Our system almost encourages the bombing of security queues within the terminal.
I saw an idea whereby passengers would individually enter a fast and automated blast proof room where some sort of pulse would detonate any explosives on them. No xrays, profiling or pat downs. Would anyone even bother trying? Not a good idea IMO. I don't think such magical pulse technology exists and if it did it would probably be dangerous.