April 16, 2011

Sleep Tight...

Most of you know that I fly a lot.

Next week I am off to Cameroon again and then across to Lagos. I will use five aircraft to get there and back.

1. Aberdeen to Paris
2. Paris to Douala
3. Douala to Lagos
4. Lagos to Amsterdam
5. Amsterdam to Aberdeen

My confidence in flying was unshakeable.

Right up to the moment I read this story about the pilot and the fucking co-pilot nodding off.

But, I thought, "At least we have the ever vigilant air controllers watching over us".

Then I read this sphincter-relaxing tale about the watchers falling asleep.  

Regularly!

Marvellous.

I usually nod off myself but I can see some sleepless flights coming up. I'll have to risk being tasered and strapped into my seat by burly women as I repeatedly bang on the cockpit door shouting "Oi! Are you awake in there? Good! Now get air traffic on the blower and give them a shake too!"

It's that, or pre-load with gin & tonic and pray that the end is swift.

No screaming like in the movies.

Just some gentle snoring.

CR.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I want to die quietly in my sleep (like my grandfather) rather than screaming like his passengers!

WitteringsfromWitney said...

Wus! :)

Live an 'Achievable Life' said...

Something for you to read on your flight

http://www.fmotl.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=45&t=6841

It will keep you awake for sure.

Namaste, phil;
p.s Nothing to do with flying

Anon 00;32 said...

I do believe auto pilot is on for most of the flight but that doesn't for allow any case of things going wrong where manual pilot intervention would be required.

Trooper Thompson said...

A Russian friend of mine was telling me how it's recently come out, years later, how a plane crash over there was caused by the pilot letting his son take over. So if you find your journey disturbed by an annoying kid, think yourself lucky they're not up front.

Lost said...

Cap'n you worry too much!

Even if you were to board a flight every day of your life, statistically it would take nineteen thousand years before you were involved in a major air incident, and even then the probability is that you would survive!

The repeated exposure to high altitude radiation will probably get you fist...

Enjoy your flights :)

Lost

Road_Hog said...

"I do believe auto pilot is on for most of the flight but that doesn't for allow any case of things going wrong where manual pilot intervention would be required."

That is true and it is also the problem. The pilots have nothing to do most of the time, so their brain shuts down. A bit like driving on a motorway at night when it's empty, that's when your head starts to dip. The other problem is that the pilots don't actually 'fly' the plane anymore, so when they have a situation that requires their intervention, they're not actually well practiced in flying the plane.

"A Russian friend of mine was telling me how it's recently come out, years later, how a plane crash over there was caused by the pilot letting his son take over."

That's no secret, it's been well known for years.

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C02E6DD113AF93BA1575AC0A962958260

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks all, for the comments.

I don't actually worry about flying at all. There is absolutely fuck all I can do to stop a crash happening. I just hope that I die well. I don't want to be the guy they find in the bog with his pants round his ankles....

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Phil,

Thanks for the link.

I have known about the Man Made River since 1998. I have even bid on some contracts for the telemetry. It is known as GAMRA locally. They have a couple of sections of the giant pipe that they use (by a roundabout) on the way into Benghazi. You could just about drive a land-rover through them. The diameter has to be seen to be believed.

An incredibly ambitious project.

CR.

Brian said...

@CR, Actually, if the Grim Reaper came to fetch me on a flight, I would prefer to be found in the loo with my pants around ankles - so long as there were two stewardesses in a similar state of undress in there with me. I might get on economy but I'm getting off first class.

Mac said...

Never mind the drivers, you be careful with those seat buttons...

http://media.photobucket.com/image/gary%20larson%20wings%20stay%20on%20fall%20off%20far%20side/hiiyah777/wingsye5.jpg?o=1

...and I hope you have better luck with the wine.