April 22, 2011

Off To West Africa

Gotta go do the worky thing again.

Cameroon for a week, then Lagos for ten days or so. 

Last time I was in Douala I reported back on the lizard situation. Sticking with the animal theme, I thought you would be delirious to learn that this is a daily sight:

No hi-vis jackets, no police in view, no road closures. The drovers walk alongside 'em. No goggles to protect their eyes from those vicious looking horns. It all works. They bring them down from the north to load them up at the railway sidings, (visible from my hotel room), for export to nearby countries. Oh, they make good eatin' as well. I had several steaks and a couple of burgers made from them. Very tasty.

This is NOT a daily sight:

For which I thank all the gods, both major and minor.

Seemingly, if the cows stop lactating, the only cure is to blow air into their, erm, bajingo's.

And you think your job sucks? His blows. (Or maybe it's just a cover for his peculiar sexual proclivities....)

Thankfully, I will be avoiding that wedding, and I am particularly pleased to be escaping the attendant nonsense that goes along with crap like this. Hundreds of thousands of usually normal people will line the streets to wave like tits at a pair of utter tits. And we gormless tits will pay for it all.

Try to have some fun until I return. I will try to blog but the internet connection may not be able to stand the demands I place upon it. What with the porn and everything. I should be home around the 11th May. If not, avenge my death, etc etc.

Be excellent to each other, and stuff.



Pavlov's Cat said...

Safe journey Captain

WitteringsfromWitney said...

Seconded CR, see you on your return. Oh and don't try that blowing thingy - seems to be the arse-end of all jobs.......

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks guys.

WfW, I'll give you a call when I get back. Sorry I missed you this time.


Anonymous said...

a) I can (just) remember cattle being driven between the market in town and the railway station a mile away. 1950s. The station amenities included a few pens and water troughs.

b) IIRC, that blowing thing used to be done in England, too.

William said...

Just imagine inhaling a cows fart and then lighting it!
Assuming it didn't kill you first.

As ever keep yourself safe. Who knows there might be a no fly zone over the British Isles when you get back!

JJ said...

Be careful coming back Cap'n you might be arrested for being away from this cesspit for too long.

I hope that fella cleans the shit out of his teeth before he kisses the wife.

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks all.

Next up: Toilet humour.