April 17, 2010
Planes, Trains And Automobiles
Icelandic shenanigans, pictured earlier today.
My liver screameth. It is as dry as a camel drivers flip-flop.
So I am setting off tomorrow, and with a bit of luck and a fair wind, I will arrive back in Scotland in time for the general election.
The route is pretty convoluted and I was never one for "It's the journey that counts". People who come out with shit like that only travel once every five years. I would very much like to see transportation of the Star Trek variety. You know, step into a cupboard, blink, and step out of it thousands of miles away.
Instead, I will be doing a lot of blinking, and getting nowhere fast. First leg is Tripoli to Rome. (If the plane takes off tomorrow*). Then a train to Paris. Then Paris London, and finally, London Aberdeen. Or, I may hire a car and do some of the journey avoiding a high-speed death.
*If not, I will fly from Tripoli to Malta, Malta to Madrid, then use a train or a hire car. If no planes are taking off, I will get a ferry to Malta, then a ferry from Malta to Sicily, swim from Sicily to Italy, and then up through Italy on a train or on a donkey, whichever is available. Plans are fluid. Which is handy, because my back teeth will be floating in alcohol. I may even end up in Gdansk. Or Melbourne.
Word on the street is that all those super-fast trains are jammed tighter than Talibans in a cave, so I may well be using those stop/start scenic trains. Be still, my beating heart.
Every cloud, though, has a silver lining. I estimate that I can be hammered shortly before climbing onto the train in Rome, and if I put in some effort, I can stay three sheets to the wind for most of the trip and still have time to sober up before I get to Aberdeen. Result!
If I get access to the internet along the way I will blog. I rarely have "adventure-free" travel, so it may be more interesting to read about than to actually experience. I regularly get arrested in Africa, so I wonder how the European cops will compare....
We'll see how it goes.