August 02, 2011

I Am The Bat Man

Look what the cat dragged in:

Click to enhugeulate. He is tiny. About the same size as my co little finger.

This is Brian. Brian Sexton Eight Harpic Aled Brooklyn Ranty. (To give him his full array of monikers).

His left leg is busted. I tried to shove him in the bat-hole above my office so he could rejoin the other 99 pipistrelles who live there, but he couldn't quite get into the crack, what with his game leg and all.

Not sure what to do with him now.

I am already an enemy of the state, I don't want the SSPCA on my case as well.

Updates as they happen.

UPDATE 22:43-Hurray!! Brian is now back with his buddies. I managed to shoe-horn him up the crack in the garage roof. They are now all going mental. It may be because during our short time together, I taught Brian to smoke. Or, they may just be genuinely pleased to see him.



mescalito said...

no, i am batman.

let him bite you and your get bat powers or rabies.....its your call :)

good video here ranty my friend, two police who have woke up and left the force due to their spiritual discovery, filled me with hope:

ArtCo said...

My wife would have had that thing under her DM's no matter what protection they were under. Me on the other hand Haaaaaaaaa , look after it pal.

Wolfers said...

I have a pipistrelle who flies around the garden hoovering up insects at an alarming rate. I have named mine 'Squeaky Reg'.

Unknown said...

I'm not sure if you're still caring for the poor little bat but if you are maybe some of the information on the forum here : might be helpful.

Good Luck

Captain Ranty said...


I watched that vid today. Good for them!!


Captain Ranty said...

Arty, Wolfy, Ravey,

Just did an update. I got Brian back with his mates.

Thanks for the comments and the tips!!


Amusing Bunni said...

That bat is creepy looking. At least you had him resting on a nice comfy towel before you sent him back to his mates! Now, he'll teach all the rest of them to smoke too ;-)

Captain Ranty said...


They all look a bit creepy. Little black beady eyes and razor sharp teeth.

And every time I picked him up he gave out a tremendous squeak!

He was a ballsy wee thing. I hope he makes it.


mescalito said...

good stuff ranty, he will put in a good word with batman for you :)

Angry Exile said...

[Puts on Akubra and Mick Dundee voice]

That's not a bat. This is a bat.

bollixed said...

I like the batman method.

Anonymous said...

If there is a bat group near you they would be a good point of contact.

Robert Edwards said...

Well played that man!

I know they are a bit of a shock on first acquaintance, but at least they are worth looking after. Like Owls, which I consider to be the most elegant of raptors.

If you had a choice, would you save:

A tiny bat, with sharp teeth and a bad attitude, or -

Neil Kinnock,(A tiny idiot with bad teeth and an even smaller brain.

Yes, I knew you would. Give him our best regards. Had it been a torn wing, I suppose I would have played the gloomy vet, but they are so light that hopefully he (did you sex him?) can survive...

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks for the tips and good comments.


It was my first close encounter. I will learn more about them. Since I have a 100 of them chittering away above my head I really need to know more.

I think we both know that Kinnock is doomed....

He was so tiny I was rather hoping he would recover. The "he" bit is just a guess, btw. I would have no idea how to tell the difference.

He needed some help to get home. I just helped him out a little.


Robert Edwards said...

Ya great softy! I once transplanted some bats into a barn in Devon in order to prevent a compulsory purchase order. He, he, he.

The dickheads in cheap suits, carrying clipboards, EVEN THEN WEARING HARD HATS were nonplussed.

"So, best you fuck off then..."

The barn is still standing, and the bats are still there, although it's a bit perilous after they have dined...

Anonymous said...

Robert Edwards

Like it! Use their own legislation against them.


Robert Edwards said...

It works any protected/endangered species, I'm told. So, every pond needs newts, every meadow needs Natterjack toads, slow worms, sand lizards, adders, so forth.

A giant Panda would be a bit of a stretch...