January 18, 2011

The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!

Those masters of self-control, the Kalifornians, are at it again.

Was there ever a scare that did NOT eminate from this god-forsaken hole?

Confession time: I boycotted Kalifornia, and all things Kalifornian, five years ago. The reason? It was here that the lie was born, (or regurgitated ad nauseum), about the harm of second hand smoke. Prior to knowing this I would happily prop up their wine industry by drinking as much of the stuff as my livers would cope with. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't piss on a Kalifornian if they were on fire. (They are statistically more likely to be anti-smokers as they spawn here faster, and in far greater numbers, than anywhere else on earth). It is their fault I can't have a relaxed smoke anywhere indoors these days. The University of Kalifornia shits out the most ridiculous health "studies" known to mankind. They twist, they lie, they obfuscate, they fabricate, and they lie. A lot. For money. For grants. Who knows, just maybe for the sheer thrill they get from trying to control the behaviour of others.

So it comes as absolutely no surfuckingprise that they have done it again.

They had this mega-storm back in '61 or '62 (that would be 1861 or 1862) they aren't terribly certain of the year but neverthebastardless, a disaster is coming. Soon. Maybe. Perhaps. They aren't sure exactly when. They know to the penny how much damage it will cause though. (Getting a claim in early, it looks like). How much? Only $300 Billion exactly, that's how much.

It's all very vague.

If only there was an expert to give us all the scientific evidence.

Ah, here we go:

"US Geological Survey Director, Marcia McNutt said: "The time to begin taking action is now, before a devastating natural hazard event occurs. This scenario demonstrates firsthand how science can be the foundation to help build safer communities. The ARkStorm scenario is a scientifically vetted tool that emergency responders, elected officials and the general public can use to plan for a major catastrophic event to help prevent a hazard from becoming a disaster."

Yup. I'm convinced. Head for the hills, folks! Computer says so! We need lots and lots and lots and lots of money to prepare for the disaster, even if it is only real in our hash-induced scare-mongering tiny little minds.

So, erm, where exactly will this truckload of cash come from then?

Kalifornia is bankrupt. They are sending IOU's out to people who qualify for tax rebates. They are sending IOU's to companies who provide services for the state. Their officials can still afford soft drugs though. Vishnu alone knows what these idiots were smoking before they started playing with the grown-ups' computer, but they are clearly on something. Tobacco bad, hash good, remember?

And I notice that they can still afford to pump out those ads urging people to come to Kalifornia.

"So when can you get here?", asks the Governator.

When hell freezes over Arnie, and not a minute before.



Angry Exile said...

Arguably the least free state in the Land of the Sheep and the Home of the Slave.

Lion of England in a distant Land said...

when will the the refugies from old Europe
pissin well grow up,they are so full of shit,Just the same as the fed Gov.

Captain Ranty said...

Yeah, I should have made the point that the current crop of Bansturbators, Shit-Stirrers, Fear-Mongering, World-Class Liars are the Baby Boomers.

Those ex-hippies for whom the sixties was a shag-fest while taking every illegal drug known to man. Those same "free spirits" have now become self-appointed wardens.

Farkin hypocrites. Every man jack of 'em.


Anonymous said...

Makes you wonder if the major earthquake that they keep promising will hit San Francisco is a load of bollocks too.

Nick said...

I’m sick and tired of hearing about doomsday scenarios attributed to climate change projections. I stopped watching TV, partly because of the bastardised science they promote and now it has followed me to my Yahoo homepage. I think it’s time to change that too.

The Yahoo article quotes the USGS “chief scientist”, Lucy Jones, as saying "There is also a considerable risk of wind damage to the eastern part of the state”, “"This is not just a Californian problem. There will be disruption to ports and transportation systems. The economic impact will be felt across the country." and “For a storm which can cause four times as much damage as earthquakes, Californians are less aware of risks they face from floods”

Four times as much damage as an earthquake! She’s a fucking seismologist as well.

I’m going to have a lie down.

Captain Ranty said...

Can I just ask a question here. You lot are a damn sight brighter than I am, and I am certain you can help me with this.

It may look daft at first glance but it is a theory I am thinking hard about.

Do you think there are a breed of people that actually enjoy being scared shitless?

And, do you think there are a breed of people that actually enjoy scaring the first group shitless?

Genuine question.

I worked offshore on the rigs and platforms for just over ten years. I can tell you now, whatever you may have heard to the contrary, that drilling rigs and production platforms are amongst the safest places to work. Primarily because of the survival training, partly because of the worksite inductions and continuous safety training, and partly due to common sense. Augmenting all of this are the signs. There are hundreds of signs on any rig or platform. They are everywhere.

The kicker? After a while you stop seeing them. You know they are there but you stop reading them.

That's how I am with constant (and mostly inaccurate) government reports of this threat, that danger, this terror warning or that natural calamity. All I hear instead is white noise.

It rarely takes me (or any of my blogster mates) more than ten seconds to work out that the latest scare is a load of bollocks.

The question remains: are some fear-mongering freaks merely feeding the addiction of those who want to be terminally terrified?


will said...

i cant offer any anthropological or psychological or somesuch-alogical explanation for the master slave relationship in terms of fear mongering but i would say this...
all the studies, experts, polls, reports, research etc is part of progressivism/fabianism/the left/ call it what you will - the general state control plan. its not a conspiracy theory it has been publicly trumpeted as their unashamed and avowed aim for years.
im reading liberal fascism by jonah goldberg atm and it is an insight. what the Americans call the progressive movement began calling for technocracy way back in the 1920s. they wanted to find a 'third way,' 'get beyond politics' etc. the technocracy would be an elite who 'knew best' for the workers. they publicly promoted their intent to circumvent democracy with this rule of experts. now, im an anarchist and i dont like democracy but this lot wanted to do away with it and maintain the mighty power of the authoritarian state. scary stuff. shit this fear mongering must be catching, now im at it!

NewsboyCap said...


IMHO,the terminally terrified and the fear-mongering freaks are one and the same.They both profess to know what's best for everyone,what needs to be 'done'to get everything right.And the government, police,judiciary and the 'big'businessmen will sort it out.
They understand how 'things'work,we should let them sort 'things'out.
The t/t and the f/f know every punishment available to you if you step out of line,it's almost as if they study punishments.FFS...
And you deserve to be punished,you can't question the 'top' guys,you can't just break the 'LAW' who do you think you are? We're here to get along as best we can,we don't need 'individuals' rocking the boat,we need to work together!

The nonsense above is what I've listened to for the past year or so.The f/f will tell you how to live your life and what's in store if you don't.But if offered an alternative view that they can't 'put down',they turn into the t/t, and the world is about to end.

Bill Sticker said...

Superstorm? Fie and pish to those Californian scaredy cats. Tis naught but BC's usual rainfall pattern.

It'll head north and we'll catch it on Vancouver Island and the lower mainland as usual.

Bill Sticker said...

Hang on a minute! The last 'big one' was in the 1860's? During a period when the Earth we are told was much cooler?

Kind of shoots the whole 'Global Warming causes big storms' squawking down in flames, don't it?

subrosa said...

In answer to your question of course there is Ranty. If you're permanently in a state of fear then you're thinking is serious impaired. If a large section of society is seriously impaired then there's little point in educating them to a high standard is there. Also they're physically numbed so don't feel the difference between negativity and positivity.

Social engineering.

Groompy Tom said...

It's hopeless. Their latest simulations could predict that they need $300bn to prevent cats and dogs falling from the sky - which would then naturally go around spreading fleas and rabies and eating babies - and yet the masses would still believe it.

Yes, CR. I reckon some people do actually enjoying being governed and others do gain enjoyment from governing.

Anonymous said...

I last went to San Francisco in 1995 and even then had to stand outside a bar for a smoke.
Never went back and never will again.

Angry Exile said...

"Do you think there are a breed of people that actually enjoy being scared shitless?

And, do you think there are a breed of people that actually enjoy scaring the first group shitless?"

Yes and yes, and it's been going on for thousands of years. It used to be the way religions worked - you'd convince yourself that a man with a beard who lived in the sky was always angry with what you'd done while a second man with a beard right in front of you would tell you that everything would be fine if you do what he says, all in the name of the first man with a beard. It would be, he'd assure you, all for your own good in the long run. I have no idea about the status of the first man with a beard, but the descendants of the second one have all become politicians, lobbyists and advocates. And cunts, obviously.

Jacobite said...

The only good things to come out of Kalifornia is the wine and the music, especially the Eagles.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Q. Are some fear-mongering freaks merely feeding the addiction of those who want to be terminally terrified?

A. Most definitely.
Watch the news - nothing good about it at all. Just a glum newsreader telling us about how we are ruining everything (induces guilt), how many people have died in this war, that war, this disaster, that disaster (induces a mild form of depression in the most gullible). This murder, that stabbing, this fatal fire, this terrible accident.

This item contains flash photography, so be afraid, be VERY afraid. Some may find the pictures in this report distressing. FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Weather reports provide another clue. "It's going to rain" now means that a 'Severe Weather Warning', complete with red (colour for danger) triangle is shown. "With this cold weather, don't go out, unless it's absolutely necessary" is another fine example of keeping people scared. It's subtle, but effective.

Listen to the traffic reports on the radio. This road blocked, that road jammed. Police have closed this road, blah, blah-de-fucking blah. No good news, just stuff to invoke the mini-depression.

Over Christmas and New Year the roads were quiet, and at one stage I thought that our local radio traffic reporter was going to kill himself, live, on-air due to the fact that he had good news to report.

The whole thing is about social enginnering, and keeping the populace down - mini-depressed, if you like.

....and loads of people fall for it. Every time.

So - ask yourself, "Who has control?"

I would suggest it's the state, that's who.

James Higham said...

Drink Aussie wines instead.

Snakey said...

I'm not sure there is a class of people who enjoy being shit scared rather that there is a class of people who are neurotic and the State feeds that neurosis with junk science of all available stripes.

"I have frequently seen people become neurotic when they content themselves with inadequate or wrong answers to the questions of life" (Jung,1961)

"It is said ‘neurotics make themselves miserable;those with character disorders make everyone else miserable’" (Peck, 1978)

Anonymous said...

University of Kalifornia, San Francisco, Satan Glantz's headquarters, is so bad now that the no-smoking within 30 feet of our precious buildings signs adorn every 10 feet along every building sign - and they have extended their outdoor smoking bans including into the sidewalk and streets, which are owned by taxpayers, not the university.

UCSF, University of California, School of Fascism, does not pay for Irving Street which runs directly through the middle of its precious smoke-banned campus.

In addition, UCSF police are now toting guns and driving around in black and white patrol cars, disguised to look identical to SF city police cars, and can be seen down in lower portions of the Irving and Judah Street areas where all the smoke-banned shops and cafes are doing loop-de-loops in the middle of intersections with sirens blasting only to rush back to some local donut shop and gobble down pastries in non-smoking splendour.

Who are these people who have their own armed police force driving around in black and white patrol cars, clearly OFF campus and disrupting traffic, doing unsafe manuveurs in intersections and flashing sirens and lights when they have no authority to do so.

When the next band of fascists take control, and they will, it will be ones like UCSF and their armed police force the ones going out to make sure "nobody smokes" - Prime Directive Number One, or so it seems.

That is speaking purely from eyewitness accounts, seen in person and up on their precious School of Fascism campus, which they do not own the streets, but apparently have seized control of them.

Frank Davis said...

Top of the morning, Captain. Just thought I'd repost this here from iessalb on my blog:

There's just one thing I'd like to clarify here. The hell-hole nanny California you see now and the libertine (unrestrained by convention) California Dreamin' of the 50's-60's-70's are two entirely different animals.

As I look at the names of these research grant recipients, I seriously doubt that any of them were born here circa 1950.

I don't want to come across as some kind of idiot shaved-head nativist either. I'm a libertarian first and I regard freedom of movement as an important thing. Castigating newcomers to the state is on par with castigating smokers.

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't shoot me, I'm just the piano player.

I'm also one of the 14 million out of 38 million who doesn't live in either the Bay Area or Los Angeles.

smokervoter said...

Hey Captain, I love your blog and your spirit. I'm the aforementioned iessalb, a chain-drinking, hard-smoking Wotsit-eating native Kalifornian.

Just what constitutes a Kalifornian is hard to define. The do-good, baby-boomers who have ruined this state all came here around 1970 from the eastern seaboard of the US and brought their Salem witch-burning ways with them. They all came here to "find themselves".

We smoking, drinking and easy-going natives couldn't believe our eyes or our ears at their strange stifled, anal-retentive ways. It got to be that you would go to a party and everyone was speaking a foreign language with the New Yahhhwk and Boo-waston accents. Parties without booze, too, borrrrrrinnng.

Right around 1971 I saw my first Hippie Health Food co-op store open and that was truly the beginning of the end. The vibes in the store were beyond description; fake, permanently plastered-on smiles on everyone. And the east coast accents everywhere. The produce had dirt around the roots and cost about 5 times what it cost in the supermarket. You'd go to shop at the supermarket and everyone spoke Californian again.

Needless to say, many of them stayed and make up what is now considered your basic Kalifornian. Actually I think the baby-boomers (50+ y.o.) are more likely to be the old-school natives. It's the 40 and under Nouveau Puritan spawn that are really brain-washed, brain-dead Young Fascists.

Your critique is wholly justified. Our state export of liberal fascism has spread everywhere and destroyed personal freedom the world over. I apologize. Now, may that superstorm come and scare off all the Nouveau Kalifornians and dispatch them back from whence they came.

Furor Teutonicus said...

XX Anonymous said...
and they have extended their outdoor smoking bans including into the sidewalk and streets, which are owned by taxpayers, not the university.XX

Same happens here (Berlin). I was at a building for an exam. In the break between the two parts we ent down for a pipe (in my case) break.

We stood on the pavement. Then this fucking wanker in an army and Navy second hand Japanese Admirals uniform, with "Japanese Navy" crossed out, and "Security written on inRed crayon, told us it was not allowed to smoke there.

Now....you just do NOT tell 15 German Coppers, even when they are "off duty", what the law is.

So, the twat rang the police, not knowing who we were.

His face was a fucking PICTURE when the Coppers that arrived joined us for a smoke of their own before "putting him right" on the intricacies of "Public" and Private" land.