March 16, 2012

Friday Fail-Police Edition

Just got in from work to find a Notice of Intended Prosecution for speeding.

Before you all shout "Not again, Ranty!", I should point out a few anomalies.

1. At the time of the offence, (06:56 AM) I was creasing the sheets.

2. The conveyance "named" in the NIP was parked in my driveway.

3. The offence took place over 335 miles away in Bradford. (I am 50-odd miles north of Aberdeen).

4. Having followed the link in the NIP, and having examined the photographic evidence, I see that the conveyance involved is dark blue or black.

5. My conveyance is very light blue. Grey, almost.

6. The conveyance involved is a three door hatch.

7. My conveyance is a four door saloon.

I have tried to contact the West Yorkshire rozzers but they knock off early on Fridays. Either someone else has the same number plates or their camera is on the fritz.

Oh, and I won't be filling in this form either. Nowhere on the form is there a space for me to explain that they have the wrong guy. It simply assumes guilt.

I'll give them a call on Monday.

Have a great weekend all.



Captain Ranty said...

Thanks Andrew.

Trouble is, if I do nothing they will send nasty men to my house again.


Tarka the Rotter said...

This happened to me Captain - I got a letter from the Lancashire Constabulary saying a speed camera had caught me doing 38 mph in a 30 mph zone in Lancaster at 7.30 one evening last year. I have never been to Lancaster in my entire life. I wrote a letter to the Chief Constable and said his equipment was faulty. Two weeks later I got a full letter of apology from the Chief Constable who said one of the letters on the reg plate had been recorded incorrectly.

Pete said...

They're coming to take you away ahaaaa!

Anonymous said...

Aha, angels in disguise, this is the second time they have done it, isn't it.

Katabasis said...

"Nowhere on the form is there a space for me to explain that they have the wrong guy. It simply assumes guilt."

- Such is the Kafkaesque nightmare that only seems to worsen on a weekly basis.

Have you seen the latest offensive EAW farce described over at Anna's place?

Woodsy42 said...

"its not your problem to sort out"

But that's the thing about this pseudo non-justice Andrew. It IS your problem because guilt is assumed - cameras never lie, databases never have errors and nobody uses false plates. Most likely it will also stay on CR's record even if they are convinced it's an error and take it no further.

The Filthy Engineer said...

Write them a letter and itemise the disparities and send it recorded delivery. That establishes an undeniable evidence chain.

James Higham said...

They have it in for you.

Kermits middle finger said...

Let them come,

Then just give them the NIP,
point out your car,
tell them to check the differences,
give them a copy of a Specsavers advert,
and follow it up with a hearty....

"Now get the fuck off my property" !

Pete said...

Been decorating my kitchen all night, nearly finished it, opened a beer and read Kermit's comment, cheers ya muppet I just spat my beer and it also ran down my nostrils lol, great laugh, cheers m8.

Captain Ranty said...

I have a picture of the car doing the speeding.

Try as I might, I just cannot make out the numbers on the plate.

God alone knows how the police managed it. If this is the quality of their images it's a wonder thousands more don't tell them to fuck off.


dak said...

When this happened to me, my car was flagged in Camden, but the letter was sent to my address in Lanarkshire.

At that time I was living in Luxembourg, the car was wearing Lux plates and had been removed from the DVLA register some time beforehand.


Dr Evil said...

I'm looking forward to hearing about the fruits of your phone call.

Captain Ranty said...


See latest post for an update.