August 24, 2010

West Africa Beckons

Blogging will be a little light for the next five weeks or so.

First, I are going here:
















(Ranty's office in Lagos. The building with the "holes")


Then, I are going here:












(You can't quite make it out, but the office bar is along here somewhere. Takoradi, Ghana)

I will be mostly drinking this:









(It tastes like penguin piss, but it gets you where you're going).

I have a few posts lined up, and if anything interesting/odd/dangerous happens, I'll blog about that.

Usual instructions: If I do not return, avenge my death, etc etc.

Stay well,

CR.

27 comments:

RantinRab said...

Have a good trip my friend!

Haste ye back, (or something).

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks Rab.

The trick is to come home complete, and disease free.

I have managed it so far....:)

CR.

Frank Davis said...

Going anywhere near Gambia? I used to live there too once.

RantinRab said...

Much like visiting Paisley then?

Gordon the Fence Post Tortoise said...

Bring a brolly!

Just a reminder it's... dang, you guessed - the rainy season.

microdave said...

Were those holes made by the missiles going in, or coming out??

Have fun, and report back if it looks like a suitable retreat from ever greater EU legislation!

Captain Ranty said...

Frank,

Never been to the Gambia. I've "done" 32 out of the 54 African nations. I want to nail them all before I pop me clogs.

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Rab,

I am the one in ten. (One of the half-million English peeps in Scotland). Far be it for me to cast aspersions on the awe-inspiring Paisley. But, yes. Yes. You are quite right.

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Gordon,

I have that to look forward to. Driving through streets like rivers. Water halfway up the car. Finding a dry bit so that you can disembark and keep something dry.

The drive from Accra to Takoradi is always exciting. Sometimes the bridges are still there, and other times....well, you know how that ends.

Hey, at least it's warm rain. :)

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Dave,

Not sure how the holes were made.

If I were to guess I'd say they just ran out of concrete.

And erm, Lagos has never been a city to run TO, if you get my drift.

Accra is a different prospect. I could settle there.

CR.

Witterings From Witney said...

CR, Was taken out to Takoradi by my parents in 1945 aged 3, straight after WWII, also lived Accra, Sekondi and Kumasi. Went Lagos once. Came home to boarding school at 11, but did go back a couple of times on holiday.

Takoradi don't seem to have changed much!

And yes - can remember their beer, my Father was an expert on putting it away!

Captain Ranty said...

WfW,

Never been to Kumasi.

Last time I was in Takoradi a farmer had killed his neighbour. For his PLOUGH! When the cops got to his house, he was stir-frying his neighbours nuts. He said they would bring him strength. He was put away for a long time. (He'd already fried up and eaten the dead guys todger, so they got him for cannibalism as well).

CR.

Witterings From Witney said...

CR, given the opportunity - the tales I could tell you of Colonial Gold Coast as was Ghana before Nkrumah!

Next time you fancy a beer - a decent one that is, or a scotch or two/three/four?

Captain Ranty said...

Sounds good to me!

Gordon the Fence Post Tortoise said...

CR - yeah - deliberate understatement there :-)

Given the state of the roads in Lagos / Nigeria this time of the year one of Rinspeed's offerings seems a fun way of getting around. Although one of these would I suppose be more appropriate for Nigerian road conditions.

I've found it a lot easier / healthier to get around Lagos by boat where possible anyway.

Captain Ranty said...

Gordon,

I often use the ferries when the traffic is very bad. It can save hours.

The infamous "go slows" drive me batty.

I liked both of your suggestions. One is too expensive and the other will be stolen within seconds...

Scrub that. BOTH would be nicked.

CR.

Dioclese said...

Are you taking your own gun and flak jacket or renting one when you get there?

Gordon the Fence Post Tortoise said...

Yep - the magpie tendencies of many Nigerians leads me often to count my fingers after a handshake.

Sitting in Lagos traffic sometimes makes me think suicide by exhaust pipe and vacuum cleaner hose isn't a thing that would work for me.

I think if you had one of these in Lagos - you wouldn't have to buy any fuel ;-/

Gordon the Fence Post Tortoise said...

Oops - should have said an arrangement like this

Paul said...

You can buy Star in Booths. I can indeed reiterate the way that this tastes of cat piss.

Don't they sell Guinness Foreign Extra where you are, Captain Ranty? They brew it in Nigeria. 7.5%. Does the fucking job alright. Very sweet.

Numerous bottles of Guinness FES and dark, dark skirt. Mmmm.

Captain Ranty said...

Dioclese,

I just wear intercontinental underpants for when the nice Nigerian copper shoves his AK in my face and demands a bribe.

The Lagos Lads are pussycats compared to the cops.

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Paul,

The problem with Star is that there is no quality control. One night you can sink five and get home and remember everything. The next night you can drink the same amount and feel like you have been on a four-day bender. Sometimes it is 5% then all of a sudden it is 9%.

I knew they brewed Guinness but I have never tried it. Guinness makes me sing.

No-one deserves that.

Not even my worst enemies.

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Gordon,

I know what you're saying.

They'll steal your eyeballs and come back for the sockets.

That is a nifty invention! Looks like it is around 20 years old. (The idea, I mean). Very clever.

CR.

John said...

I was told in Abidjan that the biggest Guinness factory (swamp?) in the world was in Kenya? Also my local guide/pimp thought I was an uphill gardener 'cos apparently it's a girl's drink in Ivory Coast.

richard said...

There's bound to be more good-looking women than in Minnigaff (ie more than zero.)And no midges. Should be nice to visit a free country for a while too. Bon Voyage!

Captain Ranty said...

John,

I think you are right. It's been years since I was in Kenya.

Real men in Cote D'Ivoire drink battery acid.

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Richard,

Lots of good lookin' women. No midges, but there are plenty of mozzies riddled with malaria.

I have begun my medication. Gin & tonic. Intravenously.

CR.