November 13, 2011


The police are full of shit.

They send out threatening letters. "Fill in the form or we will fine you £1,000!" I send the form back, as blank as it was when it arrived. Their response? Dispatch Bodie & Doyle. Bodie & Doyle arrive, unannounced, on a Saturday morning. B&D offer to take me to the station. Not their station, but one that is a 96 mile round trip away. I say yes. They decline my acceptance of their offer. They go away.

Then? Nothing.

Then? More nothing.

Finally, yesterday morning I get a letter. I am in Cameroon so I can't open it. I ask Mrs Ranty to do the honours.

No £1,000 fine. No court date. Just "Pay us £60 and show your license at a station of your choosing within 30 days, if not, we will prosecute".

I will do neither. I will send them a notice when I get home in early December and I will make the £60 go away, and I will not be showing anyone anything within 30 days. I may even counter-claim for the trouble they put me to.

"We will prosecute". Really? You already had the opportunity to prosecute but didn't. What makes you think that this new threat will terrify me? "Let's do it", I will say. And they will find a way for it not to happen. They may send more letters but maybe not, not when I explain how much my notices to them are going to cost. I know from experience that as soon as you mention that you want money off them, they go quiet. HMRC went all quiet. The Census folks went all quiet. It's all they have: ignorance.

Are you guys feeling the power of "No" yet?

It is a stunning device. Easy to master, and all you have to do is aim correctly.

It. Works. Every. Single. Time.

I am bereft though. I really did want to go to court. I have been boning up. My opening speech was designed to rock their world. Ah well. I will get the chance to go and do my thang in court at some point in the future.

I hope so, anyway.

Something tells me that they really, really don't want me there.

Vive la rebellion!



SBC said...

"I am in Cameroon"

Someone please tell me that I wasn't the only one to have misread that sentence...

..there were tears in my i.

Captain Ranty said...


Perhaps I should edit it to say Douala.

Unless you misread and thought "He's in Missus Cameroon"....


karlos said...

Haahhahaa - kick to kill mein capitan.

Captain Ranty said...



But I am here to educate, not eliminate!!


Severina said...

Happy to see some Lions left in UK, was beginning to think all were sheep. Sev x

Captain Ranty said...


The trouble is that this lion is getting old and flabby. We need the New Lions. The young ones. The ones with good teeth and a loud roar.

Angry, young lions.

They have the power, and the stamina, to fix this mess.


Dick Puddlecote said...

Interesting development. I await the next one with interest, Cap'n. :)

Captain Ranty said...


I remain convinced that I won this spat with my first volley back in September.

I think another missive is required to hammer home that fact.

It won't be until I get home, sadly.

CR. *champing at the bit*

mescalito said...

nice one ranty my friend, keep up the good work.

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks Mescy.


SBC said...

Innuendos about your sexuality aside;details are required. D.E.T.A.I.L.S.

Just saying 'No' is no doubt admirable and self liberating but I doubt that it is just a case of a single utterance.

I suspect 'No' really entails bits of notarized paper concerned with arcane legal distinctions- which may or may not be valid and that I am,frankly, not capable of understanding...'legal fiction' are the Rumpole novels as far as I know.

Explain/scan/show what a 'No' is and how it works...if it has ever worked. Then one of the things that bugs me somewhat about this whole FOTL/LR 'thang' is the fact that there seems to be very little proof of it working....I haven't found many accounts of people saying that it has worked for them.

btw I'm not trying to be a dick-I just naturally sound this way.

James Higham said...

I suspect 'No' really entails bits of notarized paper concerned with arcane legal distinctions ...

Yes, I'd be interested in that.

Severina said...

Allo SBC, l understand l think you're point of view. I see on N2D that SH & Zaphod do exactly what you request. Sorry for my English, it is not what should be. x

Severina said...

CR, l cannot find young lions in England :(

Captain Ranty said...


I have written about the "how" more times than Soft Mick.

Have a ferret around in the archives here and you will find instructions aplenty.

If you want immunity (like wot I have) from statutes, you need to let Madge know you have entered Lawful Rebellion. Your two affidavits do not need to be Notarised, three witnesses (to your autograph, not your statements) are needed.

The first Affidavit takes 40 days to cure, the second takes 10 days. Lastly, you need to swear your allegiance to the Barons Committee of 2001 and then you are bulletproof.

You want proof? Find and read any article here concerning the Taxman. I have £5K of theirs. Today's article is proof in itself: they wanted £1,000 if I didn't fill a form in. I didn't fill it in and I still have my £1,000.

There are other examples littering my archives.

Read, learn, do.

It really is a piece of cake.


Captain Ranty said...


They are here. They just aren't angry enough yet.

They will get angry soon enough.


Captain Ranty said...


You, too, must have seen my previous posts on this.

Surely you haven't missed the ones containing the details on "How To"?


SBC said...

"I see on N2D that SH & Zaphod do exactly what you request."

Uhm no. SH & Zaphod are very much their own men and I have no influence over them. They sometimes follow my suggestions or consider them at least but that's all. I have much less experience than them at fighting the UKBA but I do have a lot of experience fighting the System so sometimes I can make helpful suggestions.

SBC said...

"You want proof? Find and read any article here concerning the Taxman. I have £5K of theirs."

I assume you mean the posts about Working Tax Credit? You did a great job there but your 'defence' had very little to do with the FOTL/LR did it? You just basically did what we all do and stood up for your rights and that with some panache.

You didn't tell them to write to your Legal Fiction/send them a no contract etc etc

So, sorry, that incident doesn't really proof much does it...beyond the fact that you're the Citizen from Hell who isn't prepared to be a milk cow.

Captain Ranty said...


No, I was referring to the corporation tax I owed them. The working tax credit thing is still not over with. Although they have gone awfully quiet on the subject.


SBC said...

"No, I was referring to the corporation tax I owed them. "

Ahh, my bad. Sorry. I simply put the term 'taxman' into the blogger search function-which is pretty hopeless at the best of times-and then read, or rather reread, the Working Tax Credits piece.

I'll delve a bit more.

However you might, when time allows, consider putting in some side bar links to various 'basic' articles you have written as wading through the archives is a bit of a pain.

Captain Ranty said...

No apologies needed SBC.

Blogger is not the best when it comes to searching, and I am not savvy enough to put those links in the sidebar. I am moving house soon to Wordpress. Hopefully things will be better there. This blog is very cluttered.


Ampers said...

@Severina said...
Happy to see some Lions left in UK,

He used to live in Sith Ifrica for a while, some of our 'dating do' must have rubbed off on him :-)

Mines an Imoya, Captain!


Anonymous said...


Interesting... Tempting as it may be to look at it as a "counter offer to your counter-offer" following initial victory, it could also merely be stage 2 of this particular round of Corporate Revenue Collection.

Do they not send these NIPs & S172 notices out first, with "speeding" cases leading either to summons or conditional offer FPNs coming afterwards once the "driver" (yes, I know...) has been identified? This may explain the £60 mentioned in the letter.

Presumably, because you neglected to act as a scared little sheep would and declined to fill out their silly form, they sent Bodie & Doyle round to get the info; before they left, Cop 1 did say "We have all we need", did he not? And who knows what was in that notebook, and what they did afterwards...?

Now, this obviously need not change anything in respect of what you're going to do :-D (and does seem like a bit of a waste of effort on their part), but it may be the place your opponent is currently "at", if you get what I mean (unless I have misunderstood).

And of course it means they have ignored everything else that you have said or sent up to now, which is unsurprising...



Captain Ranty said...


The last lions I saw in the flesh were those big red Kalahari lions. They were very impressive.

I have your Imoya right in front of me. I shall toast you when I neck it.

Mooi bly,


Captain Ranty said...


Yes, I know. It must be very confusing for them when one of us goes off the reservation.

The NIP was very new to me. I had not heard of them before. I particularly disliked the threatening language. Hell, I don't like the threats at all. Either do it or don't.

I hear what you are saying and I don't doubt that is the case. This may be their usual M.O.

I'll find out when I get back home in a couple of weeks. I'll send them a new notice and try (again) to let them know that they need to treat me differently.

Confidence is high. I will make this go the way of the dodo.

Failing that, start baking. Ensure that the cakes are big enough to conceal a 12" bastard file.


SBC said...

CR, found the first article about the corporation tax, i think, with the penguins but couldn't find the updates. A link would be great when you have time or at least the title so the search will find it. Thanks-SBC

Captain Ranty said...


I think this is all of them. You might want to arrange them in date order.

I have heard absolutely nothing from them since September 2010.


SBC said...

Thanks CR, I 'preciate the help.

However after a first read I can't see any 'proof' (for want of a better term) that your 'thang' works.

Not wanting to piss on your parade but all you've achieved so far-no mean feat in its self btw- is to fuck up HMRC's the point where your file has worked its way to the bottom of the pile.... to sit in abeyance until such time as someone can be arsed to deal with it.

But deal with it they no doubt will and you may yet wake up one morning with Bubba From The Top Bunk trying to widen not just your understanding of the law.

You haven't had a piece of paper from HMRC saying 'You were right, we were wrong. Sorry to have bothered you'. You haven't had a high court judge rule in your favour and on your arguments. That's what I mean by 'proof'. A certified 'win'.

You've done the legalese equivalent to filing your tax returns in ancient Etruscan (btw i think that is now illegal). Every case worker at HMRC will simply pass your file on and hope that it is someone else's problem.

Don't get me wrong, my gut feeling is that legally you're in the right but that has never stopped TPTB-especially when they want money from us.

Remember back when the Poll Tax came in? All those clever people who formed groups like 'The Ancient Worshipful Northern Cornish Weasel Buggerers And Stoat Worriers' and thus thought themselves legally freed of paying it? Chances are they were legally in the Right too. Didn't interest TPTB at all...they let it fuck up the system for a while and then just rode roughshod over the law and their rights.

NB. I use 'law','legal','statute' in the commonly understood way. I know to a FMOTL there are major distinctions etc.

NB #2 * SBC is still trying not to sound like a total cunt*

Captain Ranty said...


I do not honestly think I will ever get a letter from HMRC saying, "You know what old son, you are right. We will fuck off and bother you no more". Because if they did, I would share it with the 30- to 40,000 readers I get here every month. It would be around the UK in no time at all and then? Then HMRC are completely fucked. The whole house of cards will collapse. They rely on drones. They need us to be Borg. I was once One of Sixty Million. I am now One of Seven Hundred Thousand. Our tribe grows larger by the week.

However, there is in law, a maxim that says "He who does not disagree, agrees", and "Silence gives consent", and a whole heap of others just like them.

They have been silent for the last 14 months. Now, I know, (just like you probably do) that there is a statute of limitations. They have seven years, or at least, they did last time I looked. BUT, if they cannot fix my wagon in 14 months, what makes you think they will suddenly fix it before the seven years are up? And, what will have changed? Nothing at my end.

I have won. They just don't know how/don't wish to inform me of the fact. I only wish more people would do this. The earth keeps spinning on its axis, and there are no dawn raids. My fear has long since evaporated.

BTW, I appreciate the challenges. You do NOT sound like a cunt and you are right to ask the questions you have asked. Three things about this blog you can rely on:

1. I have told no lies

2. I have never deleted a comment (unless asked, or unless it was spam)

3. I ooze confidence because I know I have them by the short & curlies.

My arse is covered to the Nth degree. They know that, but they are slow to accept it.

But look, what use is a court judgment to me? The judiciary is the Crown is the government is the monarch. I have waved bye-bye to all of them. They have no power over me. Not whilst I am in Lawful Rebellion. Their "judgements" would be worthless to me.

The only reason I want a court scrummage is so that they learn to leave me the fuck alone.


Anonymous said...


No £1000 fine for not filling in their Census.

Kissed goodbye to £46k of alleged debt, legally using several methods.

No works for me and I need no agreement from any f#cker!

They know we're onto them, I have been invited to explain my methods to tptb - so far I have declined.

I found this stuff out for myself. I will share it with anyone who is willing to make the effort.

Be well,


Anonymous said...


I for one would love it if you shared your methods/ links etc... I am currently preparing to "get off the grid" so to speak and want to arm myself with as much info as I can get my hands on before I make the final leap.

Cpt, Just reading your endeavours with her maj's thieving bastards cheers me up. Keep up the good work because I find it more entertaining than anything the propaganda pushers put on the evil cyclopes that the sheeple seem to be hypnotized by. I can honestly say since I stopped watching TV and started to read, my life has taken a significant turn for the better.

This Lion is just sharpening his teeth and working on his roar and it's good people like yourselves that keep me going.

Thanks and peace


SBC said...

"No £1000 fine for not filling in their Census.

Kissed goodbye to £46k of alleged debt, legally using several methods."

Neither or those things 'prove' your 'thang' works. Thousands of us 'kiss goodbye' to debt each year by simply not acknowledging it and waiting for it to become Statute Bar'd (don't try it people though if your house is secured against a loan). No strawman required.

Thousands too refused to fill in the Census and haven't, yet, been fined..with out having to resort to legal hair splitting about the difference between a 'person' and a 'living breathing Soul'.

Like I said; I'm not trying to be a cunt about it but so far I really don't see much 'proof' that the whole 'thang' works or is anything more than fucking up the system to the point where TPTB simply ignore you.

Anonymous said...

CR, I know you know that I know your 'thang' works, whatever that means.

You got a mention a couple of weeks ago at the brotherhood gathering to say goodbye to a dear friend.

The stuff we do is 'NOT' to win as is been asked, it is to, and I quote
"and they, the twenty-five Barons, with the community of the whole land, shall distress and harass us by all the ways in which they are able; that is to say, by the taking of our castles, lands, and possessions, and by any other means in their power, until the excess shall have been redressed, according to their verdict; saving harmless our person, and the persons of our Queen and children; and when it hath been redressed, they shall behave to us as they have done before.

To WIN is not a correct way to put it, and who can prove that what we are doing works when it is designed to 'distress and harass'.
Those that do not have the kahoonas to do this stuff should leave it to those that do and stop interfering with the progress we are making. The distraction to have to explain this simple principal is time consuming and tiresome, it has to be done but those that constantly require proof just don't get it. Sorry to all if this sounds condescending but what CR and a lot of us are doing has been worked out by us individually and by meeting and campaigning as well as being able to trust those that one is with until the penny drops. Sat at a desk and reading anything is sitting at a dest and reading it aint real it is reading while sat at a desk.
Those that wish to get to know what it is all about and what does work and what doesn't has to DO it or speak with those that have and accept that what they get in return is the answer.
This legal stuff is complicated even to the judges, no one can expect the like of us to explain it, it cannot happen, one has to read the law and apply it and see what happens.
like I say, Kahoonas. A few fines and a few ccj's along the way ARE par for the course.
Namste, rev;
CR hurry up and get back to the cold you lucky B, and bring some rays back with you. :-)

Anonymous said...

"Germany is dominating Europe"

Political Puppetry in the Eurozone:

SBC said...

"no one can expect the like of us to explain it, it cannot happen"

Actually we, the cajones-less (isn't kahoona a mispelt mythical burger?), have every right to expect CR to explain it when he exhorts us to 'Just Say NO'- and there's an ill fated slogan if ever there was one.

"A few fines and a few ccj's along the way ARE par for the course"

Exactly, so let's not be having any more nonsense about 'It. Works. Every. Single. Time.'.

"To WIN is not a correct way to put it, and who can prove that what we are doing works when it is designed to 'distress and harass'."

Rebellion is to win and what you do, according to CR's latest post, is rebellion or revolution not 'distress and harass'.

Actually the more I read about this 'thang' the more I get the impression that it is actually more a faith than anything else- perhaps a form of Ur-anglicanism? Certainly both you and CR speak in those terms...(let's not mention V:C's writings.)

Nothing wrong with it being a faith as such-it's probably more valid than most and I will continue to take "Test all things; hold fast that which is good."-as the good book tells us. The LR/FMOTL 'thang' has thrown up some useful and interesting stuff that is of use to those of us underendowed in the testes department.

Captain Ranty said...


You seem to be looking for a silver bullet.

When I first got into this I was convinced that I would find one, and more importantly, tell everyone all about it.

I now know that I was naive to imagine such a bullet existed. The govt would not admit to all the stuff I write about here, not in a million years.

And I stand by my words: it HAS worked every single time for me.

What I can't do is provide an embossed certificate from a high court judge saying so.

One crude answer from me would be "Ether shit or get off the pot". Try it out. In a controlled fashion. If you think you will lose then pay what you "owe" and back away.

I think long and hard before I even get dressed for battle. I win it before I (metaphorically) step onto the battlefield.

I have not lost a fight yet. The day may come, but I will consider the wound worth it.

It won't stop me in my tracks though.


SBC said...

"it HAS worked, so far, every single time for me."

Might be a better way of phrasing it.

"I have not lost a fight yet" Don't think, from I've seen here, you've 'won' one yet though...more skirmished them into abeyance/fought them to stand-still.

And it was my sure and certain knowledge that there are no 'silver bullets' in this life that led me to question your somewhat sanctimonious exhortations to 'say NO' (as if your readership were a bunch of 80's school kids and not adults-some of whom have been 'rebelling' and fighting the man since their balls dropped/breasts grew).

Captain Ranty said...



Now you DO sound like a cunt.

And so what if I ripped off an 80's phrase? It serves my purpose and it describes exactly what I am doing.

I'll try to word my articles in a way that covers all the bases, shall I? I'll shove in all those 'get out of jail free' words like may, could, should, might and perhaps. Will that make you any happier?

I still have over 10K of the "governments" money. I call that a fucking slam dunk.

You call it whatever pleases you.


Anonymous said...

Okay, SBC tell us what it is ,exactly, you have done to deserve to use the hard won and many hours in the dead of night reading and researching that 'The LR/FMOTL 'thang' has thrown up some useful and interesting stuff that is of use to those of us underendowed in the testes department.'
What you may have used or find useful is because of the likes of CR. His tireless letter writing and the research done, his informative feedback on his encounters and the 'KNOCKS' on the door, successfully rebutted. CR has NO fear and neither do I. YET, when they comne a knocking on your door for some innocuous reason, something you neglected or forgot and they have you by the short and curlies, 'WHO Ya gonna call'?
The information is here and everywhere for you to use at NO cost and no strings attached, however there are also NO guarantees. WE are just as 'in the dark' as you but we are doing something about it.
COCK on block not just critisising about whether it works 100% or not.
I believe if it works 50% of the time it is a success over what it USED to be like.
We the LR/FMOTL 'THANG' are not only dipping our toes we are getting wet.
You should try it some time.

Namaste, rev;

Captain Ranty said...

Well said Phil.

The easiest job in the world? Being a critic.

Sitting on the sidelines, sniping, is neither big nor clever.

Do it, dude. Or fuck off. And when you get there, fuck off again.

This shit isn't easy, and the "proof" you demand will probably never be forthcoming.

Do it.

Or keep reaching south for your ankles.

Pioneers are always vilified. They are never thanked.

You can thank me, and my friends, later.


Anonymous said...

You are a HERO in my eyes CR and I look forward to meeting you at the manor some time soon.

Yes you do have a following there and you will certainly be welcome, I am sure.

I look forward to listening to your stories and discussing other things too.
Namaste, Brother you are one among those who are worthy to be called Brother.