October 27, 2011


Tomorrow, 75% of the denizens of Ranty Barracks will decamp.

We are leaving No 1 son in charge of the house, the two dogs and the cat. With a fair wind, the barracks may still be intact when we come back.

We trudge south, to the heady delights and temptations of Manchester to celebrate the 50th birthday of Ma Ranty's oldest chum.

I have this particular milestone to look forward to in January.

All of the above is my way of saying that blogging will be anorexic until we return next week. Please treat this as an open thread to discuss worldly matters of great import anything you damn well please. Mi casa is zu casa and all that.

Couple of updates:

1. That speeding thing.

Nothing. Nothing at all. The alleged "offence" ocurred on 23 September. Their paperwork arrived 5 days later and it was explicit: the whole thing will be over within 30 days. Tomorrow is day 30. Apart from that Saturday morning visit by Bodie and Doyle, nothing else has happened. I fully expected to have a summons delivered to me. No joy.

2. That Sky/DCA thing

Those leeches at the DCA said that they would "acknowledge receipt of my email within an hour". That was 14 days ago. They did attempt to call me but when I answered the phone, all I heard was some ridiculous automated voice asking me if I was Reeeantyiearghoohow. The robot seriously mangled my surname and then asked me to pick one of three options, the third of which was "Press 3 if you do not recognise this name". I genuinely didn't, so I pressed 3 and hung up. No letters or calls since then. They may not yet have gotten the message that for them, the well is dry. If they call me again my fee schedule kicks in.

3. That energy scam thing.

I showed you all the letter wot I wrote. They have since sent three missives: the first apologised for the long delay in replying, the second was much longer but said nothing and did not answer any of the questions I had asked, and the third (received today) was to inform me that they had revised the estimate. Upwards. They now want just over £2,900 off me between now and this time next year. They have so far declined to check the accuracy of the meter. I may get it checked independently. Something is seriously amiss here. The national average, (for those on electric only) is somewhere around £1,100 per year. Which indicates that I am paying for two other families to heat and light their homes. It may be that the Greeks have tapped into my supply. I must check the cabling....

So, that's me. Play nice while I am away. If I get access to a PC or laptop in Manchester I will chip in. If not, spend some quality time checking out the Awkward Sods on the right hand side. That should keep your blood boiling nicely until we troop north again.

Yer old pal,



DAD said...

It is not the Greeks who have tapped into you power supply: it is the Irish Grandad !


Have a goodd break in Manchester (if that is possible)

Live an 'Achievable Life' said...

Have a good one Cat'n I will be at the Manor. Doing the usual.

Namaste, rev; (phil;)

Sukyspook said...

Please give my love to 'Mad'chester where I had my first job at 16...for the guvmint funnily enough lol.

Timely as always - this from pal in Oz today re electrickery - there's a lot of it abaht!:


God bless; enjoy; you'll be missed and hope you're able to access a pooter - if they have them in Manchester yet ;o).


Captain Ranty said...


I saw that. The cheeky bastard.

Manchester isn't as bad as I make it out to be.

I just don't like big cities any more.

Thanks all the same!


Captain Ranty said...



And don't stop doing what you do Rev, otherwise I may have to call in on you!

Be well,


Captain Ranty said...

Hi Suke!

Is this your maiden post here? I am more used to seeing you in Twitterland.

Thanks for the good wishes, and the link!

I liked this bit:

"According to Senator Nick Xenophon “this could be one of Australia's biggest consumer rip-offs, unless we sort this out, immediately.”"

(What a great surname).

And I happen to now think that British providers are at it as well.

The average use for a three bedroomed house is around 6000Kw.

My detailed bill came in today and it says I used.....drum roll....32,000Kw. And that includes the summer months!!!!

Not right, is it?

I'll try to find a PC at mine hosts house.


Caratacus said...

Have a good time in Manchester, Cap'n :)

Be careful there though; God put his hand down once to give the canal a bit of a stir. When he pulled his hand back, he said, "Aahh Bollocks". St. Peter, alarmed, came running over, "Whatever's the matter, Master?". God snarled, "Some bastard's nicked me Rolex.."

And soon to enter your sixth decade ... heh heh heh :-) Welcome, young man.

nisakiman said...

50? Kids stuff. Anyway, you'll find the decades get easier to deal with. You start to treat them like the ravings of a lunatic. "Wot? 60? Don't be so bloody ridiculous! You're obviously totally insane."

"According to Senator Nick Xenophon “this could be one of Australia's biggest consumer rip-offs, unless we sort this out, immediately.”"

(What a great surname).

Interestingly, the name appears to be a combination of two Greek words - ξένος (xenos), which means 'stranger', and φόνος (fonos), which means 'murder'.

Food for thought! :¬))

Stealthy said...

Have fun Captain! :)

andy5759 said...

Where's the likker cabinet? Is there any change down the back of the settee? Oh, alright - we'll treat the place with respect while you are away. Safe journey.

Gordon the Fence Post Tortoise said...

Cap'n on that leccy meter - if you suspect it's wonky, don't whatever else you do - let it out of your sight!

I made the mistake a few years back of trusting the leccy company - assholes - thay came and replaced a meter that was spinning 1.8 times as fast as it should (it most certainly was - I know how to test these things and have the calibrated kit to do the measurement an order of magnitude better than the spinning ally disc)

The man in van said it'd be sent for a calibration - a month later and a follow up call and letter and - they'd "misplaced" it.....

This happened to another family near me too - gotta believe it's "policy" - can't have the punters getting uppity I suppose.

DAD said...

If you do not obtain satisfaction from your Electricity Company then make a formal complaint to OFFER (Office of Electrical Regulation. (That was the name when I left the UK 15 years ago.)
The Electricity Companies hate this as it is recorded against them and will be persued by OFFER until satisfaction is obtained. In your next communication with the Electricity Company ask for OFFER address (they used to based at Birmingham)

Go on! you know that you will enjoy the battle.

PS A google search shows that OFFER is now Office of Gas and Electricity Markets (OFGEM)


Span Ows said...

Enjoy the break! I'm the big five 0 in August.

James Higham said...

Dangerous time - hope you survive.

DAD said...

Bonjour Capt.

Interesting programme on BBC radio 4 today about complaints to the Electricity Companies. You and Yours - 12h00 to 1300; listen about 15 minutes in. The OFGEM ombudsman was intervied. If your complaint is not satisfactorly sorted in 8 weeks you have the right to call on him to resolve the situation. His address is (or should be) on the rear of you bill.

I still think that it is worthwhile on your next communication to ask the Elect Co for his address. They know then that you mean business.

Mick said...

Capt Ranty,

You're my kind of ranty bugger, love reading your blog. Have a good time in 'MonkeyLand', I look forward to your blog when you get back.

(from Herefordshire, probably the most corrupt county in England (Well the county council for sure))

PS. We still smoke in our local pub