May 07, 2010

Fat Lady Sings

She just isn't singing a song we all wanted to hear.

With 20-30 results still to come in it is clear that we have a hung parliament. As predicted by the exit polls. What is also clear is that Gordon Brown must go. More than 2 million of us (quite apart from the massive swing to the Tories) said so. Well, I guess that prediction (that Gorgon will lose his fingernails on the way out of No 10) is also shaping up to be true. He clings on with a grip that would put genital warts to shame.

What next?

We wait, I suppose. Deals will be considered, and discarded. Cleggy has stepped up and said that the party with the most seats should govern. That looks sensible from where I'm sitting, but there is still an 18 stone, one-eyed obstacle in the way. After his petulance, and his whining to Tiny Blur, he finally got his saggy arse on the throne, so we shouldn't expect him to vacate any time soon.

Locally, the SNP triumphed. Wifey Whiteford got in (having replaced Wee Eck) but not before slashing the majority by 9.9%. An 11.4% surge by the Tories, whilst impressive, was not enough. Overall, the Nats performed very poorly in Scotland, and Labour did very well. It was a vote against the Tories, rather than a vote for Labour. An opportunity squandered, but the mob wants what it wants, and they have spoken.

I probably shouldn't admit this, (it could affect all the Karmic points I have so far amassed), but I lolled every time I heard a Green result. It seems there is absolutely no appetite for their particular brand of bullshit. The BNP? What a joke. I was secretly praying for at least one Libertarian win, but it was not to be. UKIP disappointed as well, but I am very pleased that so many made the valiant effort.

As I said, the voters voted.

Those that could, at least. This election was marred by postal fraud and we will see many investigations by the Electoral Commission. They didn't exactly cover themselves in glory, did they? People locked out, and locked in, at polling stations, with disturbing reports of not enough ballot papers FFS! How do you get that wrong? They knew exactly how many were eligible to vote. They were even helped by fecking great long lists of people who might turn up. Yet they second guessed the voters and took a stab at how many papers they would send to each polling station. They deserve a good kicking. They won't get one. Instead, we will hear their favourite meme: "Lessons have been learned". Whoop de doo. That was a lesson that didn't need learning.

Mind you, there was faint praise from Robert Mugabe about the fraud. So it wasn't a total shambles.

Let's see how the days ahead roll out. The markets probably won't like all the uncertainty, so get ready for tales of woe. Europe continues to melt down, and with a bit of luck and a fair wind, it will disintegrate before our very eyes.

Happiest moment for me? Watching Jacqui Smiths face just before the results were delivered by the Returning Officer. Seeing all those chins wobble was a memorable sight. Not enough troughers were dumped, but that outing brought untold pleasure.

FWIW, a hung parliament is, to me, an infinitely more preferable outcome than a Labour win. 

As that other chappy said "Go! In the name of God go!!"



Indyanhat said...

Mornin Cap'n hows the head today?
nice post, somewhat like mine but then it wold be wouldn't it!

Captain Ranty said...

Greetings Indy!

Numb on the left hand side, and none of the pain promised by the bloke with the sharp knife. Maybe when he hacked through the blood vessel he nicked a nerve as well? I don't think local anaesthetics should last this long. I'll panic when something falls off, and not a moment before!

Inside my head I have nothing but confusion and disbelief. How can so many mongs have voted for that snot-eating fuckwit?

They have more head problems than I do. That is for certain.


Angry Exile said...

"Inside my head I have nothing but confusion and disbelief. How can so many mongs have voted for that snot-eating fuckwit?"

Christ, thinking about that is enough to make half of anybody's head go numb.

Dodgy old result. I'm far from unhappy but when we all know that there were certainly some phantom postal votes boosting Labour's numbers along with some disenfranchising of likely Tory and LibDem there's reason to believe that slightly fewer people than the official numbers suggest deserve to be twatted lightly about the head with a cricket bat.

Anonymous said...

I will not believe the hell of Brown is over until the press has squashed its hideous metal frame flat, the metal claw has stopped grasping and the red lights in the eyes have gone out.

Anonymous said...

Well we`ve had our referendum and the sheeple have voted overwhelmingly for the death of England. I can`t for the life of me understand why UKIP hasn`t won one seat, I didn`t expect many maybe 5/10 but none?? so much for Dave backing down and Gorgon selling us down the river. RIP UK

BTS said...

Election? What election?

Was I supposed to vote or something?

Oh well. Labour probably took care of that for me..

Anonymous said...

Now, just thinking, what happens if Gordo resigns and someone takes over? Do they get to form a coalition with Cleggie?

And if so, does that mean the UK will AGAIN be forced to accept an unelected PM?

No doubt, after last night, the UK will be OK with that.... they seem to enjoy being fucked.


BTS said...

I just noticed this in the Daily Register:

'Mr Brown said he was addressing the country as Prime Minister in a "position unknown to this generation of political leaders"'

Err.. that might have something to do with having never been elected as PM even when you were finally forced to call an election, Gordon.

Indyanhat said...

Just exactly what position is that?
Hiding in the cupboard under the stairs chained to the floor no doubt!

BTS said...

And wearing a gimp mask..

Captain Ranty said...

With a Mandleson up his arse...

Angry Exile said...

That reminds me, I must go down the cook shop today and buy and new meat probe.