March 03, 2010

Even The Gods Want An Election Sooner

That devastating earthquake in Chile has shifted the earth on its axis.

I'm no scientist, but I am going to go out on a limb and state that the God of Tectonic Plates wanted to speed time up. He (or she!) has shaved 1.2 microseconds off each and every day between now and the time we get to dump Labour into the political hinterland. Hopefully forever.

It's a message, pure and simple.

Or, it's bollocks.

You decide.



Nephilim Child said...

God works in mysterious ways!

Captain Ranty said...

Indeedly doodly.

Let's pray that he/she is a Ukipper....


Nephilim Child said...

I`m sure all will be revealed :-)

Uranus, The Magician said...

God is a myth!

Captain Ranty said...

You know that for thertain, Uranuth?

He could be a mythter.

James Higham said...

Yep but will Gordo listen?

watching said...

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY off topic but Captain have you read this?

Makes a hell of a lot of sense to me.

Found whilst discovering colloidal silver and then finding out the EU FDA has banned it as a food supplement across the EU.

There are some very dark forces at work in this world. Very dark indeed.


Uncle Marvo said...

I think you'll find that when they say "NASA said", they mean "some wonky scientist who happens to do some work for NASA said".

I am no scientist either, but I'm more of one than the twat that came up with this bollocks. The length of a day is dependent on the time the earth takes to revolve on its axis, as any fule kno. The time it takes to revolve is not dependant on whether the axis has shifted.


Still, I don't think I contribute to NASA. Do I?


Captain Ranty said...

Actually, the NASA dude did throw a "probably" in the statement.

I understand that an elliptical spinning object can be sped up if the shape of the object doing the spinning is "straightened up" slightly, as is the "probable" case here.

So it kind of makes sense.


Uncle Marvo said...

Straightened up slightly relative to what? The sun? The moon? The Western Spiral Arm of the Milky Way Galaxy?

And the other thing is "what is a second"?

It is a sixtieth of a sixtieth of a twenty-fourth of the time it takes the earth to revolve on its axis.

Since then it has been redefined as the time it takes for radiation decay of a caesium atom between two finite states, but that's only relative to the earth spinning.

So it's cock.


Captain Ranty said...

Relative to fucking everything, man. Your thoughts, my thoughts, the infinite wisdom of the caterpillars, cloud motion, rice crops in Vietnam, cattle movement in Botswana.

It's a drag, dude. Or rather, it's about drag. Superglue a coke can to the wing of a Tornado F1`and it's handling will change.

Same thing with our planet. Straighten up a wobbly axial spin and it should spin faster.

Or, it's cock. I cleverly left myself an escape route.....


Uncle Marvo said...

Good point. I forgot about Botswana, yet again. Silly me.

Yes, there's a lot of drag in a vacuum. I've always thought a vacuum was a drag.

Now get the blogosphere woken up.


Captain Ranty said...

I think we have concensus then.

The report is bollocks.

No-one has mentioned gravity, so I assume that has nowt to do with it all either. Nor the old story about every Chinese person jumping up and down at the same time.

Sounds like you need to visit E's & Whizz R Us. That will relieve your boredom.


Uncle Marvo said...

Fuck it, I watched this instead (HT: EUReferendum)

What amazes me is that when he doesn't get toasted the first time, he goes again!

Captain Ranty said...

That's going to become permanently embedded on the RSPB website. Calls to tear down the windmills will begin immediately.

The birds stupidity will be glossed over.

Interesting fact for the day: vultures are the only birds that fart.