December 14, 2011

Phone Call From The DCA

Just answered a call from the DCA trying to recover £31 (or is it £23.25?) from me.

It didn't end well for them.

(The call came through on my work number which I have never given them).

It went like this:

"Hello", says I.

"Hello", says she. "This is the DCA, how are you today?"

I say, "I was fine until 10 seconds ago".

She says, "Can you confirm the first li..."

"Nope", says I.

"Well then, I cannot continue with this conversation", says she.

"Good", says I.

"What is your problem?" she asks, "why wont you give me the security details I need?"

"Because I have never heard of you. Have you got a contract with me?" I ask.

"I cannot answer any questions because you wont give me..."

"Why should I? I repeat, I have never heard of you so we cannot have a contract signed between us, can we?"

"I'll just put that down as a refusal then", she says.

"Put it down as whatever you like", I say.

"Good-bye", says she.

"Good-bye", says I.

I guess the next thing will be them saying that we are heading to court. I have a surprise or two up my sleeve for them.

Cheeky bastards.



Giolla Decair said...

That verifying your own identity when they call you out of the blue from an unknown number always puzzles me as well. Never yet found someone who was prepared to offer any proof they were who they claimed either.

Captain Ranty said...

Yeah, it's a one-way street.

I'm not going down any more of them.

Quid pro quo and stuff.

If they had said "We have a contract" I would have entertained the call but without it, it's a waste of my time.

They will learn an expensive lesson from all of this.

If I was the poor bastard assigned to my "case" I would have paid the £23.25 just so that I never had to call me again.


pitano1 said...

hi capt.

i to have been pestered of late.

could not get any sense from the call centre.

told them to write,but it seems i binned the letters,as they were using a sneeky stating they were a credit repair company,and refused to write again

anyway i thinks..i need a name.

so i phoned the police,and reported them as a

low,and behold,a lovely threatening letter,wung its way to me from the managing director.

someone is going to have a very bad day,and it aint gunner be me.

theirs more than one way to skin

Captain Ranty said...


Good stuff!

Send them an invoice for harrassment. That may shut them up.

Or, ask them if they bought the debt. If they say yes, you say thank you. In law, the debt is settled.


Rob F said...

A DCA wants around 800 quid from me, which was a non-existent debt passed to them from Santander.

I've been to the Consumer Action Group website, but I find your letters and emails to be a more entertaining template (I just modify them a bit to reflect my situation).

I was once worried about doorstep visits or going to court, but not any more; I know the law is on my side as long as I stand up for myself.

I also have a HSBC statement proving that I'd paid my debt, so why was I afraid?

Because I, in common with most people, was used to feeling cowed and simply giving in.

Not any more, and I owe a big debt of thanks to people like you, Cap'n!

Captain Ranty said...

Well done Rob!

I claim absolutely no credit whatsoever.

I am standing on the shoulders of giants here.

Like your £800, that £31 was never owed in the first place. I wonder how many people just cave in to the pressure and write a cheque?

Five years ago I would have done just that.

Then I discovered the power of "NO!".

A great day for me, that was.

Very glad you did the right thing.



banned said...

Nice, reminds me of the time I stood up to my city council and their unfounded council tax demands. Made them take me to Court, 6 times, and won. Banneds finest hour.

Captain Ranty said...

You da man!

I haven't started on CT yet. Got me hands full already.


Pete said...

I haven't paid CT in 5 years, never been in a court and have no intention of going into one neither. A lot of Freement and Sovereigns wish to test the water in court, I don't, I just want them to leave me the fuck alone to get on with my life unhindered by their petty bureaucracy and schemes. Behind every scheme there is a schemer.

My wife had a similar call as yourself CR last week, she did brilliant, asked the caller who she was, what company etc and the caller said blah blah company. My Mrs stated, I have no contract with you, I do not recognise you and under the data protection act 1998 I shall not be disclosing any personal information to you. I was chuffed to hell, my good lady has listened well and has learned a lot.

Pete said...

BTW Capt, I have a post over at my blog on how I deal with the Council tax lot. It might aid you once you start along the route of saying eff that, I'm not paying that tax neither!

Anonymous said...

I've just received a letter informing me that I have £4000 in a pension scheme somewhere. It dates back to 1987. I have vague memories of being harrassed by some cunt outside the factory gate and signing something to get rid of the twat so thats got to be it Now then, if I'm informed by someone that I have £4000 in thier pension scheme then surely it's mine and not the fuckers who are using it to increase thier profits. I'd like it all back asap. I've been homeless yet I'm a thousandaire. How the hell can that be right? The mail states I can't have it until I'm 55 but I can cash it in and lose most of it. Which I translate as 'we're fucking keeping it mate. You can have a quarter if you want it now but the rest is ours if you want it now........that badly! FFS I never knew I had until last week. Dilemma sir and in need of templates or mentor.

Anonymous said...


I had something like this a few years ago with some shares. I’m trying to rack my brains as to what or with whom but it’s escaping me at the moment.

Nevertheless, ‘they’ said something to me along the lines of you’ve got £3,000 pounds worth [of stocks or something, blahdy, blah] but if you cash it in, it’s only worth [about] £2,200.

I wrote back to them and said, it’s either worth £3,000 or it isn’t; which is it? If its value is £3k then that’s what I should get should I cash it in (less their inevitable admin fee of course). You can’t tell me it’s worth 3k in your bank account but only 70% or thereabouts in mine (assuming their admin fee wasn’t the best part of 25-30% though; of course it wasn’t, in my case, they were just trying it on).

I then received a load of old tosh about ‘…fluctuating markets, … the value of this, the value of that…’; rubbish, it’s either worth 3k or it isn’t: which is it, you can’t have it both ways?

I stood my ground and this went on for one or two exchanges (of letters) until I told them I’d had enough, and told them to cash everything in an send me my money. A short while later I received my cheque for around £2,960.

Similarly with your situation, if it isn’t worth 4k, then why tell you it is? Whatever its value, you will lose some if you cash it in early, that’s inevitable. It’ll be somewhere in the small print of the paperwork that you filed away somewhere in 1987 with the intention of reading it later at some point. That’s life, we all do it. But, unless I am sorely mistaken, the value of your fund shouldn’t alter drastically. You mention, ‘…they say I will lose most of it…’ and then say '...a quarter.. I'd say you need to clarify, exactly where you are with "it". If it were me, I’d ask:

1) “Exactly how much will I lose/what is the total value if I cash it in today?”
2) “You told me it was worth £4,000, why do I lose most of it - I don’t understand?”
3) “Please show me where it says that.”

Lazy, at least you’ll then know and can better make a decision on what to do. If they won’t show you the contract…I’m not sure of what your next step is - maybe others on here can advise? - But always remember that these people are meant to be acting in your best interest: that’s why you signed up with them in the first place. If this has somehow changed, 4) ask them why (other than the reasons you pointed out, the money-grabbing b*******s).

As I understand it, if the contract says that is what you will get, then unless it was miss-sold to you (or similar), it'll be binding. If the contract doesn’t say that, then they’re lying. Unless others on here have better advice, I’d get the answers to the 4 questions above to see exactly what you’re getting or dealing with, and then follow it with a trip to the Citizen’s Advice if necessary.
It might sound long-winded but it shouldn't take long. You could do it with phone calls but I prefer things written down and not [promised] recordings.
Good luck.

Bucko said...

I've had similar calls asking for security details in the past. I just say, "You called me on my mobile, you know who I am. Tell me who you are."

They won't until I do. I won't until they do. I always stay on the phone until they are forced to hang up.

Sue said...

.... and you were going to stop blogging Capt!!!

You're a hero to some people :)

Captain Ranty said...


I hadn't planned to be that, Sue. I'm no hero, just a gobshite.

(An angry gobshite).

But thanks!