Picture This

Tip of the beret to Mrs R.

I don't have much to say about this. It speaks for itself.

I will offer some advice to Davey boy: Get ye to No 10 and kick the fucker out. Do it now.

An honourable man would have left without being dragged out. Brown, as we are all aware, has had an honourectomy. He is a shameless little toad. For all our sakes, remove him now. With force if necessary.

There. I've said it.

UPDATE:

CMD will need one of these, courtesy of The Geek.

Politicians, whatever their hue, may not recognise it. In the old days we called it a backbone. 

CR.

Fat Lady Sings

She just isn't singing a song we all wanted to hear.

With 20-30 results still to come in it is clear that we have a hung parliament. As predicted by the exit polls. What is also clear is that Gordon Brown must go. More than 2 million of us (quite apart from the massive swing to the Tories) said so. Well, I guess that prediction (that Gorgon will lose his fingernails on the way out of No 10) is also shaping up to be true. He clings on with a grip that would put genital warts to shame.

What next?

We wait, I suppose. Deals will be considered, and discarded. Cleggy has stepped up and said that the party with the most seats should govern. That looks sensible from where I'm sitting, but there is still an 18 stone, one-eyed obstacle in the way. After his petulance, and his whining to Tiny Blur, he finally got his saggy arse on the throne, so we shouldn't expect him to vacate any time soon.

Locally, the SNP triumphed. Wifey Whiteford got in (having replaced Wee Eck) but not before slashing the majority by 9.9%. An 11.4% surge by the Tories, whilst impressive, was not enough. Overall, the Nats performed very poorly in Scotland, and Labour did very well. It was a vote against the Tories, rather than a vote for Labour. An opportunity squandered, but the mob wants what it wants, and they have spoken.

I probably shouldn't admit this, (it could affect all the Karmic points I have so far amassed), but I lolled every time I heard a Green result. It seems there is absolutely no appetite for their particular brand of bullshit. The BNP? What a joke. I was secretly praying for at least one Libertarian win, but it was not to be. UKIP disappointed as well, but I am very pleased that so many made the valiant effort.

As I said, the voters voted.

Those that could, at least. This election was marred by postal fraud and we will see many investigations by the Electoral Commission. They didn't exactly cover themselves in glory, did they? People locked out, and locked in, at polling stations, with disturbing reports of not enough ballot papers FFS! How do you get that wrong? They knew exactly how many were eligible to vote. They were even helped by fecking great long lists of people who might turn up. Yet they second guessed the voters and took a stab at how many papers they would send to each polling station. They deserve a good kicking. They won't get one. Instead, we will hear their favourite meme: "Lessons have been learned". Whoop de doo. That was a lesson that didn't need learning.

Mind you, there was faint praise from Robert Mugabe about the fraud. So it wasn't a total shambles.

Let's see how the days ahead roll out. The markets probably won't like all the uncertainty, so get ready for tales of woe. Europe continues to melt down, and with a bit of luck and a fair wind, it will disintegrate before our very eyes.

Happiest moment for me? Watching Jacqui Smiths face just before the results were delivered by the Returning Officer. Seeing all those chins wobble was a memorable sight. Not enough troughers were dumped, but that outing brought untold pleasure.

FWIW, a hung parliament is, to me, an infinitely more preferable outcome than a Labour win. 

As that other chappy said "Go! In the name of God go!!"

CR.

GE 2010-Open Thread

Folks,

This is an open thread if you want to jot any thoughts down.

I am not feeling my best. This morning I had a "minor" surgery. The procedure was scheduled for 20 minutes but an hour and a half later the surgeon finally managed to remove a small tumour (benign) from my bonce. He managed to slice through a blood vessel and my claret was all over the small theatre. After a couple of minutes of this the place looked like a butchers shop. It filled up with old women looking for cheap cuts. It was a mess. I have half a dozen stitches and a small amount of pain. It was Mrs Ranty and the cadets what made me have the op. I was reasonably content with the wee lump but they started taking grossly exaggerated detours around me. It was funny the first fifteen thousand times then I got bored and surrendered. This was my first visit to an NHS hospital in 16 years. Anyone care to figure out what my little operation cost? On second thoughts, please don't tell me. Just in case I have anyone reading who works for the NHS, I can confirm that the surgical team were pretty damn good.

If anyone wants to send any "Get Well" blondes, let me know. I will email you the address of a seedy hotel near Ranty Barracks.

Otherwise, my floor is yours.

A word, if I may, about foul language: knock yourself out. There may be awards for the most colourful swears.

In case you were curious about how your unbending author voted, I had to choose one of these:

Jimmy Buchan-Con
Glen Reynolds-Lab
Galen Milne-LibDem
Eilidh Whiteford-SNP
Richard Payne-BNP

Have a stab at guessing who got my X*. I will (eventually) cave in and tell you the answer.

CR.

*Can anyone tell me why we write the X with a pencil?

T Minus 11 Hours

Judgement day cometh.

In just a few short hours we will decide. Millions of us will not even think about it. We will vote Labour because "we have always been red" or we will vote Tory because we are hoping "for change" or we will vote LibDem because we honestly "do not understand politics at all and we just like the rosettes".

For those of you that vote Labour, remember this: if they could not get it right in 13 years when times were good, just how the hell do you think they are going to perform now that Europe (possibly the world, see below) is in meltdown? Screw what your granpappy said, he doesn't have to live through it. YOU do.

LibDems? Puh-leeze. We need decisive leaders. And I am sorry to break this to you: The Boy Wonder is not the man for the job. He is weak. He dithers. Perhaps in another 15 years, but not now. Not with this much at stake.

CMD then? Well, possibly. But before you toss your hat into his ring (fetch the eye bleach-Ed), recall that he keeps breaking those promises. Remember that "cast iron guarantee" that was constructed entirely of candy floss? Remember that video I put up for you just hours ago? The Greek violence? That's us that is. Very soon now. If you want to speed it along, vote for DING Cameron. At least you will get to hunt foxes (lawfully) again. Hip hip hoorah!

UKIP are a safe route away from the madness. Their manifesto screams common sense, and with Nigel and Lord P running the show, we will be happy bunnies. I am certain of it. We must leave the EU. Remember when your old ma told you not to play with the bad boys? The EU are worse. They steal our money then refuse, for more than 11 years, to tell us what they spent it all on. If you think that is right, fair and proper, then vote for more of it. Vote LibLabCon.

Whatever you do, whoever you vote for, know this: the world is now in REVOLUTION.

Where do you think all that rage came from? Who do you think CAUSED it? Who, apart from your very own government fomented, nurtured and engineered this rage?

You have 21 hours or so to consider which bastard you are going to unleash on your countrymen.

Think hard.

CR.

Greek Cops Beat Child

Mark my words, this sort of treatment is heading our way.

Mark also, the brave Greek cop as he punches the youngster in the face. He is kitted out to withstand a direct strike from a SAM 7. The girl is wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. An even fight then.

One can only hope that he walks under a bus on his way home from "work".

CR.

Tip of the beret to Muddy  for the find.