April 09, 2012

Dear David Cameron,

I am an ordinary man.

I find myself being driven to extraordinary lengths in my efforts to defy you, your colleagues, your peers, and every agent acting for or on behalf of the UK government.

Daily, my outrage reaches new highs. My disgust reaches new highs. My disappointment reaches new highs.

In the 2010 general election I voted Conservative. Before you pat yourself on the back, you should know that it was a wasted vote, but I knew that when I ticked the box for your man here in Aberdeenshire. He was the least worst choice, so infected are we here with the SNP. Had UKIP fielded a candidate I would have joyfully voted for him or her. Hindsight offers a clarity of vision like no other and I should have simply spoiled my vote. Alas, I did not. Lessons were learned.

You had promised so much, but the very best thing, by a long shot, was that Cast Iron Guarantee of a referendum on the EU. It never came. You sir, are a liar. A liar and a cheat. You also promised a Great Repeal. So deluged are we with legislation it is absolutely impossible for any Briton to know the law. You said you would reduce the size of government. You said there would be a bonfire of the quangos. You said that you would reduce regulation so that businesses could flourish. You did none of that.

I'm willing to bet that no more than a handful of people in government (and by that I do not include you and the other 649 MPs) have any idea how many pieces of legislation (including statutory instruments) were enacted in 2011. You don't know? I'll tell you. It was a staggering, a record-breaking 4,116. That's FOUR THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN. As of today, 99 days into 2012, you and your team of inepts have vomited another 1,277 mostly useless "laws" at a population already drowning in rules and regulations. Don't believe me? Check your own website (bottom left).

Proud of yourself?

Even de Montforts parliament, the first parliament ever created in England in 1265, suddenly granted power beyond imagination, struggled mightily to produce legislation. I admire them greatly. Why? Because by 1267 they had only produced 2 (TWO) new laws. Almost 3 years into it, they managed to produce just two new pieces of legislation. Oh how I long for a time machine, to go back and extract some of their DNA to re-inject into the foul corpse that British politics has become.

Back then, of course, we had no need for almost five million CCTV cameras. We had no need for legislation allowing GCHQ to listen to every phone call, to log every Tweet, or to capture every single email sent by 60 million innocents, in order that we might catch one bad guy. Your own government study proved that it takes over 1,000 cameras just to nail one bad guy. Clearly we do not have enough cameras. To effectively watch every man, woman and child, you will need to install another 60000000000 cameras. And then? You might miss someone, doing something, somewhere! Better fill every home with another sixty or seventy cameras!

Where does it end, Dave? And who do you have in mind to read all those emails and tweets? Even if the phone calls you log have any useful intelligence, just who is going to read them all?

Is this your idea of reducing the size of the state? Is it? Is this your idea of less interference? By increasing surveillance? What are you so terrified of? Because I'll tell you something for nothing: not one of my friends, acquaintances, peers, neighbours, or fellow-villagers are in the least bit worried about Al Qaeda. But they are scared to death of you and those control freaks you work with and surround yourself with.

You may not know this Dave, (Labour certainly didn't), but the very moment you stop listening, the end is nigh. People can put up with all sorts but they will not be ignored. Labour didn't lose the last election because they were crap at running the country-they were, but we Brits are a forgiving bunch-no, they lost because they stopped listening.

Hear this:

We want out of the EU. Today.

We want less surveillance, not more.

We want more freedom, not less.

We want our sovereignty back. All of it.

We want the ECA 1972 burnt. Publicly. At prime time.

We want pretty much ALL environmental legislation burnt as well.

We want affordable fuel-petrol, diesel, electric and gas.

We want less waste of taxpayer money.

We want to kill off ALL quangos.

We want an end to all faux charities.

We want banks to fail if they mess up.

We want to stop all but emergency (humanitarian) foreign aid.

There are several dozen other things we want, but this will do for a mornings work.

Start earning your money Dave. Start listening. Start taking action.

Or we will.


Captain James Edward Ranty (R'td).

PS-Since there are so many laws, I have decided that I cannot possibly obey them all. I will, therefore, obey none. I sent you an Affidavit to this effect, and I let yer pal Madge know as well. Consider this a reminder.


Russ said...

Great post CR!

Jay said...

Damn you, CR, are you reading my mind? I was going to write an open letter to Cameron. Now I'll have wait like a whole two days or something. ;)

Anyway, hear hear and seconded.

Anonymous said...

spot on my man

William said...

No need to rant at a fool who doesn't listen simply remove yourself from the electoral roll and in doing so you no longer consent to be a member of the United Kingdom and all of its ills, legalities, dubious benefits and thievery.
You are asking a tyrant (the United Kingdom) to change and it never will.

I would be the first to admit this seems to be too simplistic to be effective but think about it. Why does TPTB go to such devious and corrupt attempts to get you to consent to be part of their system?
They need the human beings, the people, the peacful inhabitants to consent to be governed in the United Kingdoms system. This system may or may not be part of a bigger system or a global system or a dark system it really doesn't matter consent is required. Without it they cannot act.

Once that step has been done though there is no going back and everything and I really do mean everything that we have been taught or forced to take for granted will be exposed for what it really is. Perhaps that is why most people opt for the 'devil they know'.

Michael Fowke said...

Great post, but can't believe you voted Tory. Never mind.

Anonymous said...

Voting Tory in Scotland is a rare mindset indeed!
I've voted once in my life.
After seeing the results of 'choosing' this party, or that party, a few times, it gets altogether a bit samey and just feels like a wasted effort to put pen to paper.
I like the SNP.
You know why?
Because you hear pretty much NOTHING, from them on most media.
To me, less BS is a good thing ;)

Oldrightie said...

All it would take to be rid of this lot is everybody, everybody, just once vote UKIP. After that we could start again as necessary but the grip on our lives would be loosened for decades if not for ever. I don's say this out of allegiance just a passion to rub ALL their noses in it. Just imagine all those faces on results night, to a man and woman, banker sponsored or Trade Union lackey, all gone! Perks and power removed! Whoops, I just woke up from my dream!

Manu said...

Great post CR! :-)

Anonymous said...

Class piece Cap'n.
At the last election I had the good fortune thanks to an Icelandic Volcanic Cloud, to be stranded away from the wasted folly of polling
After 48 years of voting Tory I
am so glad ,providence delivered me from voting for them again.
The Tories now are little more than toothless vermin splashing
around in the same cess as waffling Libbers and pink Trots.
They drink from the same Loo as
Fabians ,Mind controllers,fellow
travellers and International
Swindlers,they have become Seniors in a one Party State.
Hardly one Minister can speak without disclosing a forked tongue,in simple words unfit to rule.
In a true democracy,some leading Tories could easily fall into the "treason" bracket

Had it with Westminster

meganne121 said...

Tremendous post, Captain. If only UKIP could field candidates everywhere. God knows we're trying.

Anonymous said...

Spot on !

jaded said...

I agree with all of this.
I can't believe I would ever consider not voting Tory for the first time in my life but i'm at that tipping point.

Anonymous said...


When you know that democracy was created by the elites to make people believe they had choice when they don't; when you know that politicians are groomed from a young age to be puppets for the corporations and ruling oligarchy; when you know no matter what politician you write to they will never listen; when you know regardless of what party wins nothing will ever change....what on earth possessed you to write, what most certainly is truthful to many and a sign of complete frustration, a letter to a one David Cameron, who gives a fuck about no one?

You know you can't use the system to beat the system! Cap'n I agree with your frustration, but your letter would have the same effect if it was stuck on the inside door of a chicken coup as it is on this blog. Cameron, as all politicians are, is a yes man. He's told what to do, does it and is duly rewarded. I don't even have to tell you this as you know. I offend by telling the truth and I won't apologise. This reply, I suppose, is a cyberspace kick up your behind. Fuck Cameron and the rest of the arseholes who parade as voices of the people. This maybe you thinking out loud, although I hope not. I truly hope that you're not thinking of voting, in the same old pantomime as it appears some of the repliers are? You know I'm blunt cap'n.



Anonymous said...

To you sir I doff my cap, were England still England you would be a hero!

nominedeus said...

@ Jay...WHAT!!!...you think that Camermuppet can manage to read all that in a mere two days, give it a week to be on the safe side and remember it will have to be translated out of the Scots for him as well...
Ranty...you voted WHAT!!!you should have kept that one quiet there WAS a tory wandering around looking at everyone and wondering who that other vote was from having accounted for his/her wife and family and being one adrift...

Anonymous said...

You are at times so fuckin right.
Maybe the sowing of the dragons teeth may not be far away.
Bow lowly. Smile.


Anonymous said...

Don't forget the even rarer Pirate Party!

tinks said...

Awesome post. Absolutely on the money. And you know, Dave and his cohorts, the same as the last lot, will have no intention of listening. Come election time they might throw us a few bones, but nothing will change, Red, Blue, Yellow, it doesn't matter.

Elected representatives is an oxymoron - they are elected by a minority and represent an even smaller one.

Really disappointed with Cameron, as you demonstrate, shown up to be a liar. I thought the dark days of nasty, mendacious Labour were behind us... it feels worse when you are taken in.

It's a great country this, with some great people - bright, questioning, inventive, decent, tolerant, caring. You would have no idea that was the case the way they - we - are held in such contempt by a few small men and women who got lucky. It should be a privilege to serve, not an opportunity.

(from yesterday)

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks all, for the great comments.


You are half-right. I wrote this piece knowing it wouldn't be read by CMD, but his minions do read the blog. I wondered if one of them was concerned enough to show it to him.

Hope springs eternal.

(Not that he would actually do anything, but it is a way of showing him what the slaves think about him and his muppetry).


microdave said...

"I wrote this piece knowing it wouldn't be read by CMD, but his minions do read the blog"

I will make damn sure that one of them hears it, even if I have to read it out in person...

And it's saved to my Hard Drive, naturally!

Gaius said...


Whenever I spoil a ballot paper I always right the word "CUNTS" on it in large letters. This is because all the candidates are shown all the spoilt ballot papers to get their approval that the papers are indeed spoilt.

IOW, I get to call them cunts to their face.

This does work, I've been to counts where the candidates where faced with this and they were not happy.

Anonymous said...


You are, of course, at liberty to write whatever you want on your ballot paper, however it may grab their attention more if people write 'I hereby withdraw my consent to be governed by anyone and am invoking Article 61 of Magna Carta as it is my sworn duty to rebel against a corrupt Crown'. May elections are coming up - this is a great opportunity to send them the same coherent message, event though writing 'cunts' is sorely tempting, I agree.

Great post Captain.


Anonymous said...

Great rant Captain, but don't leave out the BBC!

This is off-topic, for which I apologise, but interesting nonetheless.

There have been a few articles like this before, but anyway - anyone want to see a civvy's version of a DUMB?

Now you can, courtesy of this wonderful piece of apocalyptic public-notice programming from the Daily Fail.

As expected, you only get in if you're rich. Obviously.


This one is actually doing the rounds of the MSM as it's in Time Magazine and Forbes as well as a few others, coming from AFP apparently.



Span Ows said...

Great post and great list of what we want. I always imagine me being PM and writing a list like that plus the addition of the note (a la Winston Churchill): "Action this day". Or ensuring every single penny of expenditure that has anything to do with the EU must cross my desk and get a personal OK (i.e. any civil servant trying to carry on as normal/sneak stuff out would get short shrift.