December 20, 2011

Oooh! I Have Been Served A Writ.

How very exciting.

Remember those cigarettes and cigars that were stolen from me back in March? UKBA have instructed their solicitors to send me a Writ (Or a Warrant. It mentions both).

I have 21 days to decide whether I will defend the case or not. The form is very specific: I must instruct a solicitor and I must pay £80 if I want to defend.

I do not intend to defend. But I will, however, attack.

Later today (I have to do the worky thing now) I will update this post with my response to the solicitor/court.

For those interested in the speeding thing, the Procurator Fiscal is now out of time, and he is in dishonour. He is obviously a man who does not like to be told what he must and must not do. Join the club, sunshine. Neither do I. You may recall I gave him seven days to get back to me. He has not done so, although I doubt he will leave it there.

With a bit of luck, that large purple vein near his temple burst and he is now formulating his revenge.

I wait, as we all must, for the next stage.



Angry Exile said...

/ gets popcorn

Actually I'm going to have to look at your archives first because I don't remember the sods having your smokes off you. Then I'll get popcorn.

Pesky Anonymous said...

"I must pay £80 if I want to defend". Sounds just like being mugged to me.

It's all bollox anyway. Instead read: I *may* instruct a solicitor and I *may* pay £80 if I want to defend.

Go Go Go Captain.

I think I'll buy some popcorn shares.

Oldrightie said...

Courage above and beyond, Captain.

Anonymous said...

If he is out of time, can you not use Estoppel by Aquiesence?

Sue said...

I'm excited,... sad, but true :)

I love these posts of yours!

Pete said...

This one confuses me Capt. Issued a writ or a warrant? I really don't get it and am no spangle! A writ is normally issued by a Court:

An order issued by a court requiring that something be done or giving authority to do a specified act.

The only thing that I can find that could possibly class this as a writ is this:

An order issued by a court requiring that something be done or giving authority to do a specified act.

I cannot for the life of me see how it could be classed as a warrant. A warrant to do exactly what and who issued it, what court etc.

I am certainly not trying to piss on yer parade but this is not making any sense to me Capt.

There is also the issue of them attempting to make a charge of 80 FIAT to defend your corner, makes no sense neither!

I hope what I have written above helps.

Pete said...

EDIT Paragraph Five:

Should say:

The writ of Mandamus is an extraordinary writ that directs a public official or government department to take an action.

btw the captcha for this post was mosperms, the mind boggles!

Pete said...

I give up, Paragraph Four, It's been a long day at the hospital with my mrs as they tries to turn our breech baby.

Captain Ranty said...


On the (registered) envelope it says "This envelope contains a Citation to or Intimation from the Sheriff Court"

Then there are three forms:

Form 01 is called a Form of Warrant or Citation

Form 04 is called Form of Citation

Form 07 is called Form of notice of intention to defend

The last batch of papers (stapled together) is headed Initial Writ. It contains 7 paragraphs (of varying lengths) laying out the UKBA story. It says "Defender admitted x and x and x..." but I did no such thing. I think the UKBA guy made some shit up. The whole document is peppered with statutes.

They are very clear about the 80 quid. They want it quite badly. It is repeated several times.


Captain Ranty said...


Easy on the salt now. The Righteous don't like you eating more than your RDA.


Captain Ranty said...


I have no intention of paying them anything.

I will instead be demanding monies from them.

And I certainly will not be appointing a solicitor to play this game for me.

Enjoy that popcorn!


Captain Ranty said...


Some call it stupidity.

I prefer your description....


Captain Ranty said...


Yes indeedy.

I will remind him if/when he writes back to me.


Captain Ranty said...


It is my sworn duty to cause trouble.

I have 84 Peers to report to!


Captain Ranty said...


I hope all is well with your wee one.


Pete said...

Onto it now Ranty, ok to mail you directly since I have your email addy? Tidy this up a bit with a breakdown of what they are attempting to do?

Captain Ranty said...

Go for it Pete.

I can do this several ways, so it will be interesting to have another angle.


Pete said...

mail sent

Captain Ranty said...

Reply sent.

LividfromBarnsley said...

Good luck Capt doing something similar myself at the moment,they'll be getting my estoppel sent to them after christmas.

Pete said...

cmon Capt, why wait on them bringing it to you, counter attack with what you now have bud.

Angry Exile said...

Memory refreshed. This has been sitting around for quite a while with no action on the part of UKBA, hasn't it? The thought occurs that a win here will attract attention from the other smokers who've had their stuff taken by UKBA. I know you're not in LR just to get cigars and grog past Customs but if it turns out that that's one of the upsides in could get you some company.

subrosa said...

Firstly, did all go well Pete?

Ranty, I await the next installment.

Smoking Hot said...

Strange how in Scotland UKBA/Courts ask for £80. Here in England they continually threaten you that you will be liable for costs of a minimum of £2500.

Take them on Captain, it's fun ... we know ... and we haven't lost yet!

Anonymous said...

This is what you should do. Go to your GP saying that you have had police at your door, that you face writs and warrants, and that you cannot sleep, eat properly or remember things. Yor will get "signed off" with stress and you should forward that certificate to the PF. This will, usually, moderate their behaviour and give you at least 6-8 weeks to play with. It will also wrong foot your enemies.

John the Bastard

Anonymous said...

Nice to feel wanted at this time of year, innit? ;-)

If it helps, I believe a fair few law dictionaries have the basic definition of a warrant as "a writ" (or something similar), though there are a number of additional definitions for each one.

All the best, etc, as ever!