December 29, 2011

A Few Updates

Odd, isn't it?

The terminally terrified, those that come on here saying that I should comply with all edicts issued by the gubmint and its agents, would have us believe that to say "No" automatically invites a SWAT Team.

I can confirm that that simply does not happen.

The first three items have penalties attached. The fourth involves corporate theft, and the fifth involves theft of a criminal nature. So they all have something in common then.

The speeding thing: Not heard a word from the PF. This was an "offence" allegedly committed on 23rd September. Despite the threats, I argued the toss. They are supposed to have a cast iron case, and yet here I sit, no points on my license, no fines issued, and no court date in sight.

The census thing: "You will be fined 1,000 pounds if you do not comply!!!". Oh really? Then where the hell are you? I have not heard a single word from these drones. I would like to hear from them. If I cannot get to court via the speeding thing, then I would like to use this as an excuse to read them the Ranty Riot Act.

The seizure of my stuff by UKBA: still mulling this over. I have time. I intend to play with them for a bit. Nothing to lose, see? They already stole my stuff. I doubt I will get my smokes back, but it won't stop me messing with the minds of the UKBA solicitors.

The lecky thing: the legal department are in a bit of a tizzy. The wifey called me to say that they had never seen letters like mine and they did not know how to respond. I said, "It's easy: simply refund all the money you took without my consent. It's theft. Pay me back". She ummed and ahhed and went away.

The fraud thing: when the paper statement arrived from the bank, I identified another two fraudulent payments. One for 227.99 and one for 157.99. Both to Amazon. They refunded the 227.99 but denied all knowledge of the payment made on 6th December for 127.99. I called my bank. The money was in my account 45 minutes later. All told, they tried to steal 1,410 pounds from me. I have it all back now. Hopefully that is the end of it.

That's about it. (Apart from the fact that my pound symbol has buggered orf. Anyone seen it?).

How goes it with you lot?



Andrew said...

all good mate....glad to see they are slowly getting the message that you are not playing there game with there stuff... :)

Oldrightie said...

What Andrew said!

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks lads.

Any luck with my pound sign?


Sean O'Hare said...

I'm very concerned about your pound symbol having buggered orf. I do hope the gubmint haven't taken it in preparation for us adopting the euro.

Captain Ranty said...


I'll use the Yen symbol instead!

DAD said...

You can use the ASCII form of the £ sign.

With your left hand push down the 'Alt' key and hold it down. Type 156 with the right hand using the numeric pad. Release the 'Alt' key.

Voila, you hae a £ sign.

Simples, as my grandson would say.

George Speller said...

I found my £ sign in a pile of old Higgs Bosons somebody left in the yard.

Captain Ranty said...



Thanks very much.

£ £ £ £ £ £



Captain Ranty said...


Not you as well!

Can't bloody move around here for Higgs Bosons....


Anonymous said...

Hello Captain

Nice set of updates! :-D The sagas continue...

The senseless - sorry, Census - was a complete joke, wasn't it? With the form processing ending in August and the last wave of drones either then or November (can't remember when exactly) I think if you haven't heard anything by now you probably won't. Heard nowt myself. Just like the electoral roll and the letters from my penpals Hales, Willars(e) and Tunstall that one of my places gets.

Besides any form received after August 15th wasn't processed anyway, it was just stored, at least in your patch Captain (skip to Q8 on that link).

And the prosecutions have started!!! From the article, they say they are chasing 400 for prosecution (with just 1 fine so far, and no clue how many of the 400 have been charged), but:
- "the ONS believes tens of thousands of households failed to respond"
- "the ONS said 22.9 million forms were returned out of the 25.4 million sent out."

:-D 'Tis a minuscule number that will be "done" again this time, however they spin it. I wonder how many returned forms contained a bit of "creative writing"?

There could be more fines than in 2001 because of wider dissemination of the census rebellion via the various sites, YouTube and other places, which would probably lead to more people getting into it on the doorstep without really knowing what they were doing or being sufficiently prepared if things went a certain way.

Further to the £ sign - by the same process ALT + 0128 gives you that favourite currency of ours. A similar process to get the £ sign can be done in Linux by using the Compose key and either L- or -L. Depends on what your compose key is though.

I suppose your keyboard might suddenly be of the opinion it's in the US, in which case it needs a bit of reminding...



Anonymous said...

Not heard from the Electoral Roll gangsters.
Must check the new roll.
Expect my Strawman name will be on it for the forth year - without signing their form.

coz said...

Keep on keeping on.

Angry Exile said...

Re: your £ sign. Any chance your keyboard settings have accidentally been changed to a non-UK keyboard, probably the US layout we in all the various dollar currency nations use? Couple of simple tests. If you normally do Shift+3 to get £ sign and at the moment you're getting #, and if Alt+3 brings the £ sign back again then your computer probably thinks you're a Merkin now (for Canada type in the fridge, for Australia hold keyboard upside down, for New Zealand hold keyboard upside down and swap some of the vowel keys around, etc). Go check your keyboard and country settings and see if anything that ought to say UK says something else.

Anonymous said...

actallly my heads been a bit fucked of late. Too much apple juice on boxing day led to a few days in me camper van. Have I missed the jew in the corner of our front room ........nope. Have I missed the gobbldeeeshite on the radio? have I fuckers like, no papers, no mags, no media, no nothing just me and my head. Oh and the silence............amazing. Haven't enjoyed it since last december

Escapee said...

Hi Captain, I've been following your post for a year now. I'd like to thank you for your wise words and help (especially the Census letters). I was quietly alarmed when you recently mused about you going it alone (I'm sure that you could have) - however, I believe that our strengths are not only as an individual but also a collective.#My Warmest Wishes for 2012

Escapee (

The Filthy Engineer said...

I just lied on my census form.

I had twenty rooms.
My religion was Buddhist.
10 cars.
etc, etc.