November 17, 2010

"Run Like Fuck" MPs Told

If the shit hits the fan, run like Linford.

Do NOT stop to help the little people-the secretaries, the cleaners, the gophers, the security team-just save yourself!

Elbows to the face, boots to the groin, anything usable as a weapon, these are all at your disposal as you run screaming from the False Flag events we have planned for you. (Probably).

In plain English: do what you MPs always do. Think only of yourself.

That's an order!



James Higham said...

Do I detect a trace of cynicism there, Cap'n?

Captain Ranty said...

From me?

Never think it....


Anonymous said...

Where do they flee if their surrounded by an angry mob of ,say 25 million ?

Captain Ranty said...


There will not be 25 million outside.

We need to give the Met six weeks notice, remember?


The Filthy Engineer said...

Could we programme their passes so that the little people can get out, but the doors slam shut for the 650?

Captain Ranty said...


I thought that but then I got all scared about committing it to print.

Dibble will be around to arrest me on the authority of a cleaner, or something......


Caratacus said...

Cameron addresses Parliament:

"And, of course, in line with many years of fine traditions in this House, the last person to leave the building in these appalling circumstances will be: The Prime Minister.

If I pass you on the way to the exits, you will immediately assume the rank of Prime Minister..."

Captain Ranty said...


I imagine there will be a lot of folks slipping and sliding.

No doubt there will be a trail of shit leading to all exits.


Anonymous said...

The trail of shit is already there. In fact the house is full of the stuff.

I assume from this, that its the latest scare.. the taxpayer will no doubt have to cough up sooner or later to build bunkers to protect the little darlings.. furnished with the very best, most expensive facilities.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

"Squeal piggies, squeal!"

I wonder how that translates into Arabic.

Caratacus said...

"لول لول الخنازير"

You did ask killem...

I need help... bacon sandwich... seveeerial beers... Oh - and a lap-dancer

Pavlov's Cat said...

I commented on JuliaM's blog. To the effect that.

Once we found out about it, there would be a circle outside chucking the fuckers back in.

banned said...

"Staff will be alerted to an attack with a tannoy announcement" What is this? Dads Army? Suppose the attackers cut the wires like they do in the movies.

This is all about Security guarding their backs against being sued for not giving best practise advice in the face of the bleedin' obvious.

Advice to abandon the injured is on a par with elfinsafety telling taxi drivers that if their passenger collapses once they have left the vehicle they are to drive away as it is "not their responsibility", ie cuntish in the extreme.

Amusing Bunni said...

What clowns, the murderers will all be waiting by the doors then for them *good* ;-)