November 25, 2012

Take The Test!

So, you have always wondered if you were cut out for a career in politics, eh?

I have devised a simple test to discover if you can deliver the goods.

Good luck!

Q1. Do you firmly believe that taxpayers money is yours to disburse however you see fit?

Q2. Can you promise the earth whilst campaigning for votes and once elected, immediately discard all those promises?

Q3. Can you claim every expense going, make up a few of your own and when challenged, bleat that "It was all within the rules!"

Q4. Can you, with total disregard to your own conscience (if you have one), simply stand idly by and watch as your nation loses all sense of itself?

Q5. Are you prepared to vote on meaningless yet unending legislation that you have never even bothered to read?

Q6. Are you prepared to put party first, no matter what damage is done to your home nation?

Q7. Are you prepared to defend every idiotic decision your party leader makes?

Q8. Are you prepared, if the need arises, to claim expenses on your rented accommodation and THEN rent the same accommodation to a fellow MP so that he/she can also claim expenses without either of you blushing at all?

Q9. Can you, with no embarrassment whatsoever, bugger off for a month to be on a reality TV programme, (whilst claiming your publicly paid salary AND a £40K pay-off), despite your responsibilities to the fools constituents who elected you to represent them?

Q10. Do you believe that we entered the EU legally?

If you answered yes to one or more questions, congratulations!! You are in!

You have all the qualities desired to make you an ineffectual, money-grabbing, power-abusing, unaccountable, non-responsible Member of Parliament.

Coming up next week: how to join Common Purpose, graduate with flying colours and confirm to the world that you are a complete cunt.

~This has been a public service announcement sponsored by our old friend, rage~



Sike said...

ineffectual, money-grabbing, power-abusing, unaccountable, non-responsible Member of Parliament.

You forgot mendacious and shameless

Captain Ranty said...

Sorry Sike.

Bloggers "Too many adjectives in one sentence!" klaxon was deafening me.

I had to stop in order to vomit. Twice.


Andrew said...

Pff, is that it?

I view the taxpayers as nothing more than cattle to be milked then slaughtered for profit.

I'll lie, I'll cheat, I'll steal, I'll do whatever it takes to get and keep power.

My principles are those of the highest bidder.

There are absolutely no differences between me and my colleagues in other parties.

I am your average politician.

Caratacus said...

Well observed Cap'n.

May I suggest a couple more?

"Am I willing to appear on 'Question Time' and confirm everyone's suspicion that I am a waffling know-nothing cunt who blindly follows the party line? Whichever way it's blowing that week?"

"Am I willing to shag anything with a pulse?" (Anything without a pulse too, it would appear, if one is special friends with disgraced former BBC DJs...)

pa_broon74 said...

Pretty much every thing listed also points at potential politicians being scored quite high on the Bob Hare Psychopath test.

They could add your questions to the test in order to to improve it.

The actual Bob Hare test details here:

Anonymous said...

Could use that one as a tie breaker.
Paris Claims

James Higham said...

I failed miserably - 0/10.

Anonymous said...

Hi Capt,

I'd also put the following:

Q? - Are you prepared to allow the continuing migration of non European peoples into the UK which will result in the continuing demolition of indigenous peoples and their culture?

Q? - Are you prepared to see the continuing movement of homegrown industry to former soviet block countries, not forgetting India and China, resulting in the continuing loss of jobs within the UK?

Q? - Are you prepared to continue the global warming agenda, nothing but a cash cow for the banking and corporate elites?

Q? - Are you prepared to be a supporter of Zionism and lobbyist for them and big corporations?

Q? - Are you prepared to follow agenda 21 and all its programmes including the continuing killing off of the world's population through deadly vaccines, chemical spraying from the skies, world wars, abortions and controlled population as they have in China?

Q? - Are you prepared to swear allegiance to Socialism and its main tenet of total control of the world's populous through a scientific godhood of complete totalitarianism?

Q? - Are you prepared to swear allegiance to the crown even though the queen has failed in every coronation oath thus committing treason and in your support will be committing compound treason?

Of course there are more but this was off the top of my head cap't.
Wouldn't it be great of we could get this list of questions onto major publications so a wider scope of people could read it? I suggest that you mail this to most blogs you know, not forgetting the UK Column, TPUC and other truth movements.



William said...

Fear... explained a bit... worth a read?

Oh yes... unless you are scared!

F***W*T TW****R said...

I once took a badger dicky back riding so can I be a Polly Titian? OK, I'm not a thieving, lieing, cheating, deceiving, money grubbing shithole, but hey, the world of smoke and mirrors needs alsorts don't it?

Anonymous said...

Gordon Robb, Trading Standards Manager Highland Council is guilty as he procures young children aged between 15½ and 16½ years old to break laws for Highland Council.