November 30, 2012

Friday Funnies

The Leveson Report. Now that was fucking funny.

£6 million pounds. It contains 2,000 pages and that works out at £3,000 per page. What isn't funny is that we taxpayers stumped up the cash. Fucking marvelous.

Have some pix to cheer you up:

Birds shitting on cars. An age old problem.

Christmas gag.

I sincerely hope that the chap has a sweaty back. Because if that is not sweat, it is...ewww!

This was a good day for Danny Nightingale. I am super-glad he is free again.

The reason Clegg wants to implement Leveson's recommendations.

How much the West cares about Syria. If only they had oil.....

Or, you can just tell them all to fuck off.

This is actual research and for once, it is true.

Speak English? Sure. You might want to correct your spelling though.

Many a word said in jest...

Winnie pans the lefties.

Late entrant (fnaar fnaar):

In other news, I am having my liver scanned this morning. With a bit of luck they will find one, although, I do not have a candle lit for this discovery. My plan was always to use the little fucker to its maximum. These organs are supposed to be used before we clock off. Puritans please note.

UPDATE: I have a liver! The scan nursey said that the letter from the doctor mentioned "persistent liver trouble". The lying twat. I have had four liver function tests in 22 years. Only the last one three weeks ago indicated that something may be amiss. All other tests recorded normal activity. Doctors: the new politicians? They are firmly on my list of people not to be believed.

Have a restful weekend.



opsimath said...

Thanks for the chuckles and good luck with the scan, Cap'n. I had a kidney ultrasound yesterday and was surprised to find I still was in possession of both, albeit a bit past their best-by date.


James Higham said...

Love the Walken - the top one is gross, Cap'n.

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks lads.


Anonymous said...

"UPDATE: I have a liver!"

Think that calls for trebles all round, Captain! ;-)

They tried to put me on statins the last time I went. They failed!



Dioclese said...

Give-a-fuck-ometer shamefully nicked for my own purposes!!

Dioclese said...

Just a thought : if Americans speak english, why is there an American language dictionary?

Who was it said that the USA took the english language and raped it? Samuel Johnson?

Anonymous said...

His T-shirt seems to suggest "try an ale" while her's seems to say "try anal". Typo, just a trick of the camera or for real????

Anonymous said...

Saturday funnies:

The Scottish Government in the Shit.

Anonymous said...

Captn great your liver is good for a hundred years.

thanks for puting up link.

The canvass for the Electoral Register takes place between 1 September and 1 December each year. A new Register is published on 1 December.

YIPEEE another year without signing their blasted Voter Registration form.

Woodsy42 said...

Just a suggestion: Your doctor might be on your side. If they minimise the importance of a test to the hospital then you wait months, his 'persistent' might have been to get it done quickly.