July 11, 2012

Open Thread (And Some Pix)

On Thursday I climb aboard the big silver bird and head south. I will be back a week on Saturday but will try to blog from sunny (and rainy) Lagos.

In the meantime, have some pictures:

Click for embigulation where required.

Little bastards. I have two active wasp nests and they are not exactly friendly.

Good work fella.

Ain't that the truth.

Must be faked, but if it were real, I would not be surprised in the least.

Little Billy was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

I hear that, Tommy.

I know this to be true.

Extreme comb-over? Foxy move fella.

Gratuitous arse shot.

Disturbing. Very disturbing.

Must have got dressed in the dark.

Late entry:


Please feel free to post any interesting/funny/worrying stuff in the comments.

Be well,



Anonymous said...

Fear of wasps, I can relate to. Bees, some fear, but at least they seem responsive to conversation, say to it you're not there to disturb or harm it and it might not bother attacking. But wasps and hornets, a totally different situation. They are born angry and stay that way their whole lives, there is no reasoning with them, just freeze, hope they don't hit and if you swat, just hope and pray the rest don't see it and come attacking in swarms. I wouldn't wish a wasp or hornet's nest on even my worst enemy, that is the state of fear they produce in me. And the only good way to get rid of them is dress extremely well covered late at night, after dark and in cooler temperatures, climb up a ladder near the nest w/o getting too close, quickly spray some petrol on the nest and quickly throw a flame at it, then hope you can douse the fire before it catches hold of the house to which it was attached - the only good way to get rid of the f*ckers.

Captain Ranty said...

I was happy with that, right up until I got to the petrol part!

The little shits have built a house in my house. I did the late at night ladder thing and emptied a can of wasp spray through the gap under the eaves.

The carnage was awful. Dozens of 'em fell out. Dead as door-nails.

I feel quite bad about it, actually.


Kynon said...


The other way to deal with a wasp's nest is to get the expanding-foam type nest destroyer, and spray it up the hole (as it were). Usually very effective - and if you are fortunate, some sort of device can be rigged up so that you don't have to get *too* close to the bastards. Otherwise it's a full-body-coverage job.

Leg-iron said...

The last picture is a device to make sure you get a tan where they sun don't (normally) shine.

Except for the two white dots it will leave.

Captain Ranty said...


The second nest is out in the open. It is in an ivy plant covering my garage. The danger element is increased to a whole new level. Full coverage needed to deal with that one.

I'll build up to it slowly, then charge in like a lunatic.


Captain Ranty said...


So, even that device has flaws...

At my time of life, no-one is getting that intimate with my crack.

I think I'll cancel my order.


William said...

Stop Letting People Who Do So Little For You Control So Much Of Your Mind, Feelings And Emotions

If someone like Mr Will Smith can figure this out why can't YOU!

Kynon said...


You probably need something like this:


You can rig a device using a couple of bits of timber, some gaffa tape, and a broom handle, so that you can put the nozzle of the can under the nest entrance, and discharge the can without getting *too* close. We used that sort of arrangement for a wasp's nest that was in a rhododendron (I think) bush at the bottom of my folks' garden.

The one in a bush under the kitchen window was a "full-body-coverage, sneak-up-under-cover-of-twilight, spray-an-entire-can-of-RAID-up-it, twat-it-with-a-stick-and-run-like-fuck job. Usain Bolt wouldn't have stood a chance in that race!

James Higham said...

Look after yourself now.

Jay said...

To deal with them nasty wasps, you need smoke. Lots of smoke. Perfect job for smokers.*

So get as many smokers as you can find, plus also a few shisha smokers would be helpful here, light up and blow smoke at the nests until all the little wasps are sleepy and docile.

Then bash the fuck out of the nest with a stick until their all dead.

Also, be sure that you're intoxicated and/or tripping on acid. This will help reduce any fear you might have in attempting this stupid stunt, plus enhance the experience greatly due to laughing maniacally, as well as help dull the pain from the hundreds of wasp stings you're like to suffer if you do this.

*Do not try this at home, kids.

profoundly_disturbed said...

Best wasp deterent I've used is spray contact adhesive on and in the nest, never saw another wasp going in or out!