July 06, 2012

I Got Humped

Predictably so, some would argue.

I turned up, made life a little awkward for the court usher as I only gave him my first name. He said I wasn't due to appear, but he found me eventually.

Into court, packed again with people in track-suits, took a seat. Around 10:30 my case was called, I stood up and walked to the dock. The court recorder asks my name (Are you so and so?), I don't speak, then she asks my address (Do you live at so and so?), again I don't speak. There's no point as she isn't really looking at me or listening to me. The Justice of the Peace is staring hard at me, weighing me up (I thought), just like he did with all the other cases. I noted his slight surprise that I had dressed well.

The JP says take a seat. I did not sit. Having watched the previous 6 cases they sit for a nanosecond before being told to stand up again. I figure I have saved us all some time.

JP says, "Do you still intend to go to trial?"

I say, "I am here to settle this matter today".

JP: "So you are pleading guilty to both charges?"

Me: "Both charges? What is the second charge?"

JP looks a little surprised and asks the Procurator Fiscal (Depute) something. It was almost a whisper, I didn't hear what he said. The PF Depute then jumps up and reads out the charges. The PF Depute stumbles and mumbles and has trouble reading. He looks around 18.

JP says, "Do you want to tell us about your circumstances?  Do you work? And who for? Tell us about that".

Me: "It's irrelevant to this case".

JP: "Fair enough, let's move on".

He reads, he scribbles, he stares at me again, purses his lips, shakes his head.

JP says "I find you guilty of both charges: speeding and refusing to complete the Notice of Intended Prosecution. 3 points and £100 fine for the speeding, reduced to £80, 6 points for failing to complete the NIP and £360 fine reduced to £320".

9 points. 400 quid. I was a little shell-shocked, but I rallied a little.

Me: "Don't you think that is excessive?"

JP: "No, I, er, no. No, it is a statutory thing. Why do you ask?"

Me: "I ask because only last year a serving policeman walked out of court with no fine and no points after having been caught driving his own vehicle at 155mph on the motorway. The JP just gave him a wry grin".

JP: "That means nothing in here today".

Me: "So not ALL are equal before the law then? (I pause here, then say), I will appeal this".

JP: "You may appeal but it will do no good. It's a statutory thing".

Me: "Statutes aren't everything. I will appeal. This is ludicrous".

JP: "Appeal if you wish. We are done. Fill in the form the usher has for you".

Court Recorder: "Speak to a solicitor".

Me: "I cannot engage a solicitor because of the nature of the defences I intend to use".

I leave the court and get shown into an ante-room.

Now, something good happened just after I started filling in the form, but I want to keep it to myself for a moment. The short story is that a court official gave me some great advice and support but I don't want to identify him/her at this stage. They read my blog, and I do not want that kindly soul to get into any trouble. I'll take advice offline and fill you in if I can.

Is it all over? Do I lie down and die?

Hell, no. It's a setback to be sure, but there's a lot of mileage in this old rebel yet. I have several solid arguments to deploy during this appeal phase.

Lessons learnt?

The court does not tell you everything and it does not show you everything. Had I known about the 6 point thing I may well have continued to Trial. How much worse could it get?

Never overdress. Blend in with the surrounding chavs. Wear (dirty) tracksuits. Look pitiful. Do not have a job. (Your fines will be lower than usual and your benefits will be docked, which makes collection easy for all concerned).

Reasons to be cheerful: The Procurator Fiscal owes me £30,000. I had informed him on three or four occasions that I would make a special appearance but I demanded £15,000 for each appearance. He did not disagree. I will produce and send a bill to his office. If nothing else, he will pay more bloody attention when people send him Notices in the future.

I will swear out an affidavit laying out the reasons why these penalties do not apply to me. I may end up back in court at some point but I expect to emerge a winner. The mission, as it always must be, is to win without the need to attend a court hearing. That is my goal.

So, that was my morning, what did you get up to?


PS-DD, I will delete all your comments. Just stay away.


Kennywhizz said...

Hope you do well.

I'm still not sure if the best option is not to say anything at all??
I think, were I to come into contact with all these people that I would much prefer not to engage with any of them.
No doubt I am wrong though:))
Usually am LOL

Anonymous said...


Good points made, especially about the speeding pig walking free. The system takes care of its own.

It's a grinder in those public theft courts. It's a case of heads they win tails you lose. The only chance you have is a jury which they'll deny.
Again, who staffs the court? Yup, the people, doing what they're best at - shafting others for financial reward.



Captain Ranty said...


They have that covered: there is an old legal maxim which states "Silence gives consent".

I tried to use pauses to good effect but they don't always work. Today a pause added some spice, but it is a fine line to tread.


Captain Ranty said...


You were right all along. This was never going to end well, for the reasons you point out here.

They do circle the wagons. The looks, the sideways looks they give each other needs to be seen to be believed.

Let's see how the appeals process pans out. I don't intend to roll over on this and I will at least, give them a hard time.


nala said...

Ok cap'n you have me baffled on your approach, lolol, but will wait for the next installment.

James Higham said...

Cap'n, you're a brave soul. I've done my little bit of civil disobedience this year but shall keep it to myself. Nothing like your situation.

This is wrong what is happening.

pitano1 said...

hi capt.
well done m8.

now you know what its like to hold a tiger by the tail..l.o.l

you were the only star in the
`star chamber`

all the best for the next installment.

well done,for not bending over.

Oldrightie said...

Sounds promising and still courageous, Cap'n.

Anonymous said...

Good luck Cap'n

Anonymous said...

3 points and £100 fine for speeding, 6 points and £360 fine for failing to complete the NIP. So in the eyes of the law not filling out a form is a more serious offence than speeding? One has to wonder what they are more concerned with?

Anonymous said...

Give 'em fcuking hell Captain. I think you did bloody well today against a totally corrupted system. Keep grinding away at the bastards.


Richard said...

Well done Captain. Every little against these bastards helps us all.

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks all. Some great comments.

It's a little nerve-racking coming up against the machine but I felt a lot calmer this time around.

Another 25 appearances and I will be like Petrocelli.....


handymanphil said...

Ranty, I will email you privately my friend ;)

Happy Slave said...

That was one helluva performance, i feel like shedding a tear for you captain.

we fight for freedom.
we feel nothing without freedom.
we ask are self what is freedom and the freedom answer us ' To do what ever you want by right.
we called all the world to came with freedom.
freedom make you fly like the birld without chain.
we fight the crule for freedom until sunshine.
without freedom the world will be dark.
we ask the freedom to come to us closely.
we have to take the freedom for us and for all the world.
the sunshine for the world and the moon became more brighten.

God bless you.

William said...

3 points and £100 fine for speeding, 6 points and £360 fine for failing to complete the NIP. So in the eyes of the law not filling out a form is a more serious offence than speeding? One has to wonder what they are more concerned with?

all the court was doing was maximising the profit to be made from a slave which trnasgressed one of the United Kingdoms codes.

Realise this
Judge... works for UK Ltd
Prosecutor... works for UK Ltd
Defendant doesn't.

The game is rigged.
Ask the judge/magistrate three questions.
Will I get a fair trial in this court today?
They have to say YES.

Will I get a fair trial here if there is a conflict of interest?
They have to say NO.

Well sir/madam this prosecuting officer represents the state who do you represent?

Odds are you will be out of that court so fast your feet won't touch. Especially if you have a couple of friends in suits sat in t'public gallery taking copious notes.

Woodsy42 said...

Not completing the form is far more serious. Speeding is trivial and often accidental/spur of the moment. Failing to complete the form is a sign of non-compliance and it insults authority.

Anonymous said...

Glad above all else that you're still standing, Captain, even with all that.

Money, money, money.

I haz emailed you also, with some more thoughts.



Anonymous said...

welldone cap,its one thing talking about the machine and another being faced by the machine,
nervousness and intimidation tends to make the mind go blank
until you become used to it.
i take courage reading your blog mate.

Steven UK said...

"The short story is that a court official gave me some great advice and support but I don't want to identify him/her at this stage. They read my blog, and I do not want that kindly soul to get into any trouble."

Be careful Capt. They may have been assigned to lead you down an unwelcome path.

Anonymous said...

if they had no evidence of who was driving the dual charging was wrong in law. check out the Hatton case on baili - Neutral Citation Number: [2008] EWHC 209 (Admin) CO/4649/2007


Anonymous said...

Hope your 'insider' can help. If you haven't heard it you need to hear Ben Lowrey in conversation with Dean Clifford on YouTube. It should give you some more ideas.

Woodsy42 said...

Been thinking...
Licence points are only applicable to a driving offense.
The only other 'not actually on the road' offense that can get 6 points is 'failing to identify the driver'. (and they are discretionary, so you were stitched up).
The table is here: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/travelandtransport/highwaycode/dg_069870
But did you fail to identify yourself? If not they can't do it under English rules.

Anonymous said...

Keep up the fight, you're doing great!
The system is de-facto.
Keep reading Blacks Law Dictionary.
Do you understand the charges means do you agree with these charges.
File Sui Juris, not Pro Se.
Question the jurisdiction of the Crown's prosecutor. Ask him to provide evidence you were engaged in a contract with the Crown. Ask him to bring in a payroll receipt. Otherwise, you were in Private, not Public.


Anonymous said...

Captain, get blog have been reading it for some time, im very interested in :-" The short story is that a court official gave me some great advice and support but I don't want to identify him/her at this stage. "
as one who is up against the wall could do with a little help please.