April 28, 2010

Egg, Meet Face

Courtesy of El Reg comes this tale of green fuckwittery.

Seems that the Kalifornians wanted to build a zero energy house.

So they built this super looking dwelling. They used all the latest techniques, goaded on by the tree-huggers.

Looks pretty, does it not?

Trouble is, it uses 30% MORE ENERGY than a normal home. How I lolled!

You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried.

And before the Greenies descend in droves, we at Ranty Barracks recycle. We walk when we can. We don't litter. We turn off lights and equipment not in use. Hell, we even have a slop bucket. (Have done for a year or two now. God Bless the Scotch Greenies).

But your 'umble Captain flies 30 times a year so that destroys all the good works.

Time for a new slogan, I reckon. Here is my suggestion:

"The Greens. Destroying the planet one house at a time".

I'll want paying if you use it.



microdave said...

We are not including the use of natural gas or water into our "Zero Energy" calculations. The "Zero Energy" refers to electrical use only.

Talk about being economical with the truth!!!

On that basis my ancient Fiat Panda is a zero emission vehicle, as I'm not going to mention the petrol I put in the tank....

Captain Ranty said...


You sound perfect for the Greens! You can already speak with forked tongue!

They'll be sniffing around here soon. I won't be surprised if you email me to say you've been headhunted...:)


microdave said...

Nah, they wouldn't have me - the Panda's a 4x4!!!

I keep hoping one of them will try and put some of their stickers on it, or harangue me for killing polar bears.

Then I'll have some fun by tying them to the "fuck off" size tow hitch, and going for a spin across a muddy field...

Captain Ranty said...

Such a shame. You could have been our man on the inside!


microdave said...

I could always remove the identifying stickers and badges - I very much doubt that the average tree hugger would notice the extra propshaft and differential...

O/T, but whats happened to your blog? It only seems to be showing 3 posts at a time. The blog roll continues down the LHD side, with empty space beside it. This post is now on the second page - "Older Posts"

Captain Ranty said...

You can blame Marvo for that. He "guided" me on speeding up the load time of the blog. I reduced the posts to three to help that effort.

I'll boost it back up to 5 and see how we get on.


microdave said...

It loads adequately fast for me. Text is quick, it's the wigets and images that slow things down...

Captain Ranty said...

I didn't think I had any widgets!

Everytime I try to install one I break something...

microdave said...

No, I wasn't suggesting you had! But some other sites (dare not mention names) have so many extras that it can take 15-20 seconds to fully load them.

Bishop Hills blog maybe a very plain layout, but benefit is that it loads virtually instantly.

I used to run a little monitoring programme which showed in real time the amount of bandwidth being used. It was horrifying how much some web pages and the "glossier" blogs used. It doesn't really bother me, as I'm on an unlimited contract, but those with limited D/L allowances could easily find themselves going over the top.

Flashblock & AdBlock Plus help to keep some of the excessive content under control when using Firefox.