April 29, 2010

Brown Brain Scan Leaked

Apparently this image, using state of the art technology, was captured seconds after the Brown Gorgon got caught showing his true feelings for the British electorate. Lord Fondlebottom has been working overtime to stop it getting out ensure every newspaper in the land gets a copy.

Leading brain surgeon Ivor Scalpel said, allegedly, "A rage like this would kill a normal person. Only someone who is used to erupting like this can withstand the damage done to millions of synaptic connections. Of course, previous eruptions have rendered this man gormless. I don't know whose image this is but if I were to guess, I'd say you had a gibbering idiot on your hands. The slavering poltroon this image comes from is not capable of rational thought or responsibility, and obviously sweeps up somewhere. Badly. And yes, we surgeons do use language like that when we know it won't be printed. What? It will be? Oh shit!".

Tomorrow we cut Cleggy Boy in half to see if it says EU EU EU EU EU EU all the way through the middle, and on Saturday we are using sodium pentathol on CMD's personal doctor in order to find out if he has a pair. At all.



Rob F said...

Despite being a believer in the Sky Fairy, I'm not generally given to God bothering.

Every time I see a picture of Sarah Brown, though, I feel a need to beseech God to give her strength during these dark times (not the election campaign - I mean her marriage).

Oh, what do I know? Maybe he has virtues that only she, and other people far kinder than me, can discern. I reckon that I'm on safe ground though by assuming that none of those virtues qualify him to be Prime Minister of the UK (or whatever region of the EU we are at the moment).

Maybe he likes puppies and kittens, and only throws his Nokias gently towards them as he uses them for target practice. Perhaps he always volunteers to wash the dishes and despite being nearly blind, always stacks them correctly through the power of The Force.

That doesn't mean that he has the ability to organise a piss-up in a brewery, though. Unless of course it's a piss-up that involves sticking to imaginary alcohol units and miles of red tape, whilst still mysteriously managing to go several times over the allocated booze budget. For the entire 21st century.

Maybe he could go into the fertilizer business. There must be at least some business opportunities available to people who can turn everything they touch into shit.

Captain Ranty said...


I agree. With pretty much all of your comment.

I don't think he is a bad man, he is just inept or very unlucky.

This was a cheap dig at him. I was itching to use the ash cloud picture as well.

I have probably just lost 50 karma points.

It was worth it though.

He gave our country away. Without asking. I will never forgive him (or the others, LibDems and Tories included) as long as I live.