July 10, 2011

Sunday Funny Sunday

Just found a new blog via Twitter. (It is good for some things after all...).

If you have a twisted sense of humour, swing by and read some of his stuff.

Many of these one-liners had me spitting coffee:

"Ned’s looking good today in his Daffy Duck swimming trunks. Here he comes now with a big jug of Rola Cola and a hard on.

Had a romantic walk with Maureen up to the gasometers. Did a goalie kick with my chewing gum & fell on my arse. “Prat”, she said, lovingly.

“Hi Arthur. How’s trix?” “My piles are playing up, the shingles are back, my feet hurt & I think I’ve got scurvy. Apart from that I’m fine.”

Anyway, I’m off to bed now with a mug of cocoa and my copy of Fred Dinenage’s incredible autobiography, “Are These my Slacks?”. Sleep tight.

My hair hurts. My mouth’s like the inside of a tram driver’s glove & I look like I’ve just emerged from a hostage situation.

Doing the Sunday roast for me & Maureen. Roast beef, gravy, carrots, peas & Yorkshires – Lidl frozen ready meal. £1. Can’t go wrong there.

Sat in the park earlier with a can of Red Stripe and a CurlyWurly. One-lung Ray jogged past singing Eye of the Tiger. God I admire him.

Saw Janice too, flirting in her lemon velour romper suit & silver slingbacks. Her easy glamour always brings the boys to the yard.

Maureen just did a squeaky guff while hanging some clothes. “Did you just blow off?” “No. Must’ve been the clothes horse”. Unbelievable."

The names Flange, Bert Flange.

Definitely a nugget in the slag-heap.


CR.

12 comments:

Sue said...

Very good. Kind of Ronnie Barker meets lateral joking! :)

Anonymous said...

Ex Principal Intelligence Analyst Tony Farrel: 7/7 WAS AN INSIDE JOB

A Principal Intelligence Analyst for South Yorkshire Police has spoken out about the July 7th '05 London Bombings. Tony Farrell who has served for the police since 1998 is convinced as he can be that the bombings were a false flag attack carried out by intelligence agencies

http://www.richplanet.net/starship.php
updates-7/7 inside job.


In July 2010 he was asked to compile a threat assessment report for South Yorkshire Police. His own research lead him to believe the major threat in the UK today is from an "internal tyranny" which the public are slowly finding out about.

Anonymous said...

Charles Kennedy MP and the CIA
He was a Fulbright scholarship student at the University of Indiana, USofA.
Many Fulbright students are recruited to the CIA.
Google : CIA fulbright scholarship

In September 2007 Charles Kennedy was unanimously elected President of the European Movement in Britain.
The European Movement www.euromove.org.uk is a Marxist organisation intent on the downfall of Britain as a soverign state.
Google : CIA European Movement

the doctor said...

Thank you so , so much for the link to Bert Grunge ; after 30 minutes I can stand no more. It now hurts me to laugh so I will just give it 5 more minutes .

bryboy said...

Heh Cap'n, On a very different theme. Tks for your thoughts in my direction! I really appreciated ur input. I'm not that strong... we just have to cope my friend as you must know. I am always on your team but I don't have ur balls (my wife insists on it}!!

Anonymous said...

"There was a kid standing at the bus stop tonight with a cleft lip. He was eating a Toblerone, which slid in, unhindered."

Laughed so much I weed a lil bit. I'm going to hell, aren't I :)

Captain Ranty said...

Sue,

I love that weird humour.

Makes I larf, it does.

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Anon,

Thanks for the links. I go now to check them out.

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Doc,

The man is wonderfully nutty!

Pleased that you got your laugh-muscles working.

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Bry,

Strength can be measured in many ways. I am very, very sad for your loss.

A son should outlive his father.

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Anon (00:48),

I'll be queuing up next to you with stained underwear.

CR.

Caratacus said...

Captain - a thousand thanks for the link to Bert Flange. Not often I laugh out loud at stuff I read on the interwebby thing, but I did with this one.

I suspect you have found the Pepys for our times :-)