January 21, 2011

Toodle-Pip!

I are orf on my travels again.

But it should be exciting. The picture says so...













And they should know. This is the hotel I am staying at. The manager assures me it will be ready by the time I check in tomorrow afternoon. I was told that it was a three star hotel but having consulted the Africa-Europe Hotel Star Chart, it turns out to be nearly a one star place. I've ordered hot & cold running nymphets. They may or may not be delivered to my room. I'll let you know.

It's not just a job this, it's a fucking adventure.

Just to annoy the anti-smokers, I have also asked where in the hotel it is possible to smoke.

Here is a comprehensive list: everywhere.

Play nice while I'm gone. The Borg would want that.

CR.

17 comments:

Oldrightie said...

Have a good trip, Cap'n.

Captain Ranty said...

Grassy arse, OR.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, hotel and pub without roof and walls - they should have that in UK as smoking would be allowed there too. Nice trip - enjoy the nymphettes.

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks Anon.

Bucko said...

At least the air con works. Have a good trip

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks matey!

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Been there. Great place.

Last time I was there I asked a friendly arab what would happen if I burnt their national flag in the street, in the same way that Arabs burn ours in London.

"You would not make it out of the square alive", came the reply.

Have a good one, and don't deface any pictures of the Great Leader. The spies are everywhere.

Dioclese said...

How was the Visa hassle? We looked at going there but getting a visa was a nightmare - we would have to go to the embassy in London to be fingerprinted!!

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks Killem.

I nearly got bitten by a huge snake at Leptis Magna. Cheeky bastard. I always marvel at the roads the Romans built. 2,000 years old and not a pothole in sight.

My driver always points out new pictures of the Leader. Odd that he always looks thirty years younger....

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

D,

Unkie Moummar has suspended all Business Visa's. I am travelling on a Tourist Visa. It means I don't have to go to the Embassy to show them my bank accounts.

That, and you are through Immigration in two minutes. Usually it's an hour at least.

If you need help with a Visa give me a shout. I can sort it for you.

CR.

Jacobite said...

Have fun and stay safe

Anonymous said...

Have a fag and a nymphette for me.
At the moment I would settle for some sun on my chops.
Enjoy.

Woodsy42 said...

I went to Monet's garden in France last year, the nymphettes were very disappointing, not at all what I had hoped to see. Hope you do better.

Captain Ranty said...

Thanks Jacobite.

Captain Ranty said...

Cheers Anon.

That sun does make a difference.

I often wonder what Brits would be like if they were warm all the time.

That global warming,eh? What a fucking let-down.

CR.

Captain Ranty said...

Woodsy,

I doubt that I will do any better!

The "working girls" are usually Egyptian or Tunisian, and they are erm, slightly heavier than yer average chick.

Hell, let's not beat about the bush here, they are big, fat bastards.

And they'll do you for a quid.

So I've been told.

CR.

Derek said...

A quid? And the cost of medication??
Don't go 'there' - safe journey!