May 04, 2012

Friday Funnies

Thought we could do with some piccies to take us into the weekend.

If you don't like my captions, feel free to suggest your own. There's democracy in action.

How's that hosepipe ban workin' out for ya?

I guess we'll never know.....

That's nothing. I can turn water into piss....

One for the geeks.

Prickly bastard, this one.

Now this is pretty damn punny.

LibDem voters just didn't know what to do....

Any time now. Then he'll move on to taxing face-palms.

Gotta love all that safety gear they are wearing....

And finally..

One for the IT wallah's.

Have a bodacious weekend.



Anonymous said...

ranty.. i usually can't wait for the friday funnies...

fav is the 'og' .. but the sperm one made me think... surely 4G is more regular than 'once a month especially when it now takes forever after 'docking' your drive stick

pretty slow data transfer actually..

bob m

F***W*T TW****R said...

Ah yes, 'fresh air', well C.R. I thinks that's probably covered by the 'Carbon Theft' tax. Have a good weekend C.R. I'm going to get p1553d

William said...

A little Friday illustration following on from TSL's 'rant at the stupid'.

Background... I am selling my late mothers home and informed the local Council (Corporation) that the home is empty as a matter of courtesy nothing more. They have asked for confirmation that the home is empty on three occasions over the past eighteen months(ignored twice and replied YES once) and asked to see 'proof of probate for their records' (this latter request has been totally ignored by my good self).

Well today a letter appeared from the councils contractors Liberata and here is how it breaks down. Pay attention children...

The Liberata address is bounded by a solid box (4 corner rule. Google it) It is addressed to the The Owner/Occupants with the full street address of the house again bounded by a solid box. It then demands, in block caps, that the form should be completed in block caps and returned within 21 days of issue. (Why block caps? Google it!)

Question 1 mentions a 'dwelling' and a 'main residence' in the same sentence (get out Blacks Law on the lawfulrebellion site)
Question 2 mentions 'dwelling', 'property' and 'main home'. (Blacks Law again)
It goes on "please state the names of all persons aged 18 and over who have made their main home in this dwelling AND who either have an interest in the property or who are a permanent partner of someone who has an interest in it.

What is an interest? (Honestly I have no idea.)
And they obfuscate 'home' 'dwelling' 'property' are all very different things and yet they are all used here as though they mean exactly the same thing.
Then come a series of boxes that 'should' be filled in (4 corner rule & caps) detailing the names and addresses of the 'people' who live there.

Turning the page we get 'The person(s) liable to pay council tax regarding your dwelling will normally be those persons who have an interest in your dwelling which is nearest to the top of the following list;

Here's the list in caps no less.
Next is a list of DISCOUNT DISREGARDS (I haven't figured out what these two words actually mean)
Then it says 'You may (which is bold and underlined) be eligible for a discount blah blah.

Penultimately there is yet another bounded box containing a DECLARATION which they expect someone to fill in ALL CAPS thus hanging the council tax liability the Council (corporation) has created out of thin air on whoever is daft enough to fill in and sign the councils (corporations) declaration.

The final two sentences are back to all caps and the first asks for the form to be returned TO THE ADDRESS OVERLEAF within 21 days of issue and the second asks that the COUNCIL TAX OFFICE is informed immediately of any changes to the contents that have just been filled in.

To sum it all up.
The letter is NOT ADDRESSED TO A NAME nor a human.
The only bits that matter to the council (corporation) are sealed off by the solid bounding boxes and the four corner rule.
The council's (corporation's) author uses the words dwelling, home, residence, property,resident, freehold owner, leasehold owner, tenant, licensee, you,partner, persons, people in a seemingly incoherent fashion. It is either deliberately worded to confuse or has been written by an imbecile. I favour the former but cannot discount the latter.

So all you mugs who still believe that voting is the answer to the ills that face the people of the British Isles please tell me why I should fill this form in and pay a liability that the council (corporation) has created on an empty and unoccupied home when the reality is I am nothing more than a peaceful inhabitant trying to sell the property that is actually owned by a legal entity... the estate of my late mother.

William said...

Posted twice because crappy blogger said the word verification was wrong!

CR please remove one copy.