Taking Stock

I do this regularly, but this is the first time I have done it here.

It makes sense, sometimes, to have a look at where you came from, where you are now, and where you are headed. The last bit is the hardest.

I was born in 1962. By 1966 my family was in South Africa. I later learnt that this was the worst time (to be black) in S.A but I was a child and had no clue at the time. It was normal to me that white kids went to this school and black kids went to that school. During our 11 years in Africa I went to 13 different schools. Most of those were segregated by sex as well as race. My dad was a pipe fitter and worked in construction. Every time a site was completed, we moved on. New town for all, new school for us kids, and a new site for dad. We averaged about 9 months in any city or town. For most of my school life I was the newbie.

Regrets? None.

I got to see a bit of the world and it gave me a taste for more. We returned to the UK in 1977 where I did my last year at school, started an apprenticeship (as an Industrial Sewing Machine mechanic) but quit two years in to go into the caring profession. I worked for a year in a home for disabled servicemen and applied for a job as a Registered Mental Nurse. I surprised myself by getting the highest marks out of 40 entrants that year. I also applied to join the army at the same time and promised myself that I would take the first firm offer. The army "won" by four days. Either way, (I rationalised my decision), I was going to be working with nutters. I was right.

My 7 years in the army were a blast. I had more laughs than any man has a right to, and I made some fantastic friends. Many of whom I am still in contact with today via various forums.

When I left the army I spent 6 months installing mobile phones into cars. Although I wasn't too good at this, I did see that my then employer was doing a shit job. I used my final salary cheque (around £2000) to launch my own firm with 2 or 3 friends. By the end of year 3 I had made a million. The downside was that I was reinvesting every penny back into the business. I worked 14-18 hours a day and took only enough salary to pay our bills. Being self-employed is not as glamorous as some people may think.

Then, a mini-recession in 1989 caused me to shut down the business and declare bankruptcy. I went out of business owing £28K but I was owed around £65K by debtors. I raised six high court actions and won every single one of them. Despite the wins, I did not receive a single penny. By this time I had moved my family to Scotland where personal bankruptcy lasts three years. Every month I kicked in several hundred pounds to pay off my debts. Those that owed me money paid me fuck all.

I started working offshore (when I had been discharged from my bankruptcy) and the money flowed in. I missed my kids growing up as I was away in some weird part of the world for the next 11 years. In 2000 I tried my hand at sales and business development and I was (am) surprisingly good at it. I am one of very, very few people who will go anywhere in the world to do this job, but particularly Africa, where a lot of guys just don't want to go. This (usually) means 3rd world nations where security can be compromised at the drop of a hat. I like to think I have a modicum of common sense and this, combined with my military experience, has kept me out of trouble for the last 20 years. I have had a couple of close shaves and once evaded kidnap by just 30 seconds in Warri, Nigeria. The poor fucker that got snatched was held captive for 94 days and has never returned to West Africa.

As a satellite technician I was very happy. Satellite systems do not have an ego, they do not have politics, and they do not have personalities. They either work, or they don't, and I had a knack for making the unworking ones work. People are nowhere near as simple, but I do okay. I am a sociable man and like to blend in to whatever society I arrive in. I read the local papers, and I study the local politics. I surprise the hell out of Nigerians, Ghanaians, Cameroonians, the Congolese, Namibians, Tanzanians and South Africans with my local knowledge. It doesn't take long to get up to speed. I also try to learn a bit of each local language. I find it helps.

Next year (on 2nd January) I will start work for a new company. Unlike my present employer, they have decided that 40 years of African experience makes me the expert. They have given me carte blanche to do what I have to do to make them a success on the continent. It will mean that I can add to my growing list of countries visited (80 so far) and they will benefit from giving me a long leash. I have discovered that I bring home more bacon if I am left to do it my way.

All of the above is to bring you (eventually) to my point: the more freedom a person has, the better they will perform. I have seen this to be true countless times. Allow people to take responsibility and they will, more often than not, rise to the occasion.

But, having worked very hard, at great personal sacrifice, I spend more and more time being angry. Mostly at successive governments who care not one jot for me. Not as long as I keep giving them growing chunks of my salary.

Look:

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73% of my earnings are stolen from me every year. Does that seem fair to anyone? (Apart from fucking lefties, that is).

I have clawed my way up only to "voluntarily" hand over nearly two thirds of my sweat equity to an inept shower of arseholes 600 miles south of me. They waste my money (and yours) with unimagined skill. And what do we do about it? Nothing, mostly.

We presume that they have the right to help themselves. They do not.

Over the last five or six years I have said no. I have asked them to prove that I owe them any damned money and guess what? They cannot answer. They can only take what I want to give. If I say no, they write me a few snotty letters but they go away, empty-handed, eventually.

If they did not take 73% of my money I would be able to provide for all of my family's needs, and I would even be able to give money to certain charities. (Ones I knew weren't pissing the money away on themselves). Instead, as I race towards retirement (I know it's 15 years away but time sort of speeds up) I already know that having paid into the national pension scheme for over 32 years, I am unlikely to get what I need to feed, house and clothe me and my wife in our dotage. Had more of my salary been retained by me I would have been able to save much more for the rainy days to come.

So if you come here and read that I am moaning about money given by the government to Rwandan warlords, or for Indian space programmes, or to Brazilian diversity clinics, you will understand why.

BUT, I have my health. I have two wonderful sons and one wonderful wife. I have a great home, and I have no debts, apart from my mortgage. I wanted to write that I earn a decent wage, but most of it goes to wasteful politicians. I take nothing from the state. Which is why I resent "donating" such a huge amount to them. I noticed, over the years, that when I have £XXX coming in, to keep everyone happy, I make sure that we spend just under £XXX. It is a simple concept. I wonder, almost hourly, why the government doesn't get that. I also wonder if we all tried to keep more of our money, they would have less to waste. They would learn, the hard way, that if £XXX is all they have, then £XXX is all they can spend.

I want them to leave me alone. I am responsible for me and mine. If I make a mistake, I do not go running to the state to find out who is to blame, I look in a mirror. I eat, drink and smoke whatever I want. If I get ill, so be it. I have chipped in enough to be hospitalised and cared for for 20 years. But I don't. Despite their advice, I keep remarkably well. Like I said, I rely on them for nothing, even though I have paid for it dozens of times over.

I don't want to be watched by 5 million CCTV's. I don't want them reading my emails. I don't want them listening to, and transcribing, all of my phone calls. I certainly do not want to be spied on by drones, and that, my friends, is an all-too-real probability. Keep an eye on your airspace.

I don't want to be a European Citizen. I don't want any of my money funding such tomfoolery. I do not want to be subject to law conjured up by idiots in Brussels and Strasbourg, Christ knows, our lot in the HoC shit out enough legislation for 25 countries. Every year.

In summary, my life, and the lives of those I love, is in pretty good shape. Not because of the state, but despite them.

But our lives could be so much better.

And, since we only get the one life, isn't it worth being an awkward fucker while striving for that better life?

CR.