Exasperation Nation

Aspiration nation, Dave?

It's a nice wee catchphrase and no doubt coined to compete with Useless Ed Milibland's "One Nation" sound-bite the week before. Still, both will play well with the Tory/Labour drones. It doesn't actually mean anything, so what the fuck. It's yet more blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. It's white noise, Dave. It's irritating and you need to get a grip.

I think that if you ever left the bubble Dave, you would find there is a lot of exasperation doing the rounds.

This refusal of yours, for instance, to deliver on a promise made, has led to people distrusting you, and your familiars, in the future. You promised a referendum, Dave, and we still fucking want one. We desperately need one. We see the harm the Greeks, the Irish, the Spanish and the Portuguese have endured and we know that these countries are a dry powder keg and that you politicians are running around with lighted matches. You have no idea what's coming, do you Dave?

When you hear the BOOM! don't come running to us. We have been telling you the score for long enough now. Yes, yes, yes. We know that you are acting under orders from the goblin in Brussels but he won't fucking protect when the time comes.

No Dave, your pals, the only important pals you have, are right here in dear old Blighty. Yep. The same ones you swore an oath to work for. We. Us. The people. Remember?

If you want us to remain pals then you are going to have to haul ass. Get that referendum tee'd up and let's get this thing done. We want out. Massive numbers of British people want to do the only sensible thing left to do: run away from the EU screaming with joy. We like the Europeans, Dave. We go there on holiday. Some people have second homes there, they like it so much. Sure, we take the piss out of the French, the Germans and the Italians, but we still like them.

Just not enough to be married to them. Forever.

So yes, we do have aspirations, Davey. Here is a very short list.

We aspire to get out of the EU. We aspire that very, very much.

We aspire to be known as a nation tough on kiddie fiddlers. We really, really aspire the shit out of that one, Dave.

We aspire to have a police force that stands for decency and fairness. We not aspire, Davey, to have a police force that cheerfully looks the other way whilst our daughters are being raped.

We aspire to pay 10% or less in taxes, Dave. If you aspired as much as we do to cut the government down to a reasonable size, then our aspiration to cut out waste could be realised.

We aspire to have our freedoms back, Davey. We aspire to have less interference from a group of fuckwits in the House of commons. We aspire for nanny to fucking hang herself. Today.

We aspire to have fewer regulations Dave. Our small, medium and large businesses aspire to run those businesses without first having to read over 130,000 regulations and petty rules foisted on them.

We aspire, Dave, to walk around our cities without being fucking filmed every step of the bastard way. As aspirations go, removing those 5 million cameras is high on the fucking list.

Oh yes. We have aspirations too Davey.

If you talked to us once in a while, or, God forbid, you should actually listen to the plebs, you might learn a thing or nine.

Are you learning yet?

Have I been aspirational enough?

Good.

Get weaving.

CR.