My dad died this morning.
He was taken in to hospital on Monday because his doctor was concerned about his cough. With blistering speed his condition worsened and his major organs started to fail on Wednesday afternoon.
He was lucid until 3:30 am and then drifted in and out of consciousness for six and a half hours. His medical team decided not to put him on dialysis because they said his heart couldn't stand the workload.
He died just after 10 am surrounded by those he loved, and by those who loved him. I last saw him in July and I am sort of pleased that I didn't see him at his end. Although I will regret being in London when I should have been with him in Manchester.
I remember him in his prime. He was a heavyweight boxer during his army days. He made me laugh, and he made sure I was ready for the world.
He was a great man, with a great heart, and I will miss him dreadfully.
I wanted to use this wee corner of Blogworld to mark his existence, and his passing.
Goodbye Dad.
CR.
74 comments:
Very sorry to hear that - my own father passed away a couple of years ago so I know how you feel.
Thinking about my own experience, maybe it's best he went quickly rather than having the suffering dragged out for months.
Very sorry to hear this news. My condolences to you and your family.
Sorry to read that.
RIP Mr Rantys Dad.
regards
being a dad i know what he meant to you.
i try to do those same things for my girls of 7 and 9.
Thanks all.
It's hard to find the right words, and it is equally hard answering people.
If you have nothing to say, don't worry, because I know exactly how you feel.
Life is shit, sometimes.
CR.
Really really sorry, Captain. Thoughts are with you. He sounds like a great father to have had, and a lot of him is living on in you. Keep up the fight - as he would have done, given different times. The past is a different country.
I raise a toast to your father, and to the fact that he left a great legacy in you, his son.
Cx
captain
A sad day indeed, the worst day of my life when my Father died, 30 years ago.
Still miss him.
Condolences to you and yours.
Agree with you , remember people at their best
We are all more than words or even thoughts. We are and having lived, always will be. Take care and cherish a man who made a great son.
The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree Cap'n. I'm sure he was as proud as hell of you ...
Sincere condolences Ranty, my parents died within 18 months of each other 11 years ago. You never stop missing them but as years pass the loss gets easier to bear.
Jo
So sorry, Cap'n.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
You are not helping folks.
I thought that the tears would stop, by writing this, but your comments have just aided the flow.
I don't know whether to thank you or curse you.
The tears wont stop. I think I want to thank you for that.
CR.
Tragic news. My thoughts are with you and your family.
CR,
I don't want to add to your tears, but I know how you feel. It will get better, a bit, eventually.
As it happens my next post will be to commemorate my own dad. Like yours, mine had been an athlete during his National Service - cross-country running rather than boxing - but I would never have believed it if I hadn't been shown the evidence.
You'll remember the good times...
Cheers,
dak
Deepest condolences on your sad loss Capt'n
Oh god mate, so sorry to hear this.
And for gods' sake don't hold back the tears!
Are you still in London? We should meet for a drink!
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Captain - here's a passage that has given me and others a lot of comfort in the past when I or they have lost loved ones, written by Amado Crowley:
"Like the chrysalis which conceals a butterfly, our body is but a vehicle for the soul. You’ve had your ups and downs, mishaps and escapades, but now your near the end. The car lacks fuel, and so the spirit just steps out.
Perhaps you were fond of that old car. It may be a wrench to leave it behind. You haven’t always been as good as you should be either. But you haven’t been terribly bad. Why would the Gods allow remorse if it were futile? It doesn’t come to make you sick. It comes to heal and make amends. Life has been made up of meetings and partings, hellos and goodbyes. It took time to learn to make friends. But nothing is being cut or destroyed. This act is drawing to a close, but the curtain will rise on the next. If there is any sense of loss, there is also a sense of joining.
Where you now go, we shall follow. We imagine it is a breaking off simply because we fear we shall not see you, touch you, hear you or speak to you. But our love is so much stronger than ordinary fear ... the division is due only to our being at different stages of development. You fly while we walk.
You are in the mountains while we stay on the plains. You go on before but we shall follow and all shall be one because we remain one. You were not born to be harried by dread. Learn what is there, but do not guess at what you cannot know. Knowledge will come, and you shall not be blamed for ignorance. You sought to be one with your fellows. You sought love, home, and a place to put down the roots of awareness. You found it here, with us.
There is within us a certain kind of sorrow, true, but it us the sorrow of children who do not understand why father or mother must leave them for a while. But just as those children smile with joy when the day’s end (evening) brings their loved one’s return - so we shall all be reunited at the eventide of life.
Fear not that you have or have not fulfilled this or that recipe or formula ... that you have not recited this or that prayer ... that you have not received this or that sacrament. God is above the rules and dogmas of men and their religions, and God can see men's hearts more clearly than men can rumble their own infants. You heavenly father knows you better than you know yourself.
Don’t be afraid that you may not have expressed to God what you wished in your soul to convey to him. Your heart sings it. Your soul chants it. Our love confirms it. Trust. Trust now. It has not been in vain. It was all for a purpose. You tried, you did your best. The past is past. Yesterday can not be recalled and changed. All that is needed is the will to make a better today so that the world’s tomorrow shall be closer to success.
The baby is disturbed to be born, but born it must be for it’s time has come. So the human soul shrinks from dying, yet die it must when it’s time has come. The spark of life is kindled in the cave within the side of the mountain ... and to the sides of that mountain we must all return. Our childhood over, we must go onward and upward. Let your soul be clothed in serenity now. Let your spirit shine with peace. You have worked in the fields and earned your rest. The worry is over. Let your going be seemly.
The soul is always concerned to leave this world in familiar surroundings. This is because home and family were the port from which we started out. It helps the spirit to be beside the faces one has loved. This assures us that the nature of the bond is changing, but not being broken. The love that was tested in life will provide an enduring truth in death."
Amado Crowley 1994.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Sorry for your loss--my condolences to you and your family
So sorry to hear that Capt. Deepest sympathies to you and your family.
Very sorry for your sudden loss. Sincere condolences to you and yours.
- richard
Condolences to you and yours Cap'n.
I'm very sorry to hear that Captain.
My sincere condolences to yourself and your family Sir.
Terribly sorry to hear that. Thinking of you at this sad time.
Commiserations.
Very sad to read your news, CR. Thoughts are with you today, and I'll raised a glass to your Dad this evening.
Be strong, mate. :(
My sincerest condolences, Cap'n.
I lost my father before I reached my teenage years, and it flat-out sucked. A quarter of a century later and I still feel the occasional stab.
The tears are a good thing, because it means, like me, you were fortunate to have a father who was your hero. Sadly these days this is becoming a scarcer quality. That blessing becomes a curse, but I suspect that you wouldn't trade the loss for never having had the relationship in the first instance.
Like Tennyson said, tis better to have loved and lost. . .
Sorry for your loss, sincere condolences to you and yours.
My deepest sympathy on your loss.
As i get older i find am better able to cope with loss by looking at the persons life in a celebratory way and that makes the separation easier.
I lost my own Dad in 1971 but at 64yrs i still see him as if it was yesterday & cherish his memory and his life and what he meant to me as a terrific Dad.
reiverdave
Many thanks to you all.
Feeling better this morning.
Heading home in a couple of hours. It will be good to be surrounded by my own family again.
Lonely hotel rooms are not ideal for handling this sort of news.
CR.
I'm very sorry for your sad news Captain. Your father raised a good son. Keep on fighting,it does get easier as time passes.
Paris Claims
Sorry to hear this Cap'n, lost my Dad a few years ago; whoever said 'big boys don't cry' was a twat.
:-(((((((((((((((((((((((((
Condolences, CR.
You have my deepest sympathies CR. My Dad died in 1984 and the pain is still with me, I miss him so much.
Keep strong my friend.
T
My sincerest condolences Captain.
I lost my old dad four years and a few days ago.
I went down to the old churchyard a few days ago. I get some solace knowing that he lies there among scores of his ancestors and relatives in what was once a very close knit village.
I'm not sure if you ever get over it. I am not sure I want to. But you get used to it.
I'll drink my next pint of english ale to both those heroes.
My condolences, Cap'n.
My father was a difficult bugger and about 18 months before he died, we had a major row. I never spoke to him again. I don't feel guilty about this to be honest, but I'm glad that your father will be remembered more fondly than mine and that your relationship was considerably closer.
Sorry for your loss CR, sincere condolences.
As you he, I'm sure he was very proud of you, and your grounding.
What bloody awful news Captain. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better apart from offer my sincere condolences and to raise a glass to a man who sired a son with fire in his belly and courage in his heart - and you must have got that from somewhere.
David
Sad news, Cap'n, but at least your Dad is at rest now - I lost my own forty-seven years ago and never saw him at the end either - that's probably the worst part of it all.
May he rest in peace and my thoughts and good wishes be with you and your family at this sad time.
Very bad news mate, you will be in my thoughts.
John Gibson
My sympathies CR. As you know my father died last year, just 10 days after a terminal diagnosis, although we had no idea it would be over that quick. It's probably better that your dad went very quickly, rather than suffer unduly.
MD
Sorry for the loss of your father Capt........lost mine last year, no the feeling mate.
Del
Nothing I can say here Captain. My thoughts are with you mate.
A bad time for you Captain, my own father passed away almost 40 years ago and, although the pain has gone ( it does eventually go ), I still miss him sometimes. I hope you have friends and family around you to help - now is the time when they really count. My thoughts are with you.
A heartbreaking time for you Cap'n, a world of emotions now and for years to come.
They say time heals, thats rubbish, i still miss my own wonderful kind father as much now as when he died some 20 years ago.
In the years to come you may find, like i, that your father is there beside you in spirit if not body...in some respects a good man never dies, his honour and integrity in this world of crap can live on through you.
Regards.
Judd
Thanks again, folks, for your lovely words.
My brother in law called to tell me that there will be a post mortem. He said that legislation demanded a PM when the person had asbestosis. My dad had was diagnosed with it 16 years ago. His lungs were slowly turning into concrete.
So his funeral will not be for another 10-12 days at the earliest.
CR.
You won't believe it at the moment, but it DOES get "better" eventually.
Sorry, Captain. Best regards to yourself and your family.
Just remember the good times.
Marked and thoughts are with you of course. I was there. No more words.
Cap'n,
Out of every negative there is a positive. Your father won't be suffering anymore with asbestosis. I'm sorry for your unhappiness but life always ends as you know. I often wonder why a creator would take away that which we learn to love but then, it only makes death more appealing to the inquisitive who will eventually, I believe, find the answers to all those unsolved questions. Unhappiness has taken centre stage but it will end.
Sympathies for you and your family.
Harbinger
So sorry to hear your news CR.
My thoughts are with you.
My thoughts are with you Cap. I am sorry you were alone when you got the news but glad you are heading to your family.
Sincere condolences Cap'n, our thoughts are with you at this sad, sad time.
Russ
Sorry to hear about your dad .
I'm so sorry to hear this sad news Mr Ranty.
It takes me back almost 20 years to when my Dad died and I am reminded today of the pain. It does ease with time but it takes its own time and never really goes - and nor should it.
Don't worry about the tears, let them flow; they are a good sign. I will raise a glass to you and your father with my dinner this evening.
Thank you all, again, for the kind words.
I am not as alone as I thought I was. A great many of you lost your dads too and I am sorry for your loss.
I just wasn't ready to join this awful club.
Then again, I suppose none of us were.
Here's to the dads.
Slainte!
CR.
Please accept our deepest condolences.
Very sorry to hear this, Captain. My sympathies and condolences to you and your family.
Regards
TSL
Thanks Robert, thanks TSL.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my Dad in 1988, and I still miss the old bugger. Even now, I think "Oh, Dad'll know that ..." and then realise he isn't there any more. Cherish the memories, and keep moving onwards. Thinking of you, mate.
Thank you Richard.
I'm sorry to hear this Capt. Lost my dad last year and I know how much it hurts, even when it's expected. Thinking of you.
(Been away a few days so only just able to comment)
Thanks Woodsy.
Sorry to hear your news. RIP Ranty's da'
Thanks Iain.
I dread this day ranty :(
My net has been down otherwise I would have posted earlier. My sympathies and condolences to you and your family Captain. Hope he enjoyed his time on this earth.
Very sorry to hear this CR. Hope you are bearing up OK.
So sorry for your loss cr he sounds like a great man.
regards
Don't visit your blog too often but did so tonight (from RSA).
I lost my dad a couple of years ago. He was a thoroughly dedicated Brit (though I'm a Saffer) so can readily understand your loss.
Let me extend my condolences to you and your family at this time.
Thanks folks.
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