Dear David Cameron,

I am an ordinary man.

I find myself being driven to extraordinary lengths in my efforts to defy you, your colleagues, your peers, and every agent acting for or on behalf of the UK government.

Daily, my outrage reaches new highs. My disgust reaches new highs. My disappointment reaches new highs.

In the 2010 general election I voted Conservative. Before you pat yourself on the back, you should know that it was a wasted vote, but I knew that when I ticked the box for your man here in Aberdeenshire. He was the least worst choice, so infected are we here with the SNP. Had UKIP fielded a candidate I would have joyfully voted for him or her. Hindsight offers a clarity of vision like no other and I should have simply spoiled my vote. Alas, I did not. Lessons were learned.

You had promised so much, but the very best thing, by a long shot, was that Cast Iron Guarantee of a referendum on the EU. It never came. You sir, are a liar. A liar and a cheat. You also promised a Great Repeal. So deluged are we with legislation it is absolutely impossible for any Briton to know the law. You said you would reduce the size of government. You said there would be a bonfire of the quangos. You said that you would reduce regulation so that businesses could flourish. You did none of that.

I'm willing to bet that no more than a handful of people in government (and by that I do not include you and the other 649 MPs) have any idea how many pieces of legislation (including statutory instruments) were enacted in 2011. You don't know? I'll tell you. It was a staggering, a record-breaking 4,116. That's FOUR THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN. As of today, 99 days into 2012, you and your team of inepts have vomited another 1,277 mostly useless "laws" at a population already drowning in rules and regulations. Don't believe me? Check your own website (bottom left).

Proud of yourself?

Even de Montforts parliament, the first parliament ever created in England in 1265, suddenly granted power beyond imagination, struggled mightily to produce legislation. I admire them greatly. Why? Because by 1267 they had only produced 2 (TWO) new laws. Almost 3 years into it, they managed to produce just two new pieces of legislation. Oh how I long for a time machine, to go back and extract some of their DNA to re-inject into the foul corpse that British politics has become.

Back then, of course, we had no need for almost five million CCTV cameras. We had no need for legislation allowing GCHQ to listen to every phone call, to log every Tweet, or to capture every single email sent by 60 million innocents, in order that we might catch one bad guy. Your own government study proved that it takes over 1,000 cameras just to nail one bad guy. Clearly we do not have enough cameras. To effectively watch every man, woman and child, you will need to install another 60000000000 cameras. And then? You might miss someone, doing something, somewhere! Better fill every home with another sixty or seventy cameras!

Where does it end, Dave? And who do you have in mind to read all those emails and tweets? Even if the phone calls you log have any useful intelligence, just who is going to read them all?

Is this your idea of reducing the size of the state? Is it? Is this your idea of less interference? By increasing surveillance? What are you so terrified of? Because I'll tell you something for nothing: not one of my friends, acquaintances, peers, neighbours, or fellow-villagers are in the least bit worried about Al Qaeda. But they are scared to death of you and those control freaks you work with and surround yourself with.

You may not know this Dave, (Labour certainly didn't), but the very moment you stop listening, the end is nigh. People can put up with all sorts but they will not be ignored. Labour didn't lose the last election because they were crap at running the country-they were, but we Brits are a forgiving bunch-no, they lost because they stopped listening.

Hear this:

We want out of the EU. Today.

We want less surveillance, not more.

We want more freedom, not less.

We want our sovereignty back. All of it.

We want the ECA 1972 burnt. Publicly. At prime time.

We want pretty much ALL environmental legislation burnt as well.

We want affordable fuel-petrol, diesel, electric and gas.

We want less waste of taxpayer money.

We want to kill off ALL quangos.

We want an end to all faux charities.

We want banks to fail if they mess up.

We want to stop all but emergency (humanitarian) foreign aid.

There are several dozen other things we want, but this will do for a mornings work.

Start earning your money Dave. Start listening. Start taking action.

Or we will.

Sincerely,

Captain James Edward Ranty (R'td).

PS-Since there are so many laws, I have decided that I cannot possibly obey them all. I will, therefore, obey none. I sent you an Affidavit to this effect, and I let yer pal Madge know as well. Consider this a reminder.