Northwards, To Lagos

I had a lovely week in Johannesburg. The streets where I was staying (in Sandton) were safe and the bars & restaurants were good. I got to see my extended family too, so much drinking and much eating took place. We made lots of fine memories to sustain us until we meet again.

But, into every life a little rain must fall, so I left the land of milk and honey to head north to the land of piss and vinegar:

Looks lovely, doesn't it? This image must have come straight from the Nigerian Tourist Board.

What they don't tell you is that this is the every day reality:

They certainly don't tell you that if you arrive after nine pm you will be stopped at three VCP's, manned by the Nigerian Police Force, all of whom will demand money from you. Equally, they don't tell you what the required response to these demands should be. I tried "Fuck off" three times, and three times they waved me on. Disappointment writ large on their greedy faces.

They don't tell you that after you have checked in and are trudging your way up the stairs to your room that you will be approached by a smiling pimp.

Pimp: "PSSST! Mister. Mister!"

Ranty: "Yes?"

Pimp: "Erm, the man who ordered the two girls in reception has already gone to bed. Would you like them?"

Ranty: "For free?"

Pimp (laughing): "No sir! But I can cut you a deal..."

Ranty: "No thanks"

Pimp: "OK then". After a slight pause, "Want a boy?"

Ranty: "No thanks"

Pimp: "No problem sir. I'll check back with you through the week"

Ranty: "Please don't".

There endeth the conversation, and our weary traveller wends his way up the stairs to get some shut-eye.

So, with such an electric start to this portion of my trip, the only way is down.

I'll keep you updated....

CR.