Back On Planet Earth.

After last nights merlot induced fugue* (in the old days they called it a "Brown Study", but mine was enhanced by the grape), I went a-wandering. My head was filled with rainbows and kittens after some unbelievably kind comments, and some sensible advice from my readers. I cannot thank you enough for bringing me back down to earth. I mean that with oodles of sincerity. I know Rome wasn't built in a day, owing to the fact that the job went to the lowest bidder, but I am now aware that I set my expectations far too high. I am a greedy bastard. It wasn't enough for me to know that the blog was growing in readership, or that what I was producing here had value, but I was almost insistent that you all do what I do, when I do it. An utterly selfish, and unrealistic demand.

*Just to be crystal clear: the drinking followed the post. Not the other way around.

Like Joe Foreman, I am back. I am still full of piss and vinegar but some of you seem to like that and my mission is not to disappoint. There were some threats (mainly from old matelots) and some efforts at bribery. Both worked a treat. I need neither, by the way. Your encouragement is enough, and it was there in spades.

I was born optimistic. I slid out of the womb on a cold January day, onto the kitchen lino, I'll have you know, and it was a nasty day. I looked out of the window and thought "Sure, it's a bit King Billy, but it's certain to get better". And it did. Before I knew it I was three and half years old and setting fire to my very first car! (If it was your car parked near those flats in Salford in 1965, I are really, really sorry. Two big boys put me up to it). Life for me has been, by turns, both ultra-shite and jaw-droppingly spectacular. Rough and smooth. Ups and downs. Peaks and troughs. And I doubt that my life has been that much different to anyone else's.

So when I got a chance to tell everyone what I was up to, I was thrilled at the prospect. More importantly, I was going to change the world! Except that I didn't. At least, not in any miraculous way. And because it wasn't miraculous, I had the cheek, the gall, to be affronted. I thought that once you guys knew what I knew, you would be right there alongside me, shouting down the establishment! And winning!

Real life isn't like that, is it? It took me many months to understand Lawful Rebellion. It took me many months to understand how serious it was to declare myself a Freeman On The Land. And like a fool, I expected you to know instantly what I knew and dive right in. It was all so simple. Lawful Rebellion takes two letters (Affidavits) to her maj. She ignores the first one, and forty days later, she ignores the second one. She will do that until she has a pile of one million LR affidavits for the corgis to piss on. Then, and only then, will she do something. I know, but failed to convey, that our LR affidavits are symbolic. If you have the sand to say to a reigning monarch, "I will play along no more, you treasonous thing", then you have the sand to achieve absolutely anything. I cannot describe the feeling once you have taken a deep, deep breath, and popped it into the mailbox. The euphoria you feel when you walk back to your house is magical. Then, forty days later, feeling much more confident now, you post the second affidavit. You don't walk home. You strut. Or float. Then you wait for a reaction, which never comes, and you are free. I never felt more alive in my entire life. I was done with her, and I was done with her government. Lawfully and peacefully, I had stepped away.

I wanted you all to feel that. That millstone slipping away. That monkey, off your back, at last!

The greatest comments are those where people relate their stories concerning the word "No". I thrive on those. They make me unbelievably happy. As William says in the comments of my last post, the power of NO is quite stunning. It fucks them up. You are meant to consent. You are meant to acquiesce. You are meant to agree to all sorts of shit that your gut is screaming "NO!" at.

Contrary to the comment at 21:20 last night, I was quite sober when I wrote the piece. (I usually delete the alcohol induced ravings). I will let this one stand.

For better or worse, I am back. I want to spend more time researching new stuff that I had on the back burner. So I may write less, but it should be more interesting for you.

Thank you once more for your encouragement, and your loyalty. It goes both ways. I understand that now.

Onwards. Let's see where the journey ends. Together.

CR.