January 31, 2011

When Will We Sing?

When we have learnt that bleating doesn't work.

That's when.

My original post was exactly as you see above. Two lines. That said it all, I thought. Comments in my "Freemen of Egypt" post made I think a bit harder.

English Viking is asking "What happens after the revolution in Egypt?". A good question. The answer is "Whatever the Egyptians want to happen". The Egyptians are many things, but they are not stupid. They know that Egypt is not Iran II. Whilst most are Muslim, religious freedom is tolerated. Not always, but more than most other Muslim countries. The Coptic Christians are left (largely) in peace. They know that they control one of the most important waterways in the world. They know that their stance on Israel helps to maintain an uneasy peace. They know that they do not have oil & gas in the same quantities as the Big Three (Libya, Nigeria & Angola), and they know just how vital tourism is to their economy. They like a beer, and a smoke, so any hardline Islamist is going to get short shrift. I know many Egyptians and they want what I want: a peaceful life, a safe life for their families, some real job opportunities and a government that doesn't bleed them dry.

What is the difference between Mubaraks Egypt and Camerons UK?


Mubarak steals from his people. So does Cameron. (Punishing tax demands, anyone?)

Mubarak steals land belonging to the people and sells it off cheap to his cronies. So does Cameron. (National Parks, anyone?)

Mubarak uses his Interior Ministry to spy on his people. Cameron uses GCHQ. (Emails retained, phone calls transcribed, anyone?)

Mubaraks police officers snatch, beat and kill their citizens. Camerons policy enforcement officers do exactly the same. (1,100 deaths in custody in nine years without a single conviction, anyone?)

Vote rigging, expense-fiddling, abuse of office, treason, spurious law making, rising gaol population, gravy-training.

I could go on.

Were there ramifications after the French Revolution? Sure. For the French aristocrats.

Were there ramifications after the Tunisian Revolution? Absolutely. For the thieving Ben Ali family.

Will there be ramifications after the Egyptian Revolution? No doubt about it. For Mubarak and his 40 thieves.

Will it affect the region. Definitely. But, what must be, must be. The Egyptians will decide.

I trust them to do the right thing. They know what they don't want.

And that, is a fine way to start.


The Freemen Of Egypt

The recipe for revolution seems to be: an inept leader, bloated government, rising inflation, high unemployment, waste, thieving money from the public pot, policemen acting with impunity, and a Cabinet made up, (mostly), of millionaires.

I think I pretty much described the disUnited Kingdom there.

It takes a lot for a nation to rise up. Repress, oppress, tag, watch, gaol, snatch, rob, beat and kill the citizens, and at some point the natives will grow restless. Restless enough to march, in their millions, and take away the power once granted to a few bad men.

The French said no.

(By taking their kit off, apparently).

The Tunisians said no.

(Until the government got the message).

And now the Egyptians have said no.

The only difference being that Mubarak seems to have gone deaf. (Shades of Broon?).

The cleverest thing I have seen during the Egyptian Revolution was the police leaving the streets. They have been replaced by the army, who have openly stated that they are on the side of the people. Which is pretty damn cool. I wonder if that would happen here?

Mubarak will go. That must be obvious even to him now. I suspect that several things are happening simultaneously: he is shoving money into his oversees bank accounts at a rate of knots, begging someone (the Saudis?) to give him shelter, and the Americans (probably) are working overtime to ensure that the "right man" steps in to fill the power vaccuum. After all, they spend a ton of money keeping Egypt as a buffer in the region. There is no doubt that they are strategically vital. To all sides.

The most important thing is that the Egyptians get the government they want. For thirty years they have put up with an egotistical, controlling, money-grabbing, power-crazy freak. They deserve a break.

At least we get to change our "leaders" every few years. The fact that they are exactly the same as the wasters we just unelected doesn't seem to matter to Generation X Factor.

Our day will come.

Has anyone noticed a common theme? Have you noticed how a revolution starts?

The people said "No".


January 28, 2011


I haven't put up any videos for a while.

Have this:

If that tickles your fancy, watch the whole movie here:

Fascinating and scary, but never dull.

As those countries in the Maghreb have shown us, in order to progress, first you must tear down.

Out with the old, in with the new.

The transition begins.


January 25, 2011

Riot Sandwich!

Deep joy.

Next door to the left, the Tunisians continue to express their discontent. Next door to the right, the Egyptians have begun to express theirs.

Your humble Captain is stuck in the middle. The Libyans are no better off than their neighbours and they have exactly the same complaints.

It will be interesting to see if it kicks off here.

I just hope they wait until 4pm on Thursday. By then I will have taken off and hopefully I will be on my second G&T.

They shut down the airport here for the slightest of reasons and I am buggered for a land option. I do not want to head south and then west across the desert to get into Algeria. I have been arrested there before and I have no desire to repeat the experience. Without the right papers it is a given. Unlike British gaols, they do not feed you. Your family has to bring food in. I can confirm that I have no family there. On the upside, I may lose a few pounds....

EDIT: Sue tells me that Algeria is no good. The peasants are revolting there too.

That leaves Niger, the Central African Republic or Sudan. (The dodgy half of Sudan).

I should may be back on Thursday night.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me until then.


January 21, 2011

Shit Continues To Hit Fan

This time in Albania.

Full story here.

It looks like the Albanian slaves have had enough of their masters taking the piss. Pretty much like the Tunisians in a lot of respects.

Not that they have finished having their say yet. More unrest in Tunis today.

Biffo Cowen has badly let down his party, Fianna Flail, and his country, again.  This is the second time in a week they have tried to dump the useless bastard.

The Americans are doing no better. The Republicans are now back in charge at the House of Representatives and the first thing they did was to dump Barry O'Blimey's doomed HealthCareForAll Bill. For those of you that haven't been to the US, I can tell you that things are different there. Housing is cheap, cars are cheap, dining out is cheap, and you get to keep most of your hard-earned. Point being that most of them have money to spend on healthcare plans. It is a damn sight cheaper than our "free" NHS, I can tell you. Even so, things are not all as rosy as you would think. Sovereign movements are growing apace in the US and A so there may be trouble ahead.

The Belgiques have no government. They also don't do protests. Ever. About anything. Ever. (OK, OK, I concede that they did get a mention here.) In fact, here is a quote:

"Unions said 100,000 demonstrators had gathered in Brussels although police put the figure at around half that, 56,000, and reported a couple of hundred arrests following scuffles with "anarchists" in the city centre."

(Further investigation revealed that 55,996 of those were just Brits who were there to buy cheap smokes and took a wrong turn. The other four were part of a stag do from Bruges. They also took a wrong turn. "It was the beer" they said, "We have drinkened too much beer".)

The Dutch have a coagulation, just like we do. They don't go in much for protests because they are a laid-back population. But they have horrendous immigration problems, so they may just get unlaid-back enough to jump and shout a bit.

The Greeks are just about clinging on. Old Papandreou only just won a majority (160 out of 300 seats) in 2009, but his slaves kick off regularly. Over anything. 'Twas ever thus. Read your history. The Thracians, the Macedonians, and the Spartans were warry bastards. And let's not forget the women: no female population anywhere beats the Greeks for facial hair. Yes. They are that tough the chicks grow moustaches and beards.

The French? They kick off fairly regularly so all we have to do is wait until they piss off all the slaves and we should see some fireworks there.

The Portugese are a lively bunch and I think that (more) protests there are long overdue. It's all that Mediterranean hot blood.

Ditto the Spaniards. They like a good ruckus. It doesn't take much to get their dander up.

The Italians are getting fed up as well. They like a good protest and they are not averse to a bit of violence when it is necessary.

Here is a general sense of who will do what and when. It is important to remember the numbers. 600 million of us, 500,000 of them. It will be a cakewalk. A mornings work.

The point, which I hope I have made succinctly, is that the slaves are growing restless. Not just here, but all over the place. Most of us are forced, daily, to chip in far more than we should have to. It is particularly galling when those in government don't seem to be feeling any pain. And I mean absolutely none.

Most will blame "austerity measures" for the rioting, but what will erupt will be decades of oppression. The protests will become a natural release for all that anger at the mismanagement of their nations. Uselessness seems to be a requisite when becoming an MP. We deserve better. Much, much better. If they don't offer it, we will have to take it. By force, if needed, but peacefully, if we can.

Either way, it will all end in tears. For them.

And tears of joy. For us.



I are orf on my travels again.

But it should be exciting. The picture says so...

And they should know. This is the hotel I am staying at. The manager assures me it will be ready by the time I check in tomorrow afternoon. I was told that it was a three star hotel but having consulted the Africa-Europe Hotel Star Chart, it turns out to be nearly a one star place. I've ordered hot & cold running nymphets. They may or may not be delivered to my room. I'll let you know.

It's not just a job this, it's a fucking adventure.

Just to annoy the anti-smokers, I have also asked where in the hotel it is possible to smoke.

Here is a comprehensive list: everywhere.

Play nice while I'm gone. The Borg would want that.


The National Debt: Who Do We Owe?

The last time this subject got an outing was when Britain's debt tipped over £1 trillion. (Although many believe the figure to be closer to £4 trillion).

In the comments several people asked "But who do we owe all this money to?"

The answer is right here.

Number crunchers of note may be miffed at the simplified explanation but I appreciated it.


"If government spending outstrips tax revenues, it has to borrow the rest. It does this by issuing gilts, which are just IOUs from the UK.

Investors — from banks and pension funds to foreign governments — buy the gilts. In doing so, they agree to lend the UK a specific amount of money over a specific period of time, at a specific interest rate.

The national debt — that £1trillion figure — is all these added together. It's how much we owe in total.

So when the government says it plans to cut the deficit from around £150billion last year to £35billion by 2014/15, all it means is that it's going to reduce the amount that it overspends by each year. The national debt won't fall — in fact, it will keep rising."

Simple enough?

Here's more:

"It also depends on what a country is spending the money on. Borrowing to invest in a new road network is one thing — it's a one-off spend that should improve the country's productivity and therefore its growth. It's an investment that should pay for itself.

But if a country is borrowing merely to service its existing commitments — such as on pensions or healthcare spending — then that's a problem. This is a 'structural' deficit. Basically, it means a country is spending above its means and something has to give.

This is the real problem that Britain faces.

Even before the financial crisis, we were spending too much on things we can't afford in the long run. That's why the cuts are necessary. And it makes sense to try to tackle the issue now, because cutting the debt will also leave us less vulnerable to future shocks in the financial markets.

Make no mistake, if we were part of the eurozone, we'd probably be somewhere near the 'PIGS' hit-list (Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Spain) that's caused so much woe on the continent.

However, the way the cuts are dealt with does matter. If the government fails to tackle waste (back-office admin and costs), but ends up slicing away at the useful parts of the public sector, it won't be as effective. And the more taxes are hiked, the greater the risk of slowing the economy.

In other words, it's not a naked choice between 'austerity' and 'stimulus' or if we have too much debt — it's about using the resources we have more efficiently."

So we cannot just "hunt the bastard down" ala Tommy Tiernan because they could be anyone, anywhere.

Until we unfuck ourselves, we are fucked.

Why does no-one ever talk about Plan B?

Which is real easy. We default. We simply stop the direct debit mandate and then, just like Iceland did, we ignore the squealing. Sure, we will be in everyone's bad books for five or ten years, but so what? We will emerge debt-free and our kids and their kids will hail us as heroes for releasing them from a debt that the bastard Labour party created, whilst the "opposition" looked on and did nothing.

There's always an answer. No matter what the problem is.

I support Plan B.

What about you?


January 20, 2011

Dail Eireann Disintegrates...

...and not a moment too soon.

This is fantastic news for the Irish. For far too long Biffo* Cowen has ruled with a muddled mind. Superimpose his face on Colostomy Browns head and you have essentially the same deluded fuckwit. Unelected and useless, (sound familiar?), Biffo drove his nation into that godawful position that forced them to beg for money from Gollum von Rumpouy. I'd rather stick pins in kittens eyes.

Biffo was almost ejaculatory when he got through his vote of no confidence on Tuesday. His tumescence lasted less than 48 hours, having, as he did, a minor brainfart. Chubby Biffo decided to have a reshuffle, which has backfired spectacularly. What I find difficult to comprehend is just how long the sainted Irish allowed the fat bastard to sit in office. He is about as much use as a trapdoor in a canoe.

Full story here, if you can stand the laughs.

If I may be so bold as to offer a little advice to our Irish friends: be careful who you vote for. Between now and the election countless experts are going to tell you to vote for one of the big, established parties. Avoid this in the same way you avoid ebola. All of these "established" parties are incompetent. They are all the same. You will do yourself no favours by replacing fuckwits with fuckwits. Vote instead for every independent on the ticket in every constituency.

That way, they will never form a government, and if they never form a government, they cannot sit around and decide how to waste your money in ever more imaginative ways. Your country is in the shit. Often, the best course of action is to do absolutely fuck all.

It works for Belgium. They have had no government for nearly eight months and no-one is any the wiser.

Good luck. You are going to need it.


*Biffo, I was delighted to learn, stands for Big Ignorant Fecker From Offaly.

Those Bad Bad Boys In Blue

Well, some of them anyway.

These are the people we allegedly hold up as ideal members of society. This short list details those we know about from the last year or so. No doubt there are many more.

Doesn't it make you go all warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that these bell-ends are chasing the "bad guys"?

Chief Superintendent James Trotman - Thames Valley Police 18th Jan 2011
Allegedly set fire to his car outside his lover’s home and allowed her lawyer husband to take the blame

PC Jordan Janssen - Metropolitan Police 14th Dec 2010
Pleaded guilty to making and distributing indecent images of children.

Sgt Peter Yeats - Sussex Police 20th Dec 2010.

PC Lance Thomson - Lancashire Police 8th Dec 2010.
Pleaded guilty to 15 charges of making indecent images of children.

PC Shaun Lee Merseyside Transport Police 4th Nov 2010
Charged with dangerous driving after a Police vehicle was used to apprehend an alleged fare dodger.

Three Police Officers - Merseyside Police 4th Nov 2010.
Beat and forced an innocent woman to strip naked

Sgt Salim Razaq - Lancashire Police 4th Nov 2010.
Found guilty of perverting the course of justice,possessing firearms and ammunition, as well as misconduct in a public office.

PC Peter Yeats - Metropolitan Police 1st Nov 2010.
Charged with £3500 fraud.

PC Mesut Karakas
- Metropolitan Police 23rd 0ct 2010.
Pleaded guilty to conspiracy to kidnap a Lloyds TSB manager in 2009, misconduct in a public office and assault. Sentenced to 13 years in prison.

Detective Constable Daren Pooley and Nicola Pooley - 20th Oct 2010
Found guilty today of conspiracy to defraud.

Sergeant Tim Nunn and Sergeant Lee Morgan - 20th Oct 2010
Two Metropolitan Police Custody Sergeants are to face prosecution for perverting the course of justice following an investigation managed by the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC). Sergeant Tim Nunn and Sergeant Lee Morgan , who were both based at Plaistow Police Station, have been summonsed to appear before Horseferry Road Magistrates Court on 5 November 2010.

Detention Officer Adrian Law
- South Yorkshire Police 14th Oct 2010
Charged with Section 18 assault (grievous bodily harm) relating to an allegation that hot liquid was deliberately poured over a 26-year-old man who was detained at Barnsley Police Station on 30 May 2010. Source

Sgt James Boothby - Lancashire Police 14th Oct 2010
Facilitating the creation of a company and pursuing a course of conduct to procure valuable business for that company, thereby breaching the Code of Conduct for police officers in relation to honesty and integrity. Source

PC Stephen Mitchell - Newcastle Police 13th Oct 2010
Five counts of rape, six of indecent assault and 15 of misconduct in public office.

PC 5548 Morrison - Devon and Cornwall 6th Oct 2010
Unlawful arrest, excessive force & unlawful detention on John Joseph.

PC Nigel Cowley, PC Roderick James-Bowen, PC Mark Jones, 43 and Det Con John Donohue - Metropolitan Police 22nd Sept 2010
Assault occasioning actual bodily harm during the arrest of Mr Ahmad in Tooting, south London. 

PC Daniel Capel - Kent Police 19th Sept 2010
Went to ­investigate a bust-up between a young model and her boyfriend and then sent her a string of filthy texts and tried to get her to sleep with him bombarding her with explicit ­messages, ­including a picture of his ­genitals.

PC Anthony Davitt - Merseyside Police 16th Sept 2010 (Note: Found Not Guilty)
Suspended after allegedly being found with £2,000 in cash recovered on a raid.

Police officer - West Yorkshire 13th Sept 2010
Arrested on suspicion of possessing child pornography.

Sgt Mark Andrews - Wiltshire Police 13th Sept 2010
Police sergeant jailed for throwing woman in cell 'punched and kicked civil servant in separate attack. 

Sgt Mark Andrews - Wiltshire Police 7th Sept 2010
A police officer has been jailed for six months after he was caught on CCTV throwing a woman into a cell, badly injuring her.

Two Police Officers - Greater Manchester Police 3rd Sept 2010.
Suspended after confiscating a super-fast sports car from its driver and then crashing it themselves.

PC Dustin Hunter - Surrey Police 17th Aug 2010
Sold stolen police uniforms and offered tips on how to foil detectives as well as drug dealing. Jailed for seven years.

Police Officers - South Wales 6th Aug 2010
Smashed OAP driver's window and dragged him out of car' after he was stopped for not wearing seatbelt

PC Simon Harwood - Scotland Yard Riot squad 22nd July 2010
Not charged with any offence after he was caught on camera striking newspaper seller Ian Tomlinson with his baton and pushing him to the ground at the G20 Conference on 1st April 2009. 

PC Darren Lawson - Notts Police 2nd July 2010
Jailed for six years for indecently assaulting children. 

PC Jamie Slater - South Wales 15th June 2010
Arrested for offences of misconduct in public office, harassment and inciting prostitution for gain.

PC Haydn Evans - South Wales 11th June 2010
Abused the police computer database to search for confidential information on six male lovers. 

PC Jason Hanvey - Greater Manchester Police 9th April 2010
Subjected a teenage girl to a 'deliberately cruel' ordeal that was 'little short of torture' threatening to rip her 'Fucking skull off'. Jailed for 18th months.

Sgt Darren Burns, PC Andrew Bird, PC Clive French - Merseyside Police 17th Feb 2010
Jailed for selling cannabis seized in drugs raids.

PC Mark Carter - West Yorkshire 19th Dec 2009
Charged with a number of sex offences following an incident at the Etap hotel in Leeds. 

PC Chris McGinn - West Lothian Police 24th Oct 2009
Cocaine addict who sold drugs to feed his £500 a month habit, jailed for two years.

PC Andrew Rayson - South Yorkshire 9th April 2009
Filmed a series of naked women and girls in swimming pool changing rooms, jailed for 20 weeks.

Tip of the beret to a poster on FMOTL Forum.


January 18, 2011

The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!

Those masters of self-control, the Kalifornians, are at it again.

Was there ever a scare that did NOT eminate from this god-forsaken hole?

Confession time: I boycotted Kalifornia, and all things Kalifornian, five years ago. The reason? It was here that the lie was born, (or regurgitated ad nauseum), about the harm of second hand smoke. Prior to knowing this I would happily prop up their wine industry by drinking as much of the stuff as my livers would cope with. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't piss on a Kalifornian if they were on fire. (They are statistically more likely to be anti-smokers as they spawn here faster, and in far greater numbers, than anywhere else on earth). It is their fault I can't have a relaxed smoke anywhere indoors these days. The University of Kalifornia shits out the most ridiculous health "studies" known to mankind. They twist, they lie, they obfuscate, they fabricate, and they lie. A lot. For money. For grants. Who knows, just maybe for the sheer thrill they get from trying to control the behaviour of others.

So it comes as absolutely no surfuckingprise that they have done it again.

They had this mega-storm back in '61 or '62 (that would be 1861 or 1862) they aren't terribly certain of the year but neverthebastardless, a disaster is coming. Soon. Maybe. Perhaps. They aren't sure exactly when. They know to the penny how much damage it will cause though. (Getting a claim in early, it looks like). How much? Only $300 Billion exactly, that's how much.

It's all very vague.

If only there was an expert to give us all the scientific evidence.

Ah, here we go:

"US Geological Survey Director, Marcia McNutt said: "The time to begin taking action is now, before a devastating natural hazard event occurs. This scenario demonstrates firsthand how science can be the foundation to help build safer communities. The ARkStorm scenario is a scientifically vetted tool that emergency responders, elected officials and the general public can use to plan for a major catastrophic event to help prevent a hazard from becoming a disaster."

Yup. I'm convinced. Head for the hills, folks! Computer says so! We need lots and lots and lots and lots of money to prepare for the disaster, even if it is only real in our hash-induced scare-mongering tiny little minds.

So, erm, where exactly will this truckload of cash come from then?

Kalifornia is bankrupt. They are sending IOU's out to people who qualify for tax rebates. They are sending IOU's to companies who provide services for the state. Their officials can still afford soft drugs though. Vishnu alone knows what these idiots were smoking before they started playing with the grown-ups' computer, but they are clearly on something. Tobacco bad, hash good, remember?

And I notice that they can still afford to pump out those ads urging people to come to Kalifornia.

"So when can you get here?", asks the Governator.

When hell freezes over Arnie, and not a minute before.


Good News For Gays

But not so good for Christian pensioners running a hotel.

Not good for property rights either.

First things first: what consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms is none of my business. Moreover, I just don't care. I have more to worry about than who is humping who.

In a landmark ruling, a judge has decided that Peter and Hazelmary Bull broke the law when they denied the blokes in this report a room for the night.

The judge said this:

"In his ruling, Judge Rutherford said: "We live today in a parliamentary democracy. Our laws are made by the Queen in Parliament. It is inevitable that such laws will from time to time cut across deeply held beliefs of individuals and sections of society for they reflect the social attitudes and morals prevailing at the time that they are made."

I am reasonably certain that the queen has never read the legislation. The MPs who vote it in don't bother so why should she? Besides which, if judgy had read the Parliament Act of 1911, he would know that Royal Assent is a given. The argument being that no monarch had refused Assent in centuries. (This is a lie, but we'll let that slide for now). Our laws, judgy, are made by idiots in parliament. They have no idea what they are doing and neither do we. Case in point: Caroline Flint famously said, when asked if she had read the Lisbon Treaty, "I've glanced at it". Her job at the time? Minister for Europe. Marvellous. Even I read it twice.

Moving on:

"In the last 50 years there have been many such instances - the abolition of capital punishment; the abolition of corporal punishment in schools; the decriminalisation of homosexuality and of suicide; and on a more mundane level the ban on hunting and on smoking in public places."

Millions of people firmly believe that capital punishment should be an option for the sadistic killers that roam freely amongst us, usually after a derisory gaol sentence. The abolition of corporal punishment in our schools has led to unprecedented levels of attacks on teachers by students. The decriminalisation of homosexuality is no bad thing, in my opinion. Suicide is a decision entirely for the individual and should never have had anything to do with the state but, of course, a cash-cow taking themselves out of the game isn't really on, is it?  The ban on hunting was debated for over four hundred hours and they carried on anyway. The smoking ban was debated for four hours and we rolled over, like the spineless fucks that we are, despite the fact that there was no science to support the ban, despite the fact that no-one-for three years running, when asked by ONS-wanted a full ban, and despite the fact that it criminalised and denormalised 15 million people.


"All of these - and they are only examples - have offended sections of the population and in some cases cut across traditional religious beliefs. These laws have come into being because of changes in social attitudes."

The smoking ban, fella, continues to offend me. It was childish, puerile and vindictive. I am denied somewhere warm, dry and safe to smoke tobacco, which, if you believe the propaganda (and I don't), will, at worst, harm me, and only me. That pathetic law legislated against an odour. No more and no less. And please, let's not pretend that the legislation had anything at all to do with "changing social attitude". There was an awful lot of money behind that ban. The pharmaceutical companies and freakish outfits, fake charities, like ASH, stood to gain a great deal from the change in the law. Which was a violation of property rights. Again. But FFS, don't pretend this was something the proles were concerned about. They weren't. Not in the least. We know for sure that over 7,000 previously employed, previously housed, and previously happy landlords, landladies and their families would disagree with you.

Finally, this:

"It is a very clear example of how social attitudes have changed over the years for it is not so very long ago that these beliefs of the defendants would have been those accepted as normal by society at large. Now it is the other way around."

The Bulls made a decision. It was based on their Christianity, and their own, strongly-held morals. They denied the lads a room not because they were gay, at least, not entirely, but because they firmly believe in the institution of marriage. They own their hotel. You don't. The state, and by direct extension, the courts, should have absolutely no right to say who gets to stay in their hotel.

The Bulls made a mistake. The mistake they made was to tell the lads why they couldn't have a room.

Everyone lost here: the lads didn't get their room, the Bulls paid the price for their beliefs, and the law now wields a club that every business offering hotel or B&B rooms has to be beaten with. Comply or suffer the consequences.

This directive is lifted straight from the Frankfurt School of Insanity. Divide and conquer. Split the Christians and the Muslims, the Muslims and the Jews, the straights and the GLBT's, the Christians and the gays, the halals and the koshers, the blacks and the whites, the Asians and the Europeans, and pretty soon you have more entertainment than you can handle.

They just sit back and watch us tear each other apart. And they piss themselves laughing at us. At our stupidity and our ignorance.

But mostly, they love it when we concentrate on what divides, rather than unites us. If we could only get together, put our differences aside for even a short while we could work a miracle.

We could call it Tunisia II: The Day The Brits Got Mad.


PS-The Daily Mash agrees with me (eventually) on property rights...

January 17, 2011

Where Were You When It Happened?

"What?", you may ask. What is the old duffer on about now?.

This is what I am on about.

It is a truly enormous number. Never has so much been owed by so many thanks to the inept actions of so few.

It is Labours debt. It belongs to Brown. To Blair. To Darling. It belongs to all the toadies that worked for them. It belongs to all those insane Labour voters.

It isn't my debt. They can come and take my wallet from my cold, dead fingers.

So, (your grand-children will ask you, I swear it), where were you when you realised the country was well and truly fucked?

I was in my home office. I watched the number trip over to ONE TRILLION and I wondered what we had done to our children and their children and their children.

I wondered if this huge number would register in the empty heads of the now largely Fabian populace.

And I sadly concluded that no, it would not.


January 16, 2011

Coming Apart? You Betcha.

I am no fan of governments, of politicians, or oppressive regimes-often they are all wrapped up in one-and sold to us as our saviours.

They are anything but.

Just ask Ben Ali, former MFIC* of Tunisia. He won't be hard to find. Just follow the trail of shit. Since he was ousted on Friday, he did the only thing possible: he ran away screaming like a choirboy with a randy priest at his heels. Where is he now? Who knows. Maybe he didn't organise his brave escape in time and now the boys are baying for his blood.

If he's lucky, he will end up begging the Saudi's to care for him into his dotage like that other model leader, Idi Amin Dada.

OOPS! The Jordanians look set to follow suit.

Or, take a look across the water at Gordon Brown II Brian Cowen. This fat useless bucket of monkey spunk copied Colostomy Broon in every respect: he was the Finance Minister (he fucked that up), then he was the MFIC*, (and he fucked that up), now he won't do the decent thing and leave office. He is clinging on like genital warts and will not, he bleats, be forced out. Here he is, whining like a stuck pig.

Seriously, is he any better than Ben Ali?

Meanwhile, over the big water, the debt grows like a cancer. Sovereign debt has now topped $14 trillion. Which is almost one hundred percent of GDP. Misery loves company, they say, and soon our American cousins will be just as miserable as we are when (if) they all learn that they each owe $45,300 to some nameless, faceless, invisible loanshark. The MFIC* added around $4 trillion to the national debt. "Change we can believe in"? No change here, folks. Elect an idiot and they fuck up the finances. It's axiomatic. Mind you, even Monkey Boy only added $3 trillion when he was the MFIC*. The brown stuff is just about to hit the twirly thing.

Barry O'Barmy will copy his cousin Bobby Mugabe in Zimbabwe and the presses will roll. 

They have to churn out more fiat currency. Where else will it come from? Thanks to the Federal Reserve, (which is neither federal, nor is it reserving anything), and Little Timmy Geithner, the printing presses will be singing like Elaine Paige on speed. And every time they print off a dollar bill, all others in circulation lose a fraction of their value. The Chinese must be pissing themselves in delight. Hu could have known?

OOPS! The EU need to top up the piggy-bank as well. Guess who will end up paying for this?

Just three examples of MFIC's around the world. All three have broken the toy they were given to play with.

Now the other kids are starting to ask why. They are starting to wonder just how clever they were putting up with these cretins for as long as they did.

Call Me Dave and Boy Wonder Clegg should start paying very close attention.

All is not well on the home front. No X Factor, no Strictly, and the tramline storyline in Corrie has been sucked drier than a witches tit.

Is the giant waking up, at last? Is he tired of being poked, prodded, tagged, watched, and of being ordered around & robbed blind every month?

I seriously fucking hope so.


*MFIC = motherfucker in charge.

January 15, 2011

Tommy Tiernan Solves The Debt Problem

It's all good, but do watch it right to the end when Tommy explains how we get out of debt.

Simple answer to a complex problem.


January 14, 2011

Clusterfuck In Old & Sad.


I am struggling, mightily, to comprehend the thought processes of those gibbons in Oldham & Saddleworth that voted for a Labour candidate.

Have you forgotten that they, the Labour apparatchiks, broke our country?

Have you forgotten their criminal negligence?

Have you forgotten all the thieving from the taxpayer pot?

Have you forgotten that they were idiots, led by an insane, nose-picking, pant-pissing, Nokia-hurling freak?

Have you (already) forgotten that they are now led by a 12 year old?

Have you forgotten that for thirteen years they systematically handed our nation to a bunch of twats in Brussels?

Have you forgotten that they murdered Dr Kelly?

Have you forgotten that they took us into two illegal wars?

Have you forgotten that they sold all of OUR gold for pennies on the pound?

Have you forgotten that they put us, our children, their children and their children into debt?

Or don't you care?

Either way, and there is no nice way to say this: you do not deserve the right to vote. You haven't got the required brain-power to make a choice. Not if you happily trot down to the booth and scratch an X next to ANY Labour candidate.

Labour MPs, all of them, should be refused entry to Westminster. For all time. They are treasonous, traitorous bastards. They couldn't run an orgy in a brothel. They are devious, feckless, dishonest and disloyal.

They are the scum of the earth.

And you mongs voted one of them back in.



January 13, 2011

Democracy? Not Here, Not Anymore.

I just read an interesting essay over at Rosie's Hoose.

John Souter raises some great points and to answer there would force me to keep it brief. I thought I would instead jot down my thoughts here.

I think democracy is just a word. A vastly overused word. And you know what happens when you say a word over and over and over again. It loses all meaning. It sounds like gibberish. Where democracy is concerned, not only does the word lose all meaning, but the very concept itself.

John is right. True democracy hasn't existed here for many years. Maybe it never did. "Allowing" us to vote makes us feel part of the process. We think we are actively involved in the running of our nation. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I remember watching those Labour fools when they lost the election last May. They were shocked, stunned and bewildered. They had no idea why they were kicked out. They genuinely did not know why. After a few weeks, they (or at least some of them) realised what it was that caused their downfall. I hesitate to write this woman's name but I must, because it was Hazel Blears that said on radio that : "We weren't listening. We just did what we thought was right". This was either an epiphany from Wee Hazel or it was some sort of twisted plea for sympathy. She got none from me. That bastard party can stay in the hinterland forever, for all I care. They destroyed this nation, its' sense of self, its' sense of place, and in doing so they affected our collective psyche. They damaged us far more than they will ever comprehend.

Of course, the new mob, the ConDemBorg, are merely continuing the work that the LabourBorg began. They are systematically handing our country over, piece by blood-stained piece, to a retarded Gollum in Brussels. A Gollum who is stateless. A Gollum whose own, and I hesitate to say this as well, country, you know, the one without a parliament, is now famous only for housing the inept and the unaccountable in a big shiny building that we paid for.

My point is that most Britons would leave the EU this very afternoon, if asked in a referendum. The ConDemBorg know this and yet they continue with the charade that any of our wants, needs and demands matter in the slightest. They don't. We. Don't. Matter. The sooner you all learn that, the better. Cameron and Clegg are no more "in charge" of this country than I am. They are puppets. Muppets. Marionettes. They dance to a tune played by an almost invisible piper. They take instruction from an insidious group who have always remained nameless, blameless, but ever present. This shadowy group, let's call them the UnderGovernment, for want of a better (or more accurate) name, who watch. They watch and they listen. They watch and they listen and they learn. The saw that Camerons star was on the rise. They waited until the election was over, they waited as he thrashed out a deal with the spineless fence-sitters, the LibDims. And about five minutes after Brown was dragged kicking and screaming from No 10, Cammy got briefed.

They, the UG, would simply not permit a pawn like Cameron to make his own decisions. That would upset the applecart. That would destroy decades of planning. Look back down the years. Can anyone tell me that we have not just got on with that "thousand year reich" so beloved of the short-arsed corporal? We aren't all speaking German, but everything else is on track. One nation, one currency, one big blobby nondescript population (Ein Volk!) and soon, one leader. One Super-President to rule us all.

Where is the democracy in all this? Where are the voices of the people? Democracy is dead. The voices of the people go ignored, unheeded, unneeded, even ridiculed. Four million people signed a petition to stop the post office closures. To no avail. They were ignored. Over one million marched against that illegal war in Iraq. They were allowed to gather and to sing and to shout and then they were ignored. Because Blair was briefed. He was told that it was happening whether or not he liked it. Whether or not it was legal, and whether or not we, the people, said no. The Masterplan must be followed. We are slaves. We are chattel. We are things owned by them. We prove it every single day by not racing down there and ripping off their fucking heads. We prove it every time we say yes, when no is the only right answer.

I see more individual freedom in "backward" nations in Africa. I see more democracy in villages that have no running water and no electricity. I see more wisdom and compassion from those "savages" than I have ever seen from one of our politicians.

There are so many millionaires in the present Cabinet that I fail to comprehend how they could possible know the harm they are causing with their never-ending greed. Their never-ending theft of our money, cloaked in some ridiculous Statutory Instrument, and their seemingly endless stupidity and incompetence. We are stuck with a government nobody voted for. The debt that exists can never be repaid. It can only grow. It can only be passed down to our great-great-great-great grandchildren. As far as I can tell, none of us voted for that. None of us agreed to bail out the banks. Not enough of us agreed to wage war on the Iraqis. None of us agreed to wage war on the Taliban, those same people who never attacked us here in Blighty.

We weren't asked. We weren't consulted. We have disagreed with many governments over many years. We have petitioned, we have protested, we have complained, and we have written our fair share of stern letters to those that purport to represent us. Those are the rules of the game. Those are acceptable acts by the people. They are also useless. Protests and demonstrations can be ignored, our letters end up in the bucket, and our complaints go unregistered.

Every five years we get a chance to change the people that ignore us. Sometimes we do, and sometimes we don't change the Ignorati. Sometimes we like being ignored by the same mob for years and years. Then we pretend that we are in control and we vote out the profoundly deaf and vote in a new mob suffering only from tinnitus expecting that the condition will clear up. It never does. The hearing problem just worsens. And, we continue to repeat the same experiment whilst praying for a different outcome.

But to call this a democracy?

No such thing. Not here. Not for a very long time.


January 12, 2011

First We Had Talking Animals...

...and now we have dead ones.

Millions of them.

They all died between 13th December 2010 and 11th January 2011.

12.13.10 - Thousands of dead barramundi fish wash up in Australia, unknown cause.

12.15.10 - Thousands of dead fish wash ashore on Florida beach, blamed on cold weather

12.17.10 - Dead fish wash ashore at lake beach in Indiana, blamed on winter storms

12.18.10 - Thousands of dead fish turn up in bay in Philippines, unknown causes

12.22.10 - More than a hundred dead pelicans turn up in North Carolina, unknown causes

12.23.10 - Hundreds of dead sea creatures wash ashore in South Carolina, blamed on cold water

12.23.10 - Ten tons of mostly dead fish found in fishing net in New Zealand, unknown causes

12.27.10 - Scores of dead fish wash ashore in a lake in Haiti, unknown causes

12.28.10 - 70 bats found dead in Tucson, Ariz., unknown causes

12.29.10 - Dozens of fish found dead in San Antonio, Texas, unknown causes

12.31.10 - 5,000+ birds found dead in Arkansas, suffering from massive trauma and blood clots

01.03.11 - 100,000+ dead drum fish found in Arkansas river, unknown causes

01.03.11 - Dozens of dead birds show up in a woman's backyard in Kentucky, unknown causes

01.03.11 - Tens of thousands of dead fish wash ashore in Chesapeake Bay, Md., blamed on cold water

01.03.11 - 100 tons of dead fish wash ashore in Brazil, unknown causes

01.04.11 - Several dead manatees found on Florida coast, unknown causes

01.04.11 - Thousands of dead fish wash up on creek in Florida, unknown causes

01.04.11 - Hundreds of dead fish was ashore on St. Clair River in Ontario, Can., unknown causes

01.04.11 - Hundreds of dead black birds found on highway in Louisiana, suffering from internal injuries and blood clots

01.05.11 - Hundreds of dead birds found on highway in Texas, unknown causes

01.05.11 - Large amount of dead fish wash up on New Zealand beaches, unknown causes

01.05.11 - Up to 100 jackdaw birds found dead on road in Sweden, unknown causes

01.06.11 - 40,000+ dead Devil crabs washed ashore in the U.K., unknown causes

01.07.11 - More than 1,000 dead turtle doves found in Italy, unknown causes

01.10.11 - Countless fish found dead in U.K. brook, unknown causes

01.11.11 - Thousands of gizzard shad fish float to the top of Lake Michigan and wash up on the shores near Chicago, blamed on cold weather

Anyone know why?


Light Blogging...

Apologies for the lack of posts just lately.

Work has all of my attention.

Until I can sear your eyeballs with something serious, have this:

Talking animals makes oi larf.


January 08, 2011

US Banks Lose Foreclosure Case

Some of my early posts were about the blatant fraud of banks and the way they handle the paperwork after your mortgage payments begin. I wrote that they sold on those mortgages to other financiers but omitted to tell the home-owner. Should the home-owner fall on hard times or a change in their circumstances means that they miss a few payments, the banks in the US foreclose. The folks are booted out of their homes and the bank then resells the property. Except that they do not have the deeds in their possession. That's because they gave them to the new "owner" when they sold the mortgage on. The trouble is that the buyers also sell the mortgages on, and often, there can be multiple owners of the same property. One man found that 9 different companies around the globe claimed ownership of his home. The judge decided to give the man his deeds and threw the nine companies out of his courtroom. He did not have to pay another penny for his home. A good result.

Yesterday a supreme judicial court upheld a decision by a lower court which alters the game entirely. For a change, it is the banks that will suffer.


"A ruling like this will slow down the foreclosure process" for banks, said Marty Mosby, an analyst at Guggenheim Securities. "They're going to have to be really precise and get everything in order. It doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room."

Wells Fargo and U.S. Bancorp lacked authority to foreclose after having "failed to make the required showing that they were the holders of the mortgages at the time of foreclosure," Justice Ralph Gants wrote for the Massachusetts court.

In a concurring opinion, Justice Robert Cordy lambasted "the utter carelessness" that the banks demonstrated in documenting their right to own the properties.

Courts in other U.S. states are considering similar cases, and all 50 state attorneys general are examining whether lenders are forcing people out of their homes improperly."

The whole story can be found here.

This is a victory for the little guy. Banks have thrown good people out of their homes and they have subsequently been unable to prove that they even have the right paperwork to support their actions.

Our banks are no different. They operate in the same way and it is highly likely that they would be unable to prove that they still owned the "debt" on your home. Remember this if you are ever threatened with eviction. Demand proof. Demand that they can demonstrate a loss because you stopped paying your monthly amount. Demand also to see all the paperwork leading up to the granting of the mortgage and the paperwork generated after it was granted. People have found that their signatures have been "lifted" from one page and inserted on additional pages. This is one of the reasons you are told to "sign in the box, and don't go outside the lines". Your signature is worth millions. Keep an eye on every piece of paper you sign. Get a copy of agreements on the day you sign them just in case they decide to play silly buggers with your moniker.

Banks are not above a little fraud here and there.

So it's really satisfying when they get caught out.


January 07, 2011

Freeman Guide

I was preparing a guide for those who ask for one from time to time.

Then I spotted this.

It was posted by a user called Wannabefree on the FMOTL Forum and my thanks go to him/her.

It has a wide topic range and is contained in a 23 page document.

Topics such as:

The True Structure of Authority
A Short Guide to the Law
Know Your Rights...
A Short Guide to the ‘Person’
A Short Guide to Legalese
Are Governments Trading for Profit?
A Short Guide to Contracts
Standing in Court
The Banking System
A Short and Friendly Guide to Dealing With Policy Enforcers
Constructing a Notice of Understanding and Intent and Claim of Right
Resources Freeman Websites

And I commend it to you. The resource links on the last page are well worth checking out to increase your knowledge on the subject. Many of them have appeared in my blogposts over the last year or so and you will certainly be familiar with some of the video links.

Let me know if you have any questions.


January 05, 2011

Pity The Bankers...

...their little fingers are worn out counting all our money.

They have done spectacularly well out of the financial meltdown. Is there ever a time when these wastrels actually feel any pain?

Alice explains it perfectly. She has graphs and everything.

If you think you can stand a little more truth, and more importantly, you can stand to learn just how much they are taking the piss, click your way over there.

It will do nothing for your blood-pressure though....


Democracy? Not In Suffolk, Thank You Very Much!

I love it when a poll comes together.

Tourism chiefs recently ran a poll to find Suffolk's most iconic image.

Despite winning by a landslide, black metal group, (WTF is one of them when it's at home?), Cradle of Filth were rejected by the chiefs.

Not right, see? Not right at all. Not for sleepy old Suffolk.

***Weasel words warning***

And here they are.....

Speaking about the decision, Tim Passmore, the interim chief executive of Choose Suffolk, said: "The finalist icons have been selected because the judging panel believe they have a countywide resonance and are symbolic of Suffolk, and extend across the county and beyond its borders.

"As a user-generated gallery, the site was designed to engage with visitors and encourage their participation. We are encouraged this remit has been successful. However, while some of the images on the site may have gained a larger proportion of visitors' votes, the judging panel felt that their list of finalists displays the required credentials to act as representative iconic images of Suffolk."

The needs of the few damn well outweigh the needs of the many.


January 03, 2011

Scottish Independence?

Right. Having upset the religious, this time I'll probably upset the Scots.

About three minutes after the Act of Union was signed in 1707, a group of Scotsmen (women weren't allowed opinions back then), decided that they wanted to break away from the Union and seek independence. They have been banging on about it now for 304 years. They are no closer to independence now than they were back then, or indeed, at any time in between. And that's despite having heavy hitters like Shir Shorn Connery on the team. Not even Wee Eck, Scotlands First Monster, has had much of an impact. As a matter of fact, he may even have set the "cause" back by a few years...

In pictorial terms, Scotlands chances of gaining independence are similar to this photo I took about 20 minutes ago while walking the dogs.

Which is to say, raggedy and in need of renewal, rejuvenation or.....scrapping.

I am the one in ten. I am one of the 500,000 Englishmen in a population of 5.2 million Scots. My next door neighbour (two houses ago) is a staunch SNP man. He believes only an independent Scotland can survive and thrive and demands that they leave the Union immediately, if not sooner. He is a proud man, and indeed, the Scots are a proud nation. Whatever you might read in the newspapers, the Scots are generous, friendly, and welcoming. Having lived here for over 20 years I can attest to that. There is some racism but I give as good as I get, by which I mean I respond to the friendly banter with friendly banter and if any Scot gives me lip about my being here, I gently tell him or her to getifa ya bassa. (Research Billy Connolly if you struggle with the phraseology). My neighbour once told me, quite venomously, "Scottish independence has nothing to do with you!". Meaning that I should leave Scotlands future to the Scots. And for many years I did. When asked about it I would often say, "Well, if you guys want independence, go for it. It's your country". And I genuinely believed that it was none of my business. I feel like a guest here. It isn't my country and I am constantly reminded of that fact. Both of my sons, one born in Rochdale and one born in Aberdeen, tell our English relatives that they are Scotsmen. Which is fine by me. They define themselves, and if they want to be Scots, then they can be.

Would I be chasing independence if I were a Scot? Absolutely. You are all following my struggle to be an independent human being, so freeing my nation would be a requisite. Not a "nice to have", but absolutely essential. Scotland does not need to ride the shirt-tails of the Union. It can stand on its own two feet.

And therein lies the problem.

It will not. Moreover, they are happy to tell you that they will not stand alone.

The Scottish National Party is riddled with europhiles. They, like the goons in Westminster, know what a gravy-train looks like. I predict that if independence is ever won, the Scots will give it up after about 10 seconds. Before the first champagne cork even lands, some feckless wonder will be on the horn to von Rumpy demanding money. The grants will be huge and they will be delivered swiftly. The Scots will then kid themselves that they are free and independent from one union whilst swearing blood-oaths to a master much worse, and much more demanding than the old one. And please, don't be telling me that the pretendy parliament at Holyrood has any serious autonomy. They are fed scraps from the Big Boys Table. Crappy scraps, at that. I find it insulting and I am not even Scottish.

Yes. They will run rapidly to von Rumpy and beg for scraps from a different table.

I suppose one answer will be "Why not? If Ireland (similar in population) can qualify for billions in grants, why not us?". My response would be that after over three hundred years of wanting to break away, why the hell would you immediately surrender your newly won sovereignty for a bag of shiny beads? The SNP will sell this country cheap. It would be the crime of the millenium. But they wear only short distance glasses, each one of them is looking for personal glory and they will ignore the medium or long term damage. For now, a seat in the (Scottish?) Lords will be prize enough. Bragging rights are about as lofty as their ambitions go.

Of course, independence for Scotland would mean that the UK, (now broken up) would need to re-apply for membership of The Stupidest Club In The World, and that is not a bad thing. I for one would be cock-a-hoop. Scotland would also need to apply but Brussels would accept them in a heartbeat. No questions asked. They'll take almost anyone. Tell them you will change to the doomed euro as well and you will probably get a signing-on bonus.

On balance then, I should support independence for Scotland. Not because it frees the Scots, but because it frees me. An Englishman. Would I stay in a Scotland in thrall of the EU? Nope. Would I immediately sell up and head south? Yep. Would I have a twinge of conscience about leaving? Nope. Not a jot.

An independent Scotland is coming, I reckon. But, then again I am firmly enveloped in a fanatically SNP region. It's Nats as far as the eye can see up here in Aberdeenshire. So there is an appetite for independence here, but at what cost? Not to the almighty Union, but to their nation and much more importantly, to themselves.

There is probably much more to consider than the few points I have made here.

Do what you do best:

Correct me.


Desktop Clutter

I promised our Antipodean pal that I would make this my first post of 2011.

I am pretty pleased that I waited a couple of days. My office (which is situated about 10 yards from the house) was in a right old state and something drastic needed to be done. Mrs Ranty chipped in and we spent all day tidying it up.

This is the result.

The contents of my desk are tame compared to a couple of days ago. The objects you can see are as follows:

1. Two monitors (one is used almost exclusively for video conferencing and the other is used for viewing/manipulating documents during the call).

2. A Cisco IP Phone

3. A Blackberry

4. Wireless keyboard

5. Standard mouse (I got sick and tired of changing the batteries).

6. Two Romeo y Julieta cigar tubes (one is empty, the other has a cigar inside. They are shite, BTW).

7. Stapler, Tipp-Ex and sellotape

8. Plenty of Luckies.

9. New Falcon pipe (Christmas pressie)

10. Notepad and pencil (for taking, erm, notes).

11. UB40 CD (Best of, Vols 1 & 2)

12. Dunhill ashtray (Nicked from a hotel somewhere in Africa)

13. Coffee cup (most important item on the desk, apart from the Luckies).

14. Laptop and docking station (Although I think they are now called port replicators).

15. Key for office building.

Around the room I have some other stuff but couldn't fit it all in the photo. A quick glance reveals masks from Asia and Africa, a pair of binoculars, a Silva compass, a home-made walking stick, a certificate for parachuting, a certificate for completing a 40 mile yomp over what the army describe as "undulating terrain", a shisha pipe, six or seven small (but odd) musical instruments from around the world, a desert rose from the Sahara, a rock that looks like a fossilised dog-turd (also from the Sahara), a box of 50 King Edward cigars, books on various languages (Arabic, French and Italian), my army dog-tags and a native American dreamcatcher. Oh, and an empty wine bottle.

Pretty dull really. I can confirm that I did have a tape measure on the desk pre-tidy up.

I will tag Ian and our new pal from across the pond, Christopher.