April 30, 2010

It's Okay Folks. She's Apologised.

No need for concern. Nothing to see. Move along.

Uber Twitterati Kerry McCarthy (pictured, with a word or two from her fans) has broken the law. She twittered postal vote details. The Electoral Commission says that this is a crime. The evidence of her wrongdoing is all over the interweb.

But, in true Zanu PF Labour style, all she has to do is apologise and it all goes away. It worked for Baroness Scotland, and it worked for Lord Ahmed, just as it worked for Harridan Harman.

Let us imagine that I shot my neighbour. In the face. With an Uzi.

(Ring ring)

Ranty: "Hello. Is that the police?"

Dibble: "Aye".

Ranty: "Just shot my neighbour. In the face. With an Uzi".

Dibble: "You bastard. We'll be right there".

Ranty: "Steady on mate. I'm sorry".

Dibble: "Oh! Well why didn't you say earlier? I pictured a day of reports, interviews, arrests, charges, meeting with the Procurator Fiscal, perhaps a little beating for you, and the inevitable press call. But now that you've apologised I can get on with my bacon sammitch. Mind how you go. Bye".


Ranty; "Morning boss. You know that confidential tender I have been working on for the last ten days? I sent it to all our competitors".

Boss: "What?!! Your ass is on the line here. I may fire you. Gross misconduct".

Ranty: "Hang on, hang on! I apologise".

Boss: "Cool. Talk to you later then, you rascal you."

This is what she had to say:

"In a statement released by Labour, Ms McCarthy said: "On hearing the results of a random and unscientific sample of postal votes, I posted them on Twitter. It was a thoughtless thing to do, and I very quickly realised that it was not appropriate to put such information in the public domain.

"Because this was not official information, and no votes had been counted, I thought of it as being akin to canvass returns, i.e. telling people how well we were doing with Labour promises on the doorstep, but I appreciate now it was wrong to do so. I have personally called the Returning Officer at Bristol City Council to apologise, and assured him I have removed the information as quickly as possible, within a matter of minutes. He has advised that it would not be lawful for anyone else to publish the information, for example, by re-posting my original Tweet."

EDIT:-Forgot to add the source

So that's alright then. She didn't break the law after all. She was just "thoughtless". See how she swiftly reminds everyone else that if they publish HER tweet it would be unlawful?

Fucking marvellous.

EDIT2: You can watch the movie here courtesy of Fido.

Fucking marvellous!


April 29, 2010

Brown Brain Scan Leaked

Apparently this image, using state of the art technology, was captured seconds after the Brown Gorgon got caught showing his true feelings for the British electorate. Lord Fondlebottom has been working overtime to stop it getting out ensure every newspaper in the land gets a copy.

Leading brain surgeon Ivor Scalpel said, allegedly, "A rage like this would kill a normal person. Only someone who is used to erupting like this can withstand the damage done to millions of synaptic connections. Of course, previous eruptions have rendered this man gormless. I don't know whose image this is but if I were to guess, I'd say you had a gibbering idiot on your hands. The slavering poltroon this image comes from is not capable of rational thought or responsibility, and obviously sweeps up somewhere. Badly. And yes, we surgeons do use language like that when we know it won't be printed. What? It will be? Oh shit!".

Tomorrow we cut Cleggy Boy in half to see if it says EU EU EU EU EU EU all the way through the middle, and on Saturday we are using sodium pentathol on CMD's personal doctor in order to find out if he has a pair. At all.


Catch Me If You Can

I don't normally switch on my propaganda unit but I will on May 4th.

Erasing David looks like it may be worth a watch.

The linked trailer tells you all you need to know but essentially, our hero is going off grid for 30 days. A security company will use all the tools at their disposal to track him down.

It promises to give a unique glimpse of how deeply surveillance is embedded in our towns and cities.

Catch it if you can.


For The Lavender Mob

I just found another linker.

Please pop around to The Foggy Mirror if you get the time.

One recent posting I have borrowed stolen is below. It is funny, but it is also a lesson. (To me, especially). And the lesson is this: if you are going to quote from a source, quote all of it. Otherwise you leave yourself wide open.

I don't know if the gay community are still referred to as the Lavender Mob but no insult is intended. (How PC am I?)

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative.

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual un-cleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of 
God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,

I'm glad I found you Mr Foggy. You are now an Awkward Sod.


April 28, 2010

Spain Downgraded, Joins Greece And Portugal

Who will be next? Italy? Germany? The UK?

The whole sad tale is right here.

And why do they always leave announcements like this until the markets close?

Disintegration is nigh.

Thank your gods.


Egg, Meet Face

Courtesy of El Reg comes this tale of green fuckwittery.

Seems that the Kalifornians wanted to build a zero energy house.

So they built this super looking dwelling. They used all the latest techniques, goaded on by the tree-huggers.

Looks pretty, does it not?

Trouble is, it uses 30% MORE ENERGY than a normal home. How I lolled!

You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried.

And before the Greenies descend in droves, we at Ranty Barracks recycle. We walk when we can. We don't litter. We turn off lights and equipment not in use. Hell, we even have a slop bucket. (Have done for a year or two now. God Bless the Scotch Greenies).

But your 'umble Captain flies 30 times a year so that destroys all the good works.

Time for a new slogan, I reckon. Here is my suggestion:

"The Greens. Destroying the planet one house at a time".

I'll want paying if you use it.


New Kid On The Block

I just discovered another budding Freeman. I found the blog by pure chance. (Actually, I found it by clicking on the link in Sitemeter).

Go take a look here.

Can I ask a favour? Many people have me in their blogrolls and when I find them (by luck or by design) I feel slightly embarrassed that I am not reciprocating.

In the spirit of good blogliness, please would you let me know in the comments if you link to me but I don't link to you?

I will then make sure you appear in my "Awkward Sods" list on the left hand side.

Much obliged,

Captain James Hortense* Steven Elizabeth* Ranty III (Retd).

*I think mum was hoping for a girl. Which she sort of gets. Every second Thursday down at the Transformation Clinic.

April 27, 2010

EU Edifice Crumbling

Oh dear.

The Eurozone is having problems. Whilst I care a great deal about the human element, I am rejoicing that this forced community, this absurdity, is on the verge of collapse.

Portugal's main stock index dropped 5.4 percent, while Greece's plummeted 6 percent.Germany's DAX index dropped 2.7 percent, and France's CAC-40 tumbled 2.8 percent.  Britain's FTSE 100 fell 2.6 percent.

Taken from here.

In addition:

And the two countries in the firing line tanked too, though the downgrade of Greece came after Athens' stock market had shut — even so the composite index ended 6 percent lower at 1,696.68. Lisbon's main PSI index was 4.4 percent lower at 7,223.04.
Once again, the debt crisis engulfing the eurozone was at the forefront of investors' attention despite last week's request by the Greek government to tap a rescue package from its 15 partners in the eurozone and the International Monetary Fund.

Taken from here.

Portugal joins Greece as both of these countries are downgraded by Standard & Poors. Who is next, I wonder?

Any budding economists care to guess?

EDIT: Don't bother. It's probably us. Nicked from Burning Our Money


Lap Dancer Marries Millionaire

Apparently they have loads in common. For a start there's his money, and then there's....well, his money. (Which just morphed into their money. How lucky was that?)

What more do you need for a strong, healthy relationship?

Last year Bowness said she gets angry that any mention of millionaire Sinclair is usually pre-fixed with the adjective "balding".

"He's actually incredibly attractive to women," she fumed. "You can't tell from the pictures".

No love. You can't. And that balding thing is just scurrilous. His hair is lustrous. A veritable mane. No doubt L'Oreal are on the phone to his agent this very second.

Full story here.


PS-I don't normally run things like this but this one wins my April Bullshit Award.

Creating Money Out Of Thin Air-The Proof

A short film which destroys all the myths you previously believed about the origins of money. (Put a small cushion on your desk to protect your jaw when you discover the source).

If you end up in financial straits, simply ask the bank/building society to validate and verify their loss if you default. They cannot. They cannot because they have lost absolutely nothing. A loan is a contract. For a contract to be lawful there has to be equal consideration. One side takes a "risk", and the other promises to repay. But if the lender has risked nothing, it has not provided equal consideration. In (contract) law, this is the most serious of sins. Research this subject deeply. It may well come in handy one day.

Another little tip, this time concerning debt recovery firms/debt collection agents. These firms usually "buy" your debt from the company you have defaulted on. They then charge round to your house to demand money and/or threaten court action. Confirm that they have paid off the company you were dealing with, and then say "Thank you". The debt has been repaid and you don't have a contract with the debt recovery/debt collection people. You owe them nothing. Remember to smile politely when you thank them. If they get nasty, call the bobbies. Explain to them that the thugs at your door are demanding money with menaces. That is against the law. Explain also that the DRF/DCA admitted that they had repaid your debt to ABC Ltd and that you have no contract with the goons. They don't like it, but so what?

If you don't like that method, simply talk to the goons on the pavement or street. Ensure that you have a witness (it can be anybody, a postman, a passer-by), and get the goon to tell you how much you owe. In law, a private debt spoken of in a public place, is repaid. They (the goons) are absolutely not permitted to mention your debt publicly. Be sure to get contact details from your witness.

Check it out with a solicitor first. A good one will tell you the truth.


April 26, 2010

Theft Report-A Reminder For May 6th

10 days to go.

10 days left to ensure that this theft can be reversed and we can have all stolen items returned to us.

10 days left to change your minds and avoid voting for LibLabCon.

This is my first ever repeat post but I hope you agree that it is worth repeating as a reminder to all those who will simply vote for more of the same. Or worse. Vote for the Big Three and you condone this theft.

Let's get our country back under British control.

Here you go:

This actually falls under pre-crime, because the theft will not take place until 00:01 hours, Tuesday 1st December 2009.

It is a notable theft and bears reporting. Many others have tried, and failed, to obtain police action. Politicians have been asked, and in turn, they have ignored our questions, and our documented demands that they cease and desist. Not surprising, when you learn that it is the politicians themselves that will aid and abet in the theft.

What will be taken?

A few small items. Items that we have had in our possession for around a thousand years. Antiques, then? Well, sort of. These particular ancient items are truly priceless. Countless numbers of people have died, have been imprisoned, and had their lives ruined in the obtaining and in the retaining of these precious items. We thought that they were safe, we thought we would keep them forever, but a group of mindless, thoughtless, greedy and inept people, charged with their safekeeping went to great lengths to ensure that the theft will take place.

Item 1.

Habeas corpus ad subjiciendum. Latin for "you may hold the body subject to examination". This undeniable right protects one from the state. Whilst it is in place, no-one can lock you away without having solid lawful reasons to do so. Today, if you believe that you have been incarcerated and no evidence supports that incarceration, you can demand a Writ of Habeas Corpus from the court. The court will then examine evidence that you should be gaoled, remanded, or sectioned. You might also be interested to learn that once habeas corpus is gone you can be incarcerated for up to eight months without charge. This item will be stolen just after midnight on Monday 30th November 2009.

Item 2.

Courts de jure. Latin for "courts by jury". Today we have some 70 courts in our land geared for jury trials. On Tuesday morning your right to be judged by a jury of your peers evaporates completely. All magistrates courts are now companies with limited liability. They are, for want of a better term, places of business. Justice is not dispensed. A negotiation takes place. Crown courts will now become de facto courts. Same stage, same actors, same anticipated outcome. You will part with money, or your freedom, based on the whim or the mood, of one man or one woman. This item will be stolen just after midnight on Monday 30th November 2009.

Item 3.

Innocent until proven guilty. On Tuesday morning we start playing a whole new game whereby you, the accused, are guilty until you can prove your innocence. Our age old method under Common Law is dumped without ceremony and we revert instead to a mix of Napoleonic and Roman Law. Instead of having to convince 12 good men and true (15 in Scotland) that you are innocent, you now have to prove to one man or one woman that you are not guilty. This item will be stolen just after midnight on Monday 30th November 2009.

Item 4.

Loss of sovereignty. We are an ancient civilisation. People inhabited this land thousands of years before the Egyptians issued the tenders for pyramid building. Countless lives have been lost defending our little island. It had been a mecca for those wanting to live unfettered lives. Until now. Those immigration gates were flung wide and we invited in that Trojan horse, not filled with soldiers but with people intent on taking, taking, taking for themselves. Hundreds of thousands, millions, arrived under Labours watch, not to better themselves per se, but to help themselves to benefits we pay for. As I have previously stated on this blog, all are welcome. If they are prepared to work. The plan, masterminded by those fools in parliament, appears now to have been a deliberate act to dilute us, to weaken us, to take away inalienable rights, and give the immigrants more rights than naturalised Britons. Under the EU our sovereignty is dead and buried. No more English, no more Scots, no more Irish, no more Welsh. We are all european now.  This item will be stolen just after midnight on Monday 30th November 2009.

 Item 5.

Democracy. From the Greek demokratia-power to the people. The first democratically elected parliament was De Montforts in England in 1265. We shared this method of rule with others, and it spread. Many authoritarian systems have been toppled only to have democracy established. On Tuesday morning we give away this unique method of rule for an oligarchy. Mandarins in Europe are not elected. They are selected. No previous experience is required. Which is handy if you are a (well connected) imbecile. Fat salary, fat pension, fat chance of actually having to work for a living like the proles. Arguably, because of their vastly diminished responsibilities, we have no need for a parliament, no need of the traitorous monarch, and certainly no need to pay 646 goons and their back-room staff billions every year. Brussels will rule absolutely. They will waste our money with unimagined skill. Bye bye democracy. It was nice while it lasted. This item will be stolen just after midnight on Monday 30th November 2009.

I have to stop. This is far too depressing. I had another 15 or 20 items lined up that I had researched earlier today.

The theft of any one of the five items above shocks me to the core. I never thought that our own MPs would terrify me more than al Qaeda, but that day has arrived.

I have tried to avoid saying this, but I predict a riot. I predict running battles on the streets of Britain Euro Regions 1-8. I predict many deaths and much bloodshed once the sheeple awake to the nightmare I have envisaged for the last five or six years. The day has come and the thefts are planned. The loss of these items will, I fear, reverberate down the years. It is our undoing.

Legally, I could not have said any of this after midnight on Monday. To criticise the EU becomes a crime then*.

What have we allowed to happen?

And, much more importantly, what will we do about it?

If you have any suggestions, get them in quickly. Tuesday morning cometh fast, and by then it will be too late.


* Several people have asked for a link. Here it is.

April 25, 2010

Watch MEPs Steal YOUR Money

If any of you wonder why I bang on about the EU so much, here are 14,727 reasons.

This (German) report was filmed in June 2008.

Nothing has changed. They rob us on a daily basis. They have no shame, they have no ethics, they have no morality.

On May 6th you have the power to end this unadulterated greed.


PS-Look out for the Green Party. This wifey travels great distances (poor Gaia!) just to "clock on" at 7am so that she qualifies for the daily allowance.

April 24, 2010

Vote small, Think BIG

This is a shocking video. For all the right reasons.

It is the only video I have seen that demands to be seen by all voters. Pat Condell uses a thing we rarely see in politics: common sense. Unlike LibLabCon who speak with forked tongue, Pat hurls the truth our way.

It is refreshing. It is honest. It deserves to be seen on every television channel every day until the polls open.

Watch, listen, then spread it around like a virus.

This is one germ that we all need to catch.


Tip of the beret to Fraser from whom I shamelessly pinched the vid.

Tory Number Crunching

I'm no fan of the Conservatives*, but this one minute video is an eye-opener. It was clever of them to put it together.

If they wanted to be really clever, they would make a short video showing us how much they will save us.

*All I need to hear are those five magic words: We. Are. Leaving. The. EU. And they can have my vote.

As always, they are not listening. They have contracted selective deafness. Fine by me. I have contracted selective voting.

You need me, but I definitely do not need you.

Now, are you learning yet?


April 22, 2010

Remember THIS On May 6th.

This blog post is aimed at the dwindling number of Labour supporters.

When you trot down to the polling station in 14 days time, remember what they did.

They sent our sons and daughters off to Iraq and an illegal war. They were underpaid and under-equipped. They came home in body bags, or with shattered bodies and broken minds. When they got home they were treated like scum. Medical treatment was woefully inadequate and psychiatric care was almost impossible to find for these brave, but tortured souls. While they were dying or being maimed, the party YOU support was stealing all the money it could from taxpayers. Then they whined that it was within the rules and said that some had to be watched closely lest they committed suicide. I for one, wished they had all killed themselves. There would have been some honour in that.

Now we see our troops come home to Wootton Bassett from the killing fields in Helmand Province in body bags. How often do you spot a politician standing along the road to pay their respects? Yeah. Me neither. Ask anyone you know "Why are we there?" and I almost guarantee that the answer will be "I have no clue". That would be my answer too. Iraq was obvious. It was for oil. But Afghanistan? Could we be there just to stop the Taliban from taking control of the poppy fields? Is it about drugs, and the massive profits to be made from them? It's as good an answer as any others I hear. The one reason that makes no sense is the old shite about the War on Terror. To my certain knowledge, the Taliban never once targeted the UK mainland. Medical care has not improved. Their pay is pathetic, given that they risk all. Chinooks, so badly needed, continue to gather dust in hangars. Our armed forces, once the envy of the world, are called "The Borrowers" because they have so little equipment.

It's time to bring our people home from Afghanistan. A vote for Labour ensures that we will lose thousands more troops because they lack the courage to say "We are scared to admit we were wrong. We shouldn't be there".

More dead. More wounded. More mentally affected. More grief. More heartbreak.

For nothing.

On the 6th May vote for someone else.



April 21, 2010

Sovereigns Restore America

Can we do the same here?

I'm up for it.


Adventures In Euroland-Journeys End.

Well, that's me back home safe.

It was a bit of an epic trek, and I will expand right here, a little later in the day.

Thank you all for your supportive comments and good wishes in the previous blogs' comments section.

My family are working in shifts to hose me down. Three days worth of travel grime is proving hard to scrape off.

As soon as I am presentable I will get scribbling.


Alrighty then. I are clean. Mrs Ranty, Praise Be Upon Her, volunteered to steam-clean the waist to thigh region. It wasn't pretty but medals were awarded once I had covered up the offensive zone. There were many tears but, with counselling, I think we will all emerge stronger, better humans.

I left you in Rome, I think. I had picked up a traveling companion. A man from Wimbledon, who had good experience of Italian and French transport systems so we hooked up when we checked into the hotel (the Radisson Blu) opposite the Rome train station (known as the Termini). We were asked if we wanted smoking or non smoking rooms. My new pal, (we'll call him Bob) said, in a disgusted tone "Non smoking for me", and was allocated a standard room. "And for Signor Ranty?", "Oh", says I, "smoking, most definitely". The chappy then says "Sorry signor, but we 'ave no more standard rooms, I 'ave to upgrade you to a superior room". Bob's face was a picture.

Next morning at 8 am we scoot over to the termini to try and find tickets to Milan. Bodies littered the place, forlorn faces as far as the eye could see. I joined a queue for tickets and so did Bob. Despite regular announcements over the tannoy saying that no-one would be able to purchase tickets to northern Europe until the 23rd April (!), we got two first class tickets to Milan. Five or six hours later we arrived. Suitably refreshed. Bob is jiggy with alcohol, but detests smoking. He has all the facts he needs on tobacco so I didn't bother educating him. Pearls to the swine, and all that. In Milan, we both got on Italian telly but I was not required to speak. (I wonder if the telly girl in in Rome phoned ahead and warned them about a scruffy little foul mouthed Englishman?). Queued for 4 hours and managed to buy tickets to a station on the Italian border. The plan was to take a taxi over the border to a TGV station and try to get to Paris from there. It had now been around 8 hours since I had indulged my love of tobacco so I told Bob I was heading outside. He actually wanted to stay in the station for some reason (we had three hours to kill) but I was not having any of it. Outside, 10 seconds after I lit up, a French bloke comes up to me with the word PARIS written on an A4 sheet. How much, I ask. He says "900 Euro". No thanks, says I. Bob walks up to me and asks what the Frenchy wanted, so I told him. Bob, speaking in French, asks the bloke the price. It turns out to be 90 Euro. We nearly tear his arm off. 20 minutes later we are sat on a luxury 60 seater coach heading for Paris. It was a very long 12 hour drive through mountains, valleys, towns and cities, but with regular stops for food, drink and fag-breaks, I was reasonably content.

This is the "EWWW!!" moment, so if you are sensitive, skip to the next paragraph. Remember the broken zip? I had found, in my "superior room" in Rome, a little sewing kit. In there was a tiny safety pin. I had it clamping my flies shut to avoid cries of "Pervert!" along the journey. It didn't do much, but when used in conjunction with an untucked shirt-tail, my modesty was almost assured. Anyhoo, I needed to pee. I used the coach toilet. Things were cramped in there and there was much ducking, swearing and fumbling. I got finished and looked for the safety pin. It was gone! I searched the tiny floor space but found nothing. I looked into the toilet and there it was, shining at me under a pint of cold piss. I rolled up my sleeve and reached in....couldn't grip the damn thing! I had trimmed my nails a day or two earlier and it took me well over a minute to fish the little bastard out of there. Washed up, dried everything off and re-attached my little friend. At least it was my own urine. But I may have gone in anyway. Just glad I didn't need a poopy.

Got to Paris at around 1:30 in the morning. Checked into a shitty little hotel near Gard du Nord. We had booked tickets to Calais for the next morning. Left the hotel at 6 am and strolled up the road to the station. Another scene from Vietnam when the Americans evacuated awaited us. By now we had picked up another refugee, this one from New York. He had been trying to get to London to see his fiance. He got as far as Milan and stayed there for five days. We met him on the coach to Paris. A nice bloke. A banker. Works for JP Morgan.

The rest of the story is fairly boring: arrived Calais, the American got grilled by UK Border people, we got on the shuttle, got to London, the American and I hopped on a train from Wimbledon to Kings Cross and we said good-bye. Both swearing to contact the other if we ever visited each others home town. I waited a couple of hours for my train to Aberdeen, (a textbook journey, no horrors to report), arrived on time, found a taxi to Aberdeen airport (to retrieve my car from the car park) and drove home.

The thing that constantly amazed me was the crowds. Not just the sheer numbers of people stranded, but their unwillingness to help themselves. The vast majority just sat. Waiting. For someone else to come to the rescue. To get them home. I imagine most of them are still sat there, demanding attention. Many muttered about compensation. Payouts. Apologies. From whom, I wondered? This was an act of god, followed swiftly by an act of stupidity. A volcano erupted and stalled everything. Then the Met Office (in cahoots with others) managed to turn a sneeze into full blown pneumonia. Smoke, from any source imaginable, turns (allegedly) educated people into morons. This was a classic example of fools over-reacting.

Would I do it all again?

I have to. It's what I do. In an hours time I will be on the phone to my travel people to organise my next trip to Libya. I leave on the 1st May. I am due to get home....well, whenever I get home. I'd prefer a 6 hour journey from North Africa to Aberdeen but if it doesn't happen, I know that I can make it using alternative modes of transport.

Just not this week though. I need to recover.


April 18, 2010

When In Rome...

...spend over four hours in a queue at Rome Central Station to get a ticket to Milan.

And fail.

Naturally, the ticket office closed just before I got there. My feet hurt, and I am overwhelmed by the tales of fellow travelers as they tried like fuck to get home. Some of them have been at it since last Thursday. How they remain as calm as they do is beyond me. I am only 18 hours in. I managed to fly from Tripoli to Rome. It took one and a half hours. I have no right to complain. Twenty minutes ago I did get my hands on a ticket to Milan with not much hope of progressing further. I cannot begin to describe the excitement and sheer bliss of rail travel.

So I won't.

Of course, just as I head north into the "eye of the cloud", a decision is taken to open UK airspace again. Nothing to do with my safety, I hasten to add. No. The problem, the same as it ever was, concerns profits.

Trouble is, dear readers, this sudden openess of the skies is useless to me. The French, lazy, insolent bastards that they are, are enjoying the extra duvet time and will not declare their skies open until I have spent over a thousand Euros on my trip home.

Upside? Plenny of Italian wine, beer and a heaven sent new liquid that the locals call grappa. I am drinking it by the bucketload and have lost the sight in one eye. Everything south of my belt buckle refuses to function.

And I mean everything.

I think know I have the most serious challenge Cillit Bang has faced since it first appeared on our screens.

To cap it all, my fucking fly is broken. I did not bring any spare pantaloons. I now look like a drink-riddled international sexual deviant. Strangely, I couldn't give a shit.

If I DON'T get arrested for something it will be a fucking miracle.

Next report when I can steal some more bandwidth.

Play nice.


PS-your stained author was interviewed briefly on Italian telly. I would dearly love to have seen the subtitles they inserted for my words. Some examples: fuck, fucky, fuckingbastardsonsofwhores, cunty Icelandic twats, over-cautious fucking British Airways scum-sucking arseholes, workshy arrogant Italian train fucking worker bastard shits, Alitalia mongs with attitude fucking problems, yes! I am really fucking looking fucking forward to another eighteen fucking hours in your fucking country when I should only need fucking one to miss it enfuckingtirely you scabby, motherless cunts, and so on and so forth. Fade to reasonably happy looking Estonian chick with a fine pair of gams. (Who, I suspect, hoovered up the last stocks of meow meow).

April 17, 2010

Planes, Trains And Automobiles

Icelandic shenanigans, pictured earlier today.

My liver screameth. It is as dry as a camel drivers flip-flop.

So I am setting off tomorrow, and with a bit of luck and a fair wind, I will arrive back in Scotland in time for the general election.

The route is pretty convoluted and I was never one for "It's the journey that counts". People who come out with shit like that only travel once every five years. I would very much like to see transportation of the Star Trek variety. You know, step into a cupboard, blink, and step out of it thousands of miles away.

Instead, I will be doing a lot of blinking, and getting nowhere fast. First leg is Tripoli to Rome. (If the plane takes off tomorrow*). Then a train to Paris. Then Paris London, and finally, London Aberdeen. Or, I may hire a car and do some of the journey avoiding a high-speed death.

*If not, I will fly from Tripoli to Malta, Malta to Madrid, then use a train or a hire car. If no planes are taking off, I will get a ferry to Malta, then a ferry from Malta to Sicily, swim from Sicily to Italy, and then up through Italy on a train or on a donkey, whichever is available. Plans are fluid. Which is handy, because my back teeth will be floating in alcohol. I may even end up in Gdansk. Or Melbourne.

Word on the street is that all those super-fast trains are jammed tighter than Talibans in a cave, so I may well be using those stop/start scenic trains. Be still, my beating heart.

Every cloud, though, has a silver lining. I estimate that I can be hammered shortly before climbing onto the train in Rome, and if I put in some effort, I can stay three sheets to the wind for most of the trip and still have time to sober up before I get to Aberdeen. Result!

If I get access to the internet along the way I will blog. I rarely have "adventure-free" travel, so it may be more interesting to read about than to actually experience. I regularly get arrested in Africa, so I wonder how the European cops will compare....

We'll see how it goes.


April 16, 2010

The Mother Of All Referendums

In just nineteen days we get to choose. In just nineteen days the fate of our nation rests with us.

On May 6th we get to decide whether we re-endorse the ineptitude of the Labour party, and forgive all of its' mistakes during the last thirteen years, or to endorse a slightly less authoritarian mob called the Conservatives, or, heaven forfend, elect a group of people famous for never deciding anything at all, ever. This last group, whose raison detre I fail completely to comprehend, has not served as a government since 1922. A recent poll said that the LibDems have now overtaken Labour in the popularity stakes. Glory be. If any party needs to be reminded how useless they are, it is the Labour party. This news brought a wry grin, and no small feeling of terror that Cleggy, who is aged around seventeen and three quarters, may form a whole government of fence-sitters. A Labour government, fuelled as it was, by stupidity, seems preferable to me than a party fuelled entirely by indecision. We do not want, or need, a weak government. CMD should have grasped by now that we do not want a clone of the last lot either. It really is hard to spot the differences though, is it not?

I am feeling less anxious than I was the other day when I discovered how worthless my vote actually was. I have decided that I will use my vote, however weak or strong, in the following referenda:

The vile smoking ban
The shoddy/non-existing "science" surrounding AGW/Climate Change
4.2 million CCTV cameras
Flogging our gold off at the worst time ever
Sharia Law
The National Debt
The "requirement" to pass one new statute per day
ID Cards
Loss of liberty
Loss of habeas corpus
Loss of jury trials
Loss of presumed innocence
The illegal wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
The treatment of our servicemen and women

and many, many other things.

May 6th is MY referendum day. May 6th is when I get to say "No more. I am selecting someone new, someone different. Someone who knows, as I do, that the status quo cannot be tolerated any longer". And I will remind them why I have chosen someone else. I will tell them, without flinching, just how badly they have performed. Just how outrageously they have let down the British people. Just how utterly disgusted we are at their greed, their unseemly clamour to steal money off us to pay for second homes, porn films, duck accommodation, and a thousand other trivial things that they felt were claimable from the public purse. And just how pathetic they appear when they try to tell us, in their whiney voices, "It was within the rules!"

May 6th is our chance to fire them. May 6th is a date that all responsible Britons should write on their hands with a permanent marker and ensure that they travel that short road to the polling booths to say "WE DEMAND CHANGE!".

A different outcome, a more pleasurable future, more accountability, fewer thieves in the Palace of Westminster, is finally in YOUR hands. So think on. Your next opportunity for radical change will not reappear until 2015. God alone knows how much damage the wrong party will create in the intervening years.

I would not dare to suggest that you should vote for A, B or C. Who you vote for is between you and your conscience. But I do implore you: do NOT vote for Labour because your dad always did. Do NOT vote Conservative because Uncle William is going to. Do NOT vote LibDem because Aunty Mabel said they are best for the job. Instead, take a cold hard look at the contenders. Find out for yourself. Who amongst them will continue to listen to you after you elect them? Which party will honour their manifesto pledges? Which of these men and women actually care about you, your family, your community and your country?

Do not be concerned with their colour. Do not be concerned with their ethnicity. Do not be concerned with their sexual orientation. Listen. Just listen to their message. Is your choice of MP honourable? That is the only question you need concern yourself with. Skin colour, ethnicity, and sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with honour. Honour has no colour. Honour is multinational. Honour is asexual. If your candidate is singing your song then tick the box alongside their name, get behind them, and convince your friends to do the same. This is all really simple, and I am sure you do not need to reminded. Your friends, however, may need a nudge. So get nudging.

This general election is arguably the most important election in living memory. The government we elect are going to have to make some tough decisions. That means that the LibDems are out of the running. They are going to have to be efficient, less wasteful, and listen to the electorate. That means that Labour must not be elected. They need to roll back the nanny state, destroy millions of cameras, and have a sensible solution to the financial crisis we all face. Which precludes the Tories. Any incoming government MUST get us out of Europe. We have steered our own course for thousands of years, without interference from an unelected, unaccountable, and a seemingly unshamable group of nobodies in Brussels. We MUST control our own destiny. And that, my friends, must exclude the LibLabCon "Carry on regardless" bunch by default. None of them want us out of Europe, so none of them will do. We need someone else. In the three short weeks leading up to The Mother Of All Referendums, you need to find that someone else.

Then vote for him or her.

And get our nation back on track. Back in our hands.

Where it rightfully, and lawfully, belongs.


A Tale Of Two Crowns

I have nicked this from the FMOTL forum. Tip of the beret to HV who found the article.

This is short but fascinating.

How the Crown Rules the World

There are two Crowns operant in England, one being Queen Elizabeth II.

Although extremely wealthy, the Queen functions largely in a ceremonial capacity and serves to deflect attention away from the other Crown, who issues her marching orders through their control of the English Parliament.

This other Crown is comprised of a committee of 12 banks headed by the
Bank of England (House of Rothschild). They rule the world from the
677-acre, independent sovereign state know as The City of London, or
simply 'The City.'

The City is not a part of England, just as Washington, D.C. is not a part of the USA.

The City is referred to as the wealthiest square mile on earth and is presided over by a Lord Mayor who is appointed annually.

When the Queen wishes to conduct business within the City, she is met by the Lord Mayor at Temple (Templar) Bar where she requests permission to enter this private, sovereign state. She then proceeds into the City walking several paces behind the Mayor.

Her entourage may not be clothed in anything other than service uniforms.

In the nineteenth century, 90% of the world's trade was carried by
British ships controlled by the Crown. The other 10% of ships had to
pay commissions to the Crown simply for the privilege of using the
world's oceans.

The Crown reaped billions in profits while operating under the
protection of the British armed forces. This was not British commerce
or British wealth, but the Crown's commerce and the Crown's wealth.

As of 1850, author Frederick Morton estimated the Rothschild fortune to be in excess of $10 billion [today, the combined wealth of the banking dynasties is $300 trillion]. Today, the bonded indebtedness of the world is held by the Crown.

The aforementioned Temple Bar is the juristic arm of the Crown and
holds an exclusive monopoly on global legal fraud through their Bar
Association franchises. The Temple Bar is comprised of four Inns of
Court. They are; the Middle Temple, Inner Temple, Lincoln's Inn and
Gray's Inn. The entry point to these closed secret societies is only to be found when one is called to their Bar.

The Bar attorneys in the United States owe their allegiance and pledge
their oaths to the Crown. All Bar Associations throughout the world
are signatories and franchises to the International Bar Association
located at the Inns of Court of the Crown Temple.

The Inner Temple holds the legal system franchise by license that
bleeds Canada and Great Britain white, while the Middle Temple has
license to steal from America.

To have the Declaration of Independence recognized internationally,
Middle Templar King George III agreed in the Treaty of Paris of 1783
to establish the legal Crown entity of the incorporated United States,
referred to internally as the Crown Temple States (Colonies). States
spelled with a capital letter 'S,' denotes a legal entity of the Crown.

At least five Templar Bar Attorneys under solemn oath to the Crown,
signed the American Declaration of Independence. This means that both
parties were agents of the Crown. There is no lawful effect when a party signs as both the first and second parties. The Declaration was simply an internal memo circulating among private members of the Crown.

Most Americans believe that they own their own land, but they have
merely purchased real estate by contract. Upon fulfillment of the
contract, control of the land is transferred by Warranty Deed. The
Warranty Deed is only a 'color of title.' Color of Title is a semblance or appearance of title, but not title in fact or in law. The Warranty Deed cannot stand against the Land Patent.

The Crown was granted Land Patents in North America by the King of
England. Colonials rebelled at the usurious Crown taxes, and thus the
Declaration of Independence was created to pacify the poplulace.

Another ruse used to hoodwink natural persons is by enfranchisement.
Those cards in your wallet bearing your name spelled in all capital
letters means that you have been enfranchised and have the status of a
corporation. A 'juristic personality' has been created, and you have
entered into multi-variant agreements that place you in an equity
relationship with the Crown.

These invisible contracts include, birth certificates, citizenship
records, employment agreements, driver's licenses and bank accounts.
It is perhaps helpful to note here that contracts do not now, nor have
they ever had to be stated in writing in order to be enforceable by
American judges. If it is written down, it is merely a written
statement of the contract.

Tax protestors and (the coming) draft resistors trying to renounce the
parts of these contracts that they now disagree with will not profit
by resorting to tort law (fairness) arguments as justification. Judges
will reject these lines of defense as they have no bearing on contract
law jurisprudence. Tort law governs grievances where no contract law is in effect.

These private agreements/contracts that bind us will always overrule
the broad general clauses of the Constitution and Bill of Rights (the
Constitution being essentially a renamed enactment of English common
law). The Bill of Rights is viewed by the Crown as a 'bill of benefits,' conferred on us by them in anticipation of reciprocity (taxes).

Protestors and resistors will also lose their cases by boasting of
citizenship status. Citizenship is another equity agreement that we
have with the Crown. And this is the very juristic contract that Federal judges will use to incarcerate them. In the words of former Supreme Court Justice Felix Frankfurter, "Equity is brutal, but we are merely enforcing agreements." The balance of Title 42, section 1981 of the Civil Rights Code states, " .citizens shall be subject to like
punishment, pains, penalties, taxes, licenses, and exactions of every

What we view as citizenship, the Crown views as a juristic enrichment
instrumentality. It also should be borne in mind that even cursory
circulation or commercial use of Federal Reserve Notes effects an
attachment of liability for the payment of the Crown's debt to the FED. This is measured by your taxable income.

And to facilitate future asset-stripping, the end of the 14th
amendment includes a state of debt hypothecation of the United States, wherein all enfranchised persons (that's you) can be held personally liable for the Crown's debt.

The Crown views our participation in these contracts of commercial
equity as being voluntary and that any gain accrued is taxable, as the
gain wouldn't have been possible were in not for the Crown. They view
the system of interstate banks as their own property. Any profit or gain experienced by anyone with a bank account (or loan, mortgage or credit card) carries with it - as an operation of law - the identical same full force and effect as if the Crown had created the gain.

Bank accounts fall outside the umbrella of Fourth Amendment protection
because a commercial contract is in effect and the Bill of Rights cannot be held to interfere with the execution of commercial contracts. The Crown also views bank account records as their own private property, pursuant to the bank contract that each of us signed and that none of us ever read.

The rare individual who actually reads the bank contract will find
that they agreed to be bound by Title 26 and under section 7202 agreed not to disseminate any fraudulent tax advice. This written contract with the Crown also acknowledges that bank notes are taxable instruments of commerce.

When we initially opened a bank account, another juristic personality
was created. It is this personality (income and assets) that IRS
agents are excising back to the Crown through taxation.

A lot of ink is being spilled currently over Social Security.
Possession of a Social Security Number is known in the Crown's lex as
'conclusive evidence' of our having accepted federal commercial
benefits. This is another example of an equity relationship with the
Crown. Presenting one's Social Security Number to an employer seals our status as taxpayers, and gives rise to liability for a reciprocal quid pro quo payment of taxes to the Crown.

Through the Social Security Number we are accepting future retirement
endowment benefits. Social Security is a strange animal. If you die,
your spouse gets nothing, but rather, what would have gone to you is
divided (forfeited) among other premium payers who haven't died yet.

But the Crown views failure to reciprocate in any of these equity
attachments as an act of defilement and will proceed against us with
all due prejudice.

For a person to escape the tentacles of the Crown octopus, a thorough
going study of American jurisprudence is required. One would have to be deemed a 'stranger to the public trust,' forfeit all enfranchisement benefits and close all bank accounts, among other things.

Citizenship would have to be made null and forfeit and the status of 'denizen' enacted. If there are any persons extant who have passed through this fire, I would certainly appreciate hearing from them.

April 15, 2010

No Fly Zone

That's two strikes Iceland.

First, you wouldn't honour your debts, and now you have stopped Ranty returning to his home base.

Thanks very much.

Mrs Ranty is displeased as she had a pile of jobs for me to do this weekend. Instead, I am stuck in Tripoli where I can smoke where I want, eat at some fine restaurants, wander around the city safely whenever I li....oh wait. It's not bad at all. No CCTV, no Brown, no Cameron, no Clegg, no wall to wall coverage of the most boring general election in the history of general elections, no European interference every 4 yards.

Yes. I will shut up now.

If the Icelanders come to their senses and throw a couple of virgins into the volcano, that might just appease the gods. Please make sure that they are bankers or politicians. That would work. And even if it doesn't we will have ridded ourselves of some oxygen thieves. There's no downside. Crack on!

If the sacrifices are accepted, and the dust has gone, I will try to get home on Sunday.

If not, I shall wait longer.

I can live with the (now unfamiliar and long-forgotten) freedoms, and the sense of joy it brings.

I just never thought I would be thanking Colonel Muammar Qadaffi for that freedom.

It's a funny old world.


April 13, 2010

GE2010 And My Worthless Vote

Not a good day.

I just discovered that my vote is so diluted it is worthless. There is absolutely no point in me, or the other two voters in my family trudging down to the polling booth on May 6th. Between the three of us we barely have one tenth of one single vote.  

One tenth of one vote for three voters!

If you want to discover the power of your vote (Don't do it. Honestly, don't. It is too, too depressing), you can see the nasty result right here.

My vote "power" is 0.034. There is nothing to be gained in casting my vote. Unless I want to vote for Wee Eck and the SNP. I don't. Salmond and his party are no less authoritarian than ZaNuLabour. Plus, it was one them that introduced the Private Members Bill that led to the heinous smoking ban. For that alone, I would never vote for them as long as I lived. I would no more vote for them than I would vote for the Labour monkey, or the LibDem fence-sitter. Voting Tory in Scotland is tantamount to admitting that you are mentally sub-normal. And a traitor. And a bastard. And that you eat children.

We do have a UKIP candidate standing but it will take THIRTY of us to equal ONE SNP vote. What a load of mince.

Unless someone (one of you, perhaps) can convince me otherwise, I might as well have a lie-in on May 6th.

In fact, I might just stay in bed, under the covers, crying, the whole day.

It will be just as productive as voting.


April 12, 2010

Hor-ses, Goats And Mules*

*Sung to the tune of "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves"....

What is wrong with people??

Bloke has sex with a horse and a mule

Two blokes and a goat this time

Chef has sex with a goat. Almost normal. No. Wait. He is a gay. And the goat was a girly. Oh my.

All of the above courtesy of The register. That well known court reporters IT website.

The stories are funny though.....

(I'll await the letters from PETA with a trembling heart).


April 10, 2010

ALL UK Legislation Passed Since 2000 Is Null And Void

According to this.

Hang on to your hats. This could be very interesting for a variety of reasons.

Our government passed the House of Lords Act in 1999. This is known as General Legislation. The Act removed (hereditary) Peers of the Realm from the HoL. They were denied access to their seats. This is a no-no. A very big no-no.

So it transpires that:

"Removal of a Peer of the Realm from his seat in the House of Lords cannot be procured by General Legislation, such as the Blair Government’s House of Lords Act 1999.

This piece of General Legislation did NOT empower Her Majesty’s Government to impede a single Hereditary Peer who had taken his or her seat in the House of Lords after having sworn the Oath of Allegiance to the Crown, from continuing to carry out their solemn duties in the House of Lords as Councillors to the Crown, in accordance with the British Constitution."

Now, because they unlawfully interfered with the way the HoL operates, any and all legislation enacted since 2000 is null and void. Including, I am delighted to add, the vile and childish smoking ban, plus every single statute vomited on us from the EU. Naturally, the Lisbon Treaty is also null & void. Cool. We just left the European Union!

As previously stated, I am no legal expert. Perhaps some of my more astute readers (that would be all of you) could offer their opinions in the comments section?

The ramifications, of course, would be enormous.

Do read the whole article as it has a lot more nuggets than I placed here for your delectation. The author backs up his/her assertions with letters from members of the House of Lords and text from Hansard. 

EDIT: some background info on the author.


New tag-line:

"Bringing scary shit to your attention since 2009".

April 09, 2010

Ranty Writes Elsewhere

Those good folks over at Lawful Rebellion asked me to write a guest post for their site several weeks back.

They suggested Europe as a theme so I scribbled a couple of hundred words and sent it off. They came back and said "More dammit! Write some more!". So I added a few more paragraphs. As usual, I meandered a little but they are very forgiving. They asked me for links to embed within the piece to support it. I promised to do so. Then life happened: I had to travel for my work, I had a house move coming up, then another trip, then the house move itself, then I had no comms at home, which was followed by a power cut and to top it off I had to travel again to Libya. They decided to publish without the supporting links which I was happy with. Simply Googling some of the terms I used within the piece will lead you to the same sources I used anyway.

This is a short section of the piece:

"Worse was to come. We discovered that politicians suffer deafness 1 nanosecond after winning your vote. It is axiomatic. Power received = instant deafness. Over 4 million of us signed a petition to 10 Downing Street in which we begged them not to close our post offices. We were ignored, and the slaughter began. I now have an 18 mile round trip to my nearest post office. For some it is much, much worse. We watched, as our government piled stupidity on top of ineptitude and smothered the whole mess with greed. They just love our money. They can’t get enough of it. When they get caught with their sticky fingers in the till what do we hear? “I was just following the rules”. Nice. One story that blew my mind concerned a young mum who applied to the Social Fund for a single bed for her daughter. After jumping through more hoops than a circus dog she was told that she qualified for a bed, but that she would have to provide the mattress herself. Her wee girl slept on coats piled on the bare springs. Meanwhile, thousands of £££’s were happily shovelled towards an MP whose moat needed dredging."

If you are sufficiently interested, pop over here to read the full thing. I urge you most strongly to hang around the site for a bit and read some of their earlier articles, and if you have time, listen to some fascinating interviews with some of our movements' leading lights.

Thank you guys, for publishing my piece.


April 06, 2010

Ranty's Manifesto

You are going to get these rammed down your throat for the next four weeks, so I thought I'd get mine in early.

Most politicians claim they need 100 days to effect change. I disagree. I need 100 minutes. That includes 1 hour for lunch, and two smoke breaks. And I am famous for skiving too. My plan is still easily achievable.

If I were standing, and if I were elected, these would be the things I did in the first 100 minutes:

1. Leave the EU. Using violence if called upon so to do. We get our country back. Number 1 Priority.

2. Repeal all statutes from 1997 onwards. (With a swift trip back to 1972 to rip up, burn, then shred, the European Communities Act).

3. Select one man/woman, to act as International Liaison. The other 645 are surplus to requirements.

4. All quangos are ended. No exceptions.

5. All charities that leech money from the government are ended. No exceptions.

6. All administrative, judicial and policing powers are devolved all the way down to your local town hall. However big or small it is. Town Hall leaders, judges, and police chiefs will be elected by the local populace.

7. All town halls given tax raising powers. Any that try to demand more than 10% will go to gaol. Local tax(from 3-5%) to replace VAT. Council Tax is gone. Road Tax is gone. Tax on fuel is gone. Tobacco Tax is gone. Alcohol Tax is gone. And any more that I can think of during my first smoke break.

8. All hospitals to lose at least 80% of their "Admin" staff. Power to be restored to matrons. (The ex-Admin staff will be offered minimum wage and handed wire wool and Dettol and will be instructed to get their buildings cleaned up. Any hospitals in which MRSA reappears will be charged with criminal neglect).

9. Armed Forces to be beefed up, to be well equipped, well paid, and cared for properly. They will assume a defence role only. We will only go to war if we are attacked on our own soil. We will retain a nuclear option. We have always been a nation with a bite like a rabid baboon. We will remind the world of this fact.

10. Referenda will be held in NornIreland, Scotland and Wales. If they want out, we shake them by the hand and wish them all the best. Same for the Cornish. And Birmingham.

You want justification? If you keep giving a bloated government money, it will keep taking and it will keep wasting it. It is axiomatic. Get rid of a big fat government and you get rid of the need for excessive taxation. Hospitals full of clerks do nothing for the patients. We have dedicated nurses and doctors, and they must be allowed to do what they do best: make sick people better. No more targets for them. If we have thousands of laws, people will, even purely by accident, transgress. Remove the plethora of statutes-no more crime. All statutes to be replaced by one law: Do No Harm. Fall foul of this one law and your retrained judge, and a jury of your peers, will decide your fate. Police? No targets other than to get boots on the ground. They will be retrained (by old school coppers) in their intended role as keepers of the peace.

Leaving the EU is as obvious as it is mandatory. Nuff said.

Quangos? Waste of money. Busy work, nothing more.

Charities? If they can only survive on government hand-outs (ASH for example) then they aren't charities, they are government departments. Too expensive to keep. They will be terminated. With extreme prejudice, if required. Stand on your own two feet or die. Simples.

I know, I know. I have missed out a fecking great pile of stuff. But the above will all be achieved before knock off on the first day. I will use the rest of the week to clean up all those other things that piss us off.

On the Friday I will retire. Job done.

Brits will then determine how their lives are run. If they want to lock horns over inanities in their town halls all day long, do it. Whatever lights your candle.

Oh. One more thing. You have to live with your decisions. However bad they are. It is called personal responsibility. Yes. It's back!

Me? I'll be down the Dog & Duck having a guilt-free smoke with a guilt-free pint and a guilt-free double cheeseburger and chips. If I die before the allotted time-span (according to some twat in a white coat), so be it. I won't be suing anyone, nosirreebob.

That's it.


Labours Success

Uberblogger Old Holborn has asked for a list of things Labour got wrong over the last 13 years.

It is only fair, in my humble opinion, to counter-balance Holby's list with one that showcases their successes.

Here it is:


It took me quite a while to come up with that list. I hope you appreciate the efforts that your unbending author puts in.


April 05, 2010

Shit, Meet Fan.

Since I'm up anyway, (leaving for the airport in an hour), I thought I'd wing these two vids your way.

If this chap is right, and I strongly suspect he is, we are heading for a world of pain. It may just pay you to take his advice: get your dosh out of the bank and turn it into something of (tradeable) value. Gold, silver, diamonds, property, whatever. Let's face it, your money isn't putting on any weight at the bank. According to Mr Salbuchi, that £1000 that you put away for a rainy day could be worth as little as £250 very, very soon.

If he is right, it is going to piss down. A debt based economy has a limited life-span. We have been lucky so far, but that luck cannot last. What to do? What to do?

Three words for you: watch, listen, react.

The alternative is to do nothing, wait, cross your fingers and erm, trust that your financially astute government rushes to calm, comfort and protect you.

As always, the choice is yours.


H/T to Harry Tuttle over at the TPUC Forum.

Fundamentals Of Freedom

I realise that these videos come to you a little late. I have been blogging for a year now and I should have posted this link when it first came out in August last year. My bad. Still, better late than never.

The guy presenting the videos is a personal favourite of mine. His name is Rob:Menard. He used to be a stand-up comedian but was brutally awakened when the Canadian social services snatched his child. He dived into the law to find a remedy and he has pretty much stayed there ever since. If I were going to court next week, and the very finest, cleverest barrister in the land offered me his services for free, or I could have Rob for £1000, I'd pick Rob.  He knows his onions. He discovered the concept of Freemanism along the way and is a founder member of the worldwide organisation. If you are concerned that he talks about Canada, don't be. They have the same picture on their fiat currency as we do. Same shit, different continent.

He has a great teaching style, but if you are expecting kid gloves, don't press the play button. If you want to bung the man a fiver for his efforts, that would be a lovely thing to do. I intend to.

I link here to Fundamentals of Freedom 1. There are two more in the series to whet your appetite, and, if you want to, you can complete all 30 lessons that the FoF videos relate to. (I am about halfway through). Rob and his fellow Canadians have been at this for a while. They have discovered a great deal, and they are teaching us. If you wish to learn about life as a Freeman, and the mechanics of becoming one, you could do worse than to watch, listen, and learn from this series of videos. I wish you good luck and Godspeed. Little tip: tape something soft to your desk to protect your chin. Rob will amaze you as he unfolds the deceptions one by one. I noted (with pleasure) that our friend Drabzz has dived in and watched a few videos. Maybe he can attest to their usefulness here for us.

I am heading south to warmer climes. Yup, North Africa needs me back again so I will be gone for a couple of weeks. I will try to blog from there but as you know, I don't (yet) read Arabic so when Blogger switches from English, I am buggered.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to learn a little more about the Freeman Movement, and why this is a much better alternative to X Factor or Eastenders. Or not. The blue pill might be to your liking.

Me? I'm a red-piller.


April 04, 2010

Policing In The 21st Century

I sleep better at nights having watched this fascinating documentary. Knowing this man is keeping the baddies at bay "...from dirty bombs to overdue library books..." helps enormously.

And he is quite funny at times.

I hope he passes his test this year and gets to be a real policeman.

No, really.


April 02, 2010

Friday Funny

Seen in a (US) newspaper.

It made I larf, it did.


More Uncomfortable Truths...

Hover over the title to open the pdf the link takes you to.

I was researching different species of money as I have heard of some successes where people have turned remittances (aka bills/invoices and the like) into cheques. There is a bit of learning needed beforehand and I will tell you more in a new blog entry when I have validated the details.

What happens is that we receive a bill or invoice and there is a giro/remittance thingy on the bottom. We detach it, fill in the boxes, (let's say the bill is for £200), sign the slip, then we add our own cheque for £200. We put both in an envelope, add a stamp, and send the letter off to say, the Council Tax department. Your local CT office bank the cheques, and send the remittance device to their Chief Accountant. Every now and then, he/she sends them off to the Debt Management Office where the remittance slips are treated just like cash. It is here that the "double-dip" happens. You just paid the bill twice. There is a particular way of filling in the information on the giroslip and I will blog on that when I have tried this for myself. If it works I will tell you, and if it doesn't work, I will also tell you. The beauty of this is that it will cost nothing to try, and no-one ends up in the doo-doo. It requires absolutely zero bravery.

According to the Bills of Exchange Act, there is no reason why it shouldn't work, but, as I am wont to say, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. Let me eat first. If it tastes nasty I will let you know.

Regular/long time readers will know that I attempted to use another method in the past called A4V or Accepting For Value. It didn't work. It may not be because the method is invalid, but because I made a basic mistake. I sent it to a low level clerk instead of the Head Honcho. However, I won't try it again until I have concrete proof that it works. I'd rather try a variety of ways and then stick with the one that works.

Please note that I will only be trying this with government departments. I will not be trying to avoid paying off my credit card, or any other contract I have entered into knowingly. I reserve this kind of activity purely for things like council tax, income tax, road tax, or maybe even my TV licence. Not "private" stuff.

Now then, I hadn't intended to waffle on about the BoE, I wanted to show you the attached document and the three dozen "factoids" it lists at the bottom of the document. Almost all are referenced to court actions/judgements, Executive Orders, or Papal Bulls. (That should keep Kit happy!). If you don't want to read through the financial stuff just scroll down to page 12 for the factoids.

It lists some fascinating stuff that I hadn't seen before.

Have a look and let me know what you think.