December 01, 2010
I nicked this from El Filthy Engineero.
It bears reshowing. I fly 30 or 40 times a year and I hate this routine invasion of my privacy. They must know that I fly 30 or 40 times a year and they must also know that I haven't ever blown up a plane or even attempted to.
For the last twenty years almost all the bombers have been beardy dudes with 76 virgins uppermost in their tiny minds. Another clue is their religion: they are all Muslims. As much as I like our Muslim brothers, and I do, the only sensible thing is profiling. Bill Smith the white man is highly unlikely to want to blow the plane out of the sky. No virgins for him, just eternal damnation. Wave him through. Abdullah Abdullah Ahmed Fawsi Delbasset is another kettle of fish. Lots of virgins for him, and some, if Allah wills it, will be as old as seven or eight. Take Abdullah to one side and check him. I'm not saying he will have 12 kilos of Semtex shoved up his glory hole but when you put him alongside Bill, who is more likely to want to kill all the passengers in the name of Allah, praise be upon him?
It isn't fucking rocket surgery, is it?
Then again, the people they employ to carry out this job are not exactly bright, are they? I mostly have to travel through terminal 5 at Heathrow where these chimps all seem to have the IQ of a facecloth. They are rude and they are arrogant. They are unpleasant people and I see them committing enough mistakes to make me sweat. And yes, the people they fuck around the most are the Bill Smiths passing through their nonsensical checkpoints.
Separate queues for Muslims, that's what I say.
And you know what? The good ones will get so pissed off they will take more of an interest in the bad ones and they may start tipping off the chimps.
Or, just ban all Muslims from flying. That way we can all be safe and will not have to endure the humiliation.